Refuge for Ourselves
by wurd-god
Summary: A woman with a past of her own comes to Hawaii for a vacation to visit her friend and is offered a chance of a lifetime. Steve/OC
1. The Emergence of Home

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**Hello! **__Just a quick note to everyone: I didn't base this on the original show; in fact I took what I wanted from the new television series and ran with it. So if there are any diehard fans out there, please don't be offended._

_**B**__ut if the while I think on thee, dear friend,_

_All losses are restored and sorrows end. — William Shakespeare_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter One**

**The Emergence of Home**

Melissa Jones honestly couldn't remember the last time she had stepped off a plane, into the airport and felt with a certainty that she was home. It just felt right, the conviction that this is where she belonged settled in her bones and for what seemed like the thousand time today, she reminded herself that she had made the right decision. It had taken a lot of convincing from her friend Kono, but finally she relented, or at least agreed for a mini vacation away from her home in the Federal Bureau's Violent Criminal Apprehension Program.

She had joined the academy right out of high school and slowly but steadily worked her way through the layers of the New York Police Department up until her twenty-fourth birthday, when she found out she was blacklisted and under investigation by Internal Affairs because of her partner's association with certain crime lords and propensity for accepting bribes. Being who she was, she packed up her things, applied to the Federal Bureau, and worked non-stop until she finally felt like the stain from New York was forgotten and began to work for the Violent Criminal Apprehension taskforce.

Breya James had been borne and raised in New York and having her life ripped apart from suspicion, she began a new life in Virginia working for the Bureau. There she began to grow and evolve, working and bleeding, sweating and pushing herself harder than she had ever before until she made it on the taskforce. Starting her life anew had been a blessing for Breya, it meant that going undercover would be easier for her; creating a new identity and working under the pressure and suspicious gazes of criminals until they accepted her was ironic, but it meant the world to her.

So Breya became Melissa Jones, and began working undercover, bouncing around the states with cases until she had to go undercover as a surfer in Hawaii and there she had met Kono, a fellow surfer. They had hit it off immediately and their friendship, though under strains from Kono's knee injury and career change to Melissa's less than stellar past and career choice, their friendship only grew stronger. In fact, Kono was one of the very select few that knew Melissa's real name and the past in which she had emerged from; which alone was a testament to the strength of their bond since Melissa had a few issues with trust.

Even though Melissa refused vacations, she still managed to buy a loft by the beach in Hawaii where Kono housesat whenever she was away. And now, with just a few months to go before her twenty-seventh birthday, Kono had told her that she had found herself her own apartment and to get her butt back to Hawaii for a real vacation. Maybe even a permanent one.

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"Hey, Boss?" Kono asked, raising an eyebrow when all three pairs of eyes turned to her. She hadn't wanted to ask, but she knew slave driver Steve McGarrett probably expected Danny Williams, her cousin Chin Ho Kelly and her to stay all night studying this case. She glanced at her watch and winced, if she broke a few speeding laws on the way to the airport, she'd just make it.

"Yes, Kono?" Steve asked closing the case file in his hands.

"I was wondering if I could have the rest of tonight and tomorrow off…its kind of short notice." Kono shrugged, smiling when she heard Danny snort. She ignored her cousin's questioning look, throughout all of the years of her friendship with Melissa, she had never really spoken to Chin about it; all he knew was that Melissa had been there when Kono's life had been turned upside down because of her knee.

"Big plans?" Steve raised an eyebrow, he knew he was hassling her, he'd give her the time off but his curiosity was more than peeked. Kono almost never asked for personal time.

"Well…my friend is visiting and I want to get her comfortable and try to convince her to make her vacation permanent." Kono explained leaning back in her chair to tell them how she'd plan on changing Melissa's stubborn mind when her eyes fell to the clock on the wall and her heart stopped. "But I'm going to be late. Thanks boss!" She grabbed her keys and bolted, there was no other way around it. She could always stay late other nights but tonight was important to her and it was important that she showed Melissa how much coming home meant to her.

"That was…odd. I've never seen her that excited." Danny commented aloud.

Chin nodded, "Sorry Steve—"

Steve snorted, "Hey, everyone needs time away. We can handle this case ourselves, we're men, right?"

"Well, I know I am." Danny muttered ignoring the glare Steve threw his way.

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Melissa waited by the luggage pick up anxiously, no matter how often she traveled for her job, she was always nervous about her luggage. Something about strangers handling her things, someone losing it…it just added to her anxiety of the airport experience. She glanced at her watch and raised an eyebrow, Kono was late; Kono was almost never late, even though she had been a surfer, the surfing mentality had never stuck and she was always prompt. But she could forgive her; Kono probably was kicking herself enough that she wouldn't even say anything.

She let out a huge sigh of relief when she saw her luggage, and hurriedly bent down to grab it, letting out a string of curses in the process. She was still sore, not intensely sore as she had been the day after but sore enough that she should have slowly grabbed her luggage. There was a reason why she had accepted Kono's invitation because of her last case; as she was apprehending a very violent, very crazy man, he had threw off two of the men holding him from her taskforce and attacked her. She had seen it coming but a psycho with a vendetta against women was always stronger and she hadn't been able to block a few square punches to her ribs.

Being beaten up was nothing new, but it suddenly dawned on her that she didn't want to make a life out of being a killer's punching bag, regardless of the globetrotting. She was bone tired and thought maybe Hawaii would instill some sunshine in her and make her okay again. She hadn't thought that much about her plans for the future, her bosses still thought this was a vacation, and maybe it was. Or maybe it wasn't. She honestly didn't want to think of anything for a little while.

"Well, look who it is." Melissa heard behind her and forgot about everything but her friend and whipped around seeing Kono smiling hugely.

There weren't enough words in the English language or any of the other seven languages she knew, to iterate how she felt at that moment, but being a single child growing up had been lonely and she always wished that she had a sister to share life with. And at that moment, she knew she had one. "Come here." Melissa met Kono halfway and hugged her fiercely, ignoring the pain in her ribs and held on.

"Well, if I had known I was going to get such warm reception, I would have suggested this a long time ago." Kono laughed, grabbing Melissa's carry on bag. "Please tell me you packed a bathing suit."

Melissa laughed, she had forgotten the last time she had laughed since and damn, it felt good. "I'm in Hawaii, why the hell wouldn't I?"

Kono nodded, "Good, we still have a match to settle."

Melissa snorted; she had forgotten about their surfing match, "Well, we all know who's going to win. You might as well admit defeat, Kono."

"I admit defeat? Excuse me, but I'm the best out of everyone in Hawaii!" Kono pretended outrage and grinned when Melissa snorted.

"Hmm, just keep telling yourself that and my victory won't hurt as much." Kono caught Melissa throwing appreciative glances at her car and frowned. She honestly hadn't thought about that, if she wanted Melissa to move here, she'd need a car. She'd have to ask her cousin if he knew where to get used cars. Melissa hated new things and if Kono was being honest, she did too.

"So, here's our plans. Drop your stuff at your place, we're grab a bite to eat and maybe get drunk?"

"Hmm, that sounds like a deal. How long is your time off?" Melissa asked lightly, she didn't want Kono to feel guilty or like she _had_ to take time off from work. Work was important to Kono, especially with her new position she had told Melissa about with a new taskforce and she could make do without Kono, if she had to.

"Don't worry about it. What about yours?" Kono glanced at Melissa when she remained quiet.

Melissa threw a smile her way, "As long as I wanted. I haven't had a real vacation since…" Melissa had been about to say since she left the NYPD but that had been a lie; it wasn't a real vacation.

Kono knew Melissa's train of thoughts and grimaced, "Don't worry about it. We'll make this the best one ever."

"Of that, I have no doubts. Our plans tomorrow?"

"Surfing, ice cones and shopping." Kono smiled when Melissa began to nod earnestly.

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Kono whistled when she saw Melissa exit her bedroom wearing jeans and a shirt, "You aren't going to be hot? This isn't Virginia, you know."

Melissa laughed, she had wanted to wear shorts and a tank top like Kono but her body had a few scars from being undercover and more than enough tattoos. She had half a sleeve, a few on her other shoulder, her upper back, one above her heart, her entire thigh, hip and a few littering both of her legs. Some of the ink had been her idea and others were the cost of going undercover in gangs where tattoos meant power.

"I just don't want to start anything here." Melissa explained and Kono felt a twinge of sadness for her friend. She had made herself into a dangerous criminal for a job that was thankless and she still paid the ramifications.

"Change into something more comfortable." When she saw Melissa still hesitating Kono promised, "Look, I'll make you a deal. If anything happens tonight, I'll be your backup."

It was all the urging she needed and came out of her bedroom again under five minutes flat, "See, that's way more Hawaiian now." Kono tried not to stare at some of the new ink but knew that some of the tattoos Melissa was sporting was from very dangerous infamous gangs that most criminals, and cops knew to leave alone when they saw someone sporting them.

Melissa tried not to be too self-conscious and she was doing fine, up until her and Kono walked into a very small pub and a few of the patrons stopped talking to stare at her, "Well, this is such a homecoming." Melissa snorted.

"I know, right?" Kono snorted when she heard Melissa chuckle, the girl would be okay. They got themselves settled away from the prying eyes and both girls began to relax when they heard the chattering pick up again.

"What would you both like to drink?" The waitress asked.

"Beer, tequila shots and—" Kono began.

"And that will be enough for now, thank you." Melissa smiled up at the waitress before turning her attention to Kono, "I do plan on walking out of here without any help, you know."

Kono laughed, "Just wanted to loosen you up." 

Melissa forgot all about reality, about everything but her and Kono, laughing and it being like old times. The hours blurred by and she finally, finally began to unwind and enjoy herself. She should have known though, that no matter where she went, trouble would find her. Trouble in the form of three burly men, glaring holes through Melissa.

Kono lowered the beer bottle from her mouth and smiled at the men, "Can we help you gentlemen?"

"Yeah, why you hanging around with someone like that?" One of them nodded towards Melissa.

"We don't want any trouble." Melissa said, slowly getting up and pushing away from the table, she threw a smile at the scowling Kono. Who was she kidding? A vacation without a few punches thrown wasn't really a proper vacation.

"Then why you showing off that?" One of the other men pointed towards the tattoo on her arm.

She nodded, knowing that tattoo had cost her a lot, it allowed her to infiltrate one of the most infamous gangs in the south, guaranteed danger if she ever visited the south again and ensured she would always be in trouble if anyone recognized it. Anyone being most everyone. "We're not doing this in here."

Kono pushed herself away from the table to stand up, glaring at the men, "There's children here."

"Then you should have thought about that before coming here."

And the next thing Melissa knew, there was a fist the size of a very large grapefruit coming at her. But both her and Kono had always been tough, more than tough; they had excelled in both of their self-defense classes, respectively and knew how to handle themselves around a fight. Drunk or not. Melissa grunted when one of them landed a punch to her lip, thanking her luck that her head had already been back, so the punch only split her lip, and had not knocked any teeth out.

She distantly heard sirens wailing closer and closer and through her tipsy state, she still managed to drop two of the men and grab Kono just as she dropped him, "C'mon, before they get here."

"Wait." Kono pulled out a few bills and threw them on her chair, the table no longer being an option since Melissa had thrown one of the men on it.

"We're good now?" Melissa mockingly asked and quickly left the bar, Kono at her heels.


	2. Judge, Jury and Kismet

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**G**__ive thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow. . — Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros_

_Thank you to the alerts, reviews and favourites, it means a lot to me!_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Two**

**Judge, Jury and Kismet**

"Don't look at me like that, I happen to think my split lip is very sexy." Melissa commented, walking around her loft trying to find her damn beach towels.

Kono rolled her eyes and began laughing when she finally caught sight of Melissa's bikini from under her beach dress, "You're wearing a gold bikini? Girl, no matter how much I try to lie to myself and pretend you were born here, you're so…mainland."

Melissa laughed, finally finding the towels and throwing them in her bag. She did a quick mental inventory and nodded, all set. "Hey, I don't know why you always act so surprised. I never said I wasn't a city girl. I love the city."

Kono shrugged, "I'll just pretend you never said that. C'mon, I bet the tides are perfect."

Melissa locked up following alongside Kono, "Oh, by the way, your swollen jaw is very hot."

Kono laughed, "Leave it to you to think bruises is a fashion accessory."

Melissa shrugged, walking alongside Kono, "Hey, I just like to make the best of things."

They both laughed as they walked a couple blocks towards the beach; when Melissa had bought the loft, she hadn't really cared that it was close to the beach nor did she ever plan to actually inhabit the place but now that she was here, she honestly couldn't imagine a place where she would rather be.

It felt good, laughing with a friend; a lighthearted feeling settled in Melissa and for the first time since she could last remember, she felt really good. She felt light, like she belonged and even though her own family had believed the lies cast against her, Kono had never once doubted Melissa's innocence. It was like walking around with a proverbial sign hanging over her head but Kono not once even mentioned Melissa's past…it was as if she didn't even care about the stains.

They found a spot where they could throw their things, and Kono carried out both her and Melissa's board from a shed nearby. No words were exchanged for the rest of the morning, just two girls, laughter and the open ocean at their toes.

Melissa forgot about the furtive glances cast their way as they walked towards the beach, her with her tattoos and split lip and Kono with her swollen jaw. They made quite a pair and neither cared. All they cared about was the childlike laughter and the tides sweeping them further away from reality and into their own worlds.

"I wish I could do this every day." Melissa commented dreamily.

Kono splashed water her way, they both had decided to take a breather and straddled their boards; sitting, floating and just being. "No ones telling you that you can't." Kono pointed out.

"I know…" Melissa nodded, if she could believe life was this simple and this brilliant, she would never want to wake up, "But mamma needs to bring home the dough."

Kono snorted, "How much do you have saved anyway? Hmm…? You don't buy anything!"

Melissa mocked outrage, "Hey, I bought you that awesome quilt from Sweden!"

"I know, and thanks, it'll keep me warm through the cold winters here." Kono deadpanned. Melissa gave her the finger and they both shared a few laughs that Kono cut short when she glanced back at the beach.

"What's wrong?" Melissa asked bringing her hand down to her holster and swearing when she remembered that she was wearing next to nothing but her bikini.

Kono threw another frown towards the beach and this time, Melissa could make out three figures but they were too far from on the beach for her to make out any details, "It's nothing." Kono forced a smile Melissa's way.

"Okay, I'm not buying that. You lie worse than…well, you suck at lying. So spill." Melissa crossed her arms and tried to give Kono her most intimidating look that worked on criminals.

Instead, Kono just chuckled, "I told them I wanted today off."

Melissa straightened up, "Oh, maybe they need you for a job. We should go back." She knew how important work was, no matter friendship; Kono's work should come before she did. It was brutal, but it was the truth that worked both ways.

Kono rolled her eyes, "It's not that. They're just curious. I phoned Chin this morning and asked him about a car, guess he tracked me down."

Melissa picked through what Kono had said, "Okay, why are they curious? And why did you ask Chin about a car?"

"This is the only time that I asked for personal time." Kono shrugged.

"Aw, I think my heart just melted."

"Shut up."

"Okay." Melissa waited and realized Kono wasn't going to spill about the car until prompted, "And the car…?"

"For me, as a gift to one of my cousins." Kono shrugged.

Melissa would have thought that suspicious since she knew Kono was only really close to Chin but before she could interrogate her further, they heard a distant shout, someone calling Kono from the beach.

"C'mon, before they get anymore antsy…bastards." Kono mumbled and began paddling towards the beach.

Melissa groaned, she hadn't wanted to meet any of Kono's associates, family or friends, was it horrible of her to admit that she wanted to only be known to her friend and no one else whilst she was here? If Kono's boss and partners didn't like Melissa or judged her with what was on her skin, Kono could face a few problems.

"The least they could do is leave so I can become more presentable." Melissa begrudged, a scowl marring her face.

Kono laughed, "This is Hawaii, a bikini is plenty presentable."

Melissa was close enough that if she squinted she could make out the details of the three men standing on the beach. One of them she recognized instantly as Kono's cousin, Chin Ho Kelly, the other was the shortest of the three. He was wearing a white dress shirt and dress pants, dirty blond hair combed back and in that instant, Melissa finally understood what a mainlander looked like. He was the embodiment of it. The tallest one was, sadly, the most handsome of the three, with rich dark hair, tight jeans and a tighter shirt—whoa; she had better stop there before she got herself deeper than she probably already was. She could ignore his looks; she was constantly surrounded with good-looking men. It didn't mean that they found her attractive and if she were being honest, she was too messed up to get tangled up with anyone.

"Here goes nothing." Melissa muttered, getting up from her board and wading through the knee-deep water. The men moved closer to the shore and she quickly wrung the water from her long hair.

"Hey guys, what brings you here?" Kono asked lightly stabbing her board in the sand.

Melissa had wanted to use the board as a shield, the way they were staring at her; it was as if they were dissecting her layer by layer. But alas, she had never been passive.

"Oh…you know. Just thought it would do us good if we got some sun." The tall one replied still staring at her and she forgot all about the board, the ocean, and breathing. Melissa could tell he was pulling apart every line and design on her skin and slowly moved her right arm behind her back. Out of all of the gang tattoos that she had, the right one was the one that had started the brawl last night, it also had almost cost her, her life and a few people had died in result of seeing that piece of ink. She knew without a doubt they could easily place it.

"What happened to your jaw, cus?" Chin asked frowning at Kono.

Kono smiled, "Oh, you know. We went to a bar last night and some kids were getting up in our business."

Melissa tried holding back a laugh, she honestly did. She didn't want any more attention that was already piqued to focus only on her, but holding back a laugh had turned into a very unladylike snort. One that earned her three eyebrow raises and a cheeky grin from Kono, "Yeah, those…_little_ boys." Kono laughed, grabbing the board from Melissa to shove it in the sand to stand alongside her board.

"Since Kono is planning on being rude, I'm Danny Williams." The shortest of the three men said, stepping up to extend his hand to shake hers. Melissa didn't want to shake his hand; she knew if she did they would see what she was trying to hide.

Instead, she played dumb and waved, "Hi. Melissa Jones." She turned to Kono's cousin and smiled, "You must be Chin Ho Kelly. Finally get to meet you"

He nodded, exchanging a slight smile with her, "Nice to meet you too, Melissa. I see the…boys landed a punch too."

Melissa nodded, "Just a love tap, really. It looks worse than it really is." She glanced at the tallest and disgustingly, the most handsome of the three and waited, was he not going to introduce himself? Instead he kept scowling at her and her salvation came in the form of Kono. "This is Steve McGarrett, my boss."

He extended her hand and she knew. At that moment she knew she was in very, very deep trouble. One, his eyes were the most intense and enigmatic she had ever seen, and two, there was knowledge in his eyes. Knowledge that he knew she was dangerous. Kono once again saved her, "Okay, well…now that you're done checking up on me—" Kono grabbed Melissa and began dragging her away from the three.

"Where did you get those bruises from? They look too old to have come from last night." Steve's steely voice made them stop and Melissa died. His voice was richer and deeper than any whiskey she had encountered, _Bastard_, she thought bitterly.

"I can see why he's the boss, bet he never misses a thing." Melissa whispered to Kono and was graced with a slight nod and a sigh.

The two turned back to the three and Melissa made sure to hold Kono by the waist with her right arm, Kono in turn threw her arm around Melissa's shoulder. There was yet another reason why they were friends, they understood each other without even speaking, "Uh…yeah. At my job, it can get a little rowdy sometimes."

Danny nodded, "What do you do?"

"Just a paper pusher." She smiled, hopping that they would stop interrogating her.

"Paper the shape of fists?" Steve asked.

"You guys, you're being rude. My friend is visiting and if you excuse us, we have to get back and make lunch. We're starved." Kono spelt it out.

Steve nodded, "That sounds great, we're hungry. Right guys?"

"Hell yes, I've been waiting for you to ask." Danny smiled at the deadpanned Kono.

"Fine." Kono bit out, "C'mon, Melissa."

Melissa went to their stuff and threw a glance back at Kono arguing quietly with Danny and Chin, "Why are you really here?" The liquid whisky voice asked from above her head.

She knew it was rude but she ignored Steve until she quickly pulled on her dress and a cardigan she packed, "Didn't Kono tell you? I'm on vacation." She bared her teeth, pretending it was a smile.

Steve bent down and grabbed their things from her and she shoved down the tingle she felt when she realized he had a thread of chivalry in him. It was small, but it was there. Damn it.

She walked quietly, Kono and Danny trailing behind and bickering amongst themselves, Chin and Steve walking alongside Melissa.

"I wanted to thank you." Chin quietly commented.

Melissa threw a speculative glance his way, "For what?"

"For being there for Kono through her knee injury and her joining the HPD."

Melissa shrugged, ignoring Steve's presence beside her, "I didn't do it for her…well, I did. But she's my closest friend; of course I'd be there for her. I also came for her graduation but…" Melissa trailed off; Kono had been working a case, gotten beaten up and realized that graduations didn't mean anything so instead; they had celebrated in their own way.

"How did you two meet?" Steve asked.

"We were both surfing at the time and she stole my wave." Melissa smiled, thinking fondly of the yelling match that had started their friendship.

Danny whistled, "Wow."

Melissa threw a glance over to him and frowned when she realized he was staring up at her loft building, "What's wrong?"

"This is one of most…expensive places to live." Danny commented.

Melissa glanced at Kono and shrugged, there wasn't anything really to say. They were already suspicious of her, she had noticed the furtive glances and frowns the men kept throwing her way and now? Living in a haute place probably only added to the whole schism.

She refused to regret coming to Hawaii, just because she might have started a brawl on her first night and if the way things were going at this moment, then she could guarantee heavy and very loud words were going to be exchanged. Maybe not in front of her, but they were surely waiting to get Kono alone and pounce. She felt itchy and unsure of how to act around them, especially Steve. Though she refused to admit to herself the real reason why, him being intense was a good enough answer.


	3. The Schism Between Us

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**I **__can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it__. — Maya Angelou_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Three**

**The Schism Between Us**

Melissa shut the bedroom door behind her and rested wearily against it; she was gritty from the seawater, starving from her day spent with Kono surfing and tired to her bones about seeing suspicion lurk in peoples eyes. But it was the life she chose, no one asked her to mark herself with danger, no one asked her to divulge her life to crime to purge the underworld. It was by her own will and her own choice, she just had to keep reminding herself that her life was one of solitude, one she should gladly hold onto.

"Melissa?"

Melissa moved away from the door and opened it to let Kono through, "Hey."

"Hey, look…I'm sorry." Kono's smile faltered when she saw the look of weary defeat and acceptance in Melissa's eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. I think I just screwed up your life a little bit—"

Kono shrugged, "By what? Being my friend? Who cares about what you do! Look…let's eat, kick the jerks out and we can stay in and watch movies all night."

Melissa smiled, "The sad part it, that actually sounds like fun. You're working tomorrow?"

"Yes, but Chin will drive me home tonight so I can leave my car and keys here for you." Kono pulled Melissa from her perch on the bed and began slowly dragging her to the door.

"And why would you do that?"

"So you are free to roam the island tomorrow." Kono shrugged. Melissa threw caution to the wind and nodded. "Oh, by the way, I should be done work tomorrow around six."

And there it was. "Just give me the address and I'll pick you up."

Kono laughed and pulled open Melissa's bedroom door, "We're having sandwiches." Kono called out to the three men sitting uncomfortably on the couches.

Danny got up immediately and Melissa begrudgingly gave him a few points for manners. "I can help." He offered, smiling tentatively to her.

She wanted to say no, she wanted to kick them out for ruining her vacation…but then a sudden thought came to her. They weren't ruining her vacation, she was letting them ruin it. Because of what? They were suspicious of her and standoffish? Her entire life was built off of those two things and though she had changed her life around the comings of distrust of others, she still remained. For the first time in a while, Melissa realized that she was okay with the misgivings of others and that she was fine living within her own means. "Sure." She smiled back and chattered over her shoulder to Danny, "Though I have no idea where everything is."

"You've never—?" Danny began.

"I was house-sitting for her when she was gone." Kono broke in, pulling the ingredients out of the fridge for Melissa.

"Was?" Chin asked settling his frame into a barstool.

Melissa shoved Kono out of her way with her hip and the two girls quietly laughed, "Okay, okay, I'll get us something to drink then."

"Here, add two pieces." Melissa ordered, handing over a plate of lettuce to Danny and just barely managed to ignore his sarcastic reply, "Yeah, Kono helped me look after this place but decided she wanted something of her own…I don't know why." Melissa rolled her eyes when she heard Kono retort and curse her in Samoan, "No, I'm pretty sure my mother wasn't a whore."

Danny chortled but Chin laughed aloud, "You understand Samoan?"

Melissa shrugged and replied tartly in the given language, smiling over Chin's laugh and Steve's chuckle. That one chuckle could fuel an entire steamboat of wet dreams for her and if she weren't careful…ugh. She shoved down her wayward thoughts and threw an appreciating glance at the sandwiches her and Danny had made, she had to give it to him. They worked quite well together…though even idiots could make them.

"Thank you." Steve quietly said to Melissa when she handed him his sandwich. She stared intently in his eyes and for what seemed like the millionth time that day, she felt contentment and disgust knowing she would be perfectly happy just to stare in his eyes all day. He was that dreamy….did she just say dreamy?

"You're welcome." Melissa added, joining Kono in leaning against the kitchen counter.

"How long are you visiting for?" Steve asked.

Melissa bit back a rude reply, at least when Danny and Chin asked questions, they were subtle in their interrogation. "I don't know yet, I was cleared for as long as I needed." And then Melissa stopped. Using the words 'cleared' and 'needed' sounded awfully like military diction and she saw a ripple go through Steve. But she ignored it. She could deflect any questions, working for the Bureau and undercover had taught her some pretty awesome life skills, if she were being honest.

"What are you two girls up to tonight?" Chin asked pushing his empty plate away.

Melissa had always been a slow eater, when she was working a case she learned to shovel food down but when she was by herself, it could take her up to an hour eating something as trivial as a bowl of soup. She pushed away her sandwich, though she hadn't even had the chance for more than two bites and began clearing away the dishes, "No, it's okay. I'm the host." She smiled at Danny when he had tried to help her.

"Well, I'm thinking there's a marathon of movies and maybe some internet shopping." Kono shrugged.

"That sounds awesome. Did I tell you I need a new pair of shoes? Oh and I saw this really cool dress—" Melissa started, knowing the men would leave, it worked with the men in her taskforce, why wouldn't it work here?

She stopped midway through to glance at the men and saw their deadpan expressions, "We'll just let ourselves out, okay?" Danny started and the three of them didn't even wait for a reply.

"Well, if I would have known that was all it would take, I would have chatted incessantly from the start." Melissa commented smiling when Kono began laughing.

0000000000000000

"Why do you do it?"

Melissa pulled her attention away from her online shopping cart and tried to steady her breathing, Kono wasn't condemning her, she honestly sounded curious. "What do mean?"

"Why do you pretend to be this person…a criminal with a rap sheet longer than god knows what and all along you're…" Kono shrugged, muting the television.

Melissa raised an eyebrow, "The rap sheet helps me stay in character. I never know when a case can come my way."

Kono laughed rancorously, "So you mean that when you're not undercover you apprehend criminals and all the while Melissa Jones has a huge ass rap sheet…what if you got arrested on your days off?"

"Then it adds to my street cred and my sheet." She knew it didn't sound perfect and it wasn't, nor did she want to say that she loved her job. Who loved going undercover that at any moment someone could blow all that she worked for and kill her or the fact that hunting down violent criminals wasn't really all that it was cracked up to be. But it was what she had decided and what she had done, it was only right for her to lie in the mess of a bed she had created.

And it was the truth, if anyone were to look up Melissa Jones, they would find a mile long rap sheet and think she was in league with gangs, her name would pop up from the NYPD database as blacklisted on the suspicion of accepting bribes and the bureau would deny any knowledge of her. But it would take a very important, high ranking individual to find the real, unadulterated truth of who Melissa really was.

"You know, you could always settle down here and retire." Kono offered, hoping and praying that her friend's brain wasn't _that_ addled.

Melissa laughed sardonically, "I'm not even that old!" And then she realized her life expectancy in the Bureau's Apprehension Program was short, not including the undercover work which decreased her life span marginally as well. "I'll think about it." But Kono and Melissa both knew the moment Melissa released the words and made them concrete, no other thoughts would be given on the matter.


	4. The Silencing Dissonance

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**W**__e are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together... I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude. — Helen Hayes_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Four**

**The Silencing Dissonance **

Melissa stretched sensuously and enjoyed the feeling of living; it was comfortable and it was nice and quiet. She couldn't recall the last time she had slept so well and deeply; hell, she had slept in past noon. She was starving and she had the rest of the day free to do as she liked before leaving to pick up Kono.

She rolled out of bed and yawned widely, thinking back on the day before. Kono was lucky to work with such a dynamic and talented team; she might not like Steve's personality but she knew he was very good at his job. And damn him, she had spent half of the night tossing and turning, her skin over heating because of him. Chin was…well, Chin. He was polite, amusing and subtle. And then there was Danny. He was such a riot; shorter than her, though she was taller than most girls but man, he packed a punch. She understood why Kono liked him; oh, Kono never told her as much but she wasn't blind and she sure as hell wasn't stupid when it came to her best friend. She had seen the sly looks and stares when Kono thought no one was looking and she would bet her fortune that Danny liked Kono as well. They were a cute pair.

She spent the rest of the day familiarizing herself with her loft and where everything was situated. She now knew where everything was, though for the life of her, she couldn't find any medicine in the medicine cabinet. Proof, yet again that Kono was invincible.

Wearing nothing but cutoff jeans and a loose dress shirt, which she rolled up the sleeves to, she got in Kono's car and slowly began the trek to pick her up. She had asked last night what the taskforce did and Kono had grinned and replied with an, _"everything." _But Melissa finally got the truth out of her and she had to admit, it seemed Kono did do everything with the taskforce. Apprehension, murders, assassination attempts; it was all very impressive. Kono was lucky, if she went undercover she had the team's backing and she had landed a pretty staggering job, especially since she had just gotten out of the academy too. She was green but she was talented.

Melissa whistled as she parked her car across the street from the taskforce's headquarters; the building was impressive. She hadn't realized she needed clearing until a security guard moved away from the table in the corner of the lobby and loomed over her. She had reached for her badge and remembered she had left it in her suitcase, just as well. She was trying to keep whom she was hidden and unascertained. She pulled out her regular I.D and he nodded, telling her to go up to the seventh floor; Kono must have told him and for that, she was even more grateful to her friend.

The building was opulent; the Bureau's headquarters were clean and well, easy on the eyes. But this building bordered on frivolous, with what appeared to be marble flooring and the wood making up the doorways shined with almost an unnatural sheen. She got out of the elevator and saw across the long hallway, a huge office space; she had wanted to go and take a look inside to see how they were situated, it always fascinated her; to see how other taskforces worked. But then she realized with the amount of windows, if she could see them, they sure as hell could see her. So rather, she quietly walked towards the doors but sat down outside of them on the floor, she still had twenty minutes to go but she didn't mind waiting. She could definitely work on her patience.

"Are you serious?"

Melissa started, hearing a shout coming from inside the offices. She wanted to jump up and rush in to see what had made Kono shout but it wasn't her place. She was nobody here and she couldn't be more pleased about that.

"Listen…calm down Kono!" Steve loudly pacified. "You're important to us and we just wanted to make sure that she checked out."

Melissa dropped her head in her hands, and this is why she hadn't wanted anyone to meet her. Kono had promised she wouldn't be reprimanded for knowing a criminal but Melissa had spent more time with law enforcement to know how they really ticked. "You ran a background check on her?" Kono snapped.

"Yeah and let me tell you, its no wonder she can afford a place like that." Danny sardonically commented.

"There's three APBs out for her arrest. She's wanted in three states with charges like treason, conspiring with known ringleaders and even murder! I'm sorry Kono but we've got to arrest her." Steve announced.

"History?" Chin asked.

"She had a promising start, NYPD for a few years and then that's when it starts to go downhill. She was suspended under the suspicion that her and her partner were accepting bribes from crime lords and selling evidence—"

She heard Chin interrupt Steve by cursing loudly, "She left and has spent the rest of her time in cohorts with gangs and—" Steve tried again.

"Did you just say cohort?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that word?" Steve questioned.

"Oh, nothing…Martha Stewart." Danny retorted.

"Anyway, I'm sorry Kono, but we'll have to bring her in." Steve resolved.

Melissa quietly sighed and pulled out her phone when she felt it begin to vibrate, making sure to stay out of sight from the windows she opened the phone, "Jones."

"Where are you?" A male voice grumbled out in Spanish.

Melissa raised a sardonic eyebrow, "Careful, Summers. I might begin to think you like me. Listen, since I have you on the phone, can you do me a favour?"

She must have been too quiet for him since he began to sound urgent, "What's wrong? Do you need backup?"

Melissa shook her head, Summers was a scary son of a bitch. He was intense, quiet and above all else, she had seen him kill a man with one hand and hadn't even batted an eye. It was impressively…unnerving. But he was her superior and out of everyone in her life, she admired, respected and liked him the most. It didn't hurt that he was the only one whom she knew that spoke six languages fluently, just like her and had the annoying propensity to randomly change languages, mid-sentence. It was trivial, but it kept her amused and on her toes. "No, I need you to bail me out."

Summers swore, "I thought you said you were going to lay low. Is this you laying low?"

Melissa moved farther away from the windows, "Well, I can't help it if my friend's boss is…"

"An asshole?" _And handsome too, damn it, _Melissa bitterly added in her head.

"Look, you don't have to fly down here, just give him a call and tell him to let me go." Melissa explained. She knew there was no way around it; to save Steve and the rest of Kono's partners' prides, she had to get arrested. But damn it, she wasn't going to like it. And she was going to make sure she didn't stay longer than she had to.

She heard him curse over the phone, "If you would have let me finish, I'm right outside your apartment building."

Melissa started. She hadn't told anyone where she was going and she sure as hell hadn't told anyone that she had bought property either but this was Summers and being him, he probably even knew the hour she had been borne. "May I ask why?"

She heard a proverbial shrug in his voice, "I picked up a case I think you might fancy."

"Then bail me out and make it snappy." She rattled off the address and before she could terminate the call, he had already ended it. This was all part of her job and who she was. So she had to get arrested more times than she cared to admit, but it allowed her more leeway in the levels of hell and hey, if it made Kono's partners and boss feel better about themselves, then tie her up. Apathy, thy name is Melissa. She straightened her shoulders, glanced at the clock and nodded determinedly, all she had to do was keep her mouth shut, walk in the office and pretend she was stupid.

She walked towards the office and caught Kono's gaze as the other men still kept their backs to the doors. Kono shook her head feverishly but Melissa nodded sadly, she didn't want Steve to think Kono was harboring a wanted fugitive. She saw Steve follow Kono's gaze and zero in on her; he must have muttered quietly because a second later, Danny was opening the door for her with a stygian look in his eyes and Chin stood besides Kono with a slight frown marring his face.

"Melissa—" Kono warned but was interrupted by Chin when he gently pushed her back into her seat.

"Sorry I'm late…I just...slept in." She shrugged, trying not to feel like a caged animal. They were all surrounding her and she began to feel a slight itch she always got whenever she wanted to start throwing punches. But she wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"Have you ever heard of the Riverside Gang?" Steve asked quietly.

Melissa tried not to frown, a damn good-looking bastard like Steve probably got a kick out of being rude. But the Riverside Gang's emblem was branded on her arm; a brand that continued to cost her, her life and freedom. It had taken her a while to infiltrate the gang but with what the emblem had allowed her to do, whom it allowed her to help and save, it had been worth it for her to become the sacrificial lamb. "I think I watched something about them on National Geographic. Aren't they—"

"The worst gang in the American South?" Steve finished for her.

Danny moved away from the door to stand in front of her and she had to focus her eyes on him and not on Chin taking the vacated spot in front of the only exit, "Hey, I have a question for you, Melissa. Do you have a daughter?"

Melissa frowned, "No, why?" But she already knew where Danny was going with the question.

"Doesn't it bother you that you're a part of something that is not only okay with kidnapping and raping little girls but in fact, makes most of its dealings in child pornography rings?" Danny finished in a yell.

Melissa glanced at Kono and saw her blanch when she saw the truth burning in Melissa's gaze. This was why she never spoke about what she did, because she never wanted to see the acceptance and condemnation in her only friend's gaze. She had wanted to start yelling and give her defense; it was because of her that the child pornography ring was ripped apart, it was because of her that major leaders were now serving multiple life sentences and it was because of her that the children were free and had went back to their parents to begin the healing process.

But instead, she bit her tongue and let Danny spew his hatred. It reminded her of her last day in her superior's office when she was a police officer in New York; he had stood before her and accused her of terrible and horrible things, that time she had tried defending herself. But this time? She knew the point was mote.

"Book her, Danno. We'll keep her in the cell until we can contact Interpol." Steve quietly resolved.

She kept her eyes on the wall in front of her and kept her surprise well hidden. She couldn't believe how much being arrested hurt; sure, it wasn't her first and it probably wouldn't be her last time she ever got booked. But by the people she had actually began to thaw around, with Kono looking at her with something akin to…shame in her eyes? It hurt.

"Wait." Chin stopped, stepping in front of her and Danny.

She met his gaze, "Yes?"

"I don't know why I'm asking this but…did you accept those bribes?" Chin asked quietly.

"Don't waste your time on her, Chin." Steve remarked.

And whatever he had been about to say died on his tongue and Melissa allowed herself to be shoved towards a metal door by Danny. "Your room, your highness." Danny mockingly opened the door for her.

She didn't bother looking back; looking back would signify that she wanted to remember this moment and in part, it was good if she remembered this moment. It would allow her to strive and work harder in her profession and would prevent her from making the same mistakes again. That sometimes, individuals were safer in their self-made solitude than in a room full of delusions.


	5. Ruminations of Seclusion

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**W**__elcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else.__ —__Andre Gide_

_**AN:**__ Just wanted to say a huge thank you to all the readers, especially the ones that review. This chapter is for you. _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Five**

**Ruminations of Seclusion **

Melissa had never been good at keeping track of time though no one could fault her for losing her counting of minutes when there were no windows but concrete walls, a metal chair in the middle of the room and a steel door. She could scream as loud as her soul could bear, and no one would hear a thing. She just had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't her first and wouldn't be her last time she would be arrested, though she had to admit, this cell was more luxurious than some of the others she had been sequestered in.

At least they hadn't handcuffed her hands behind her back; in a small town in the middle of nowhere America, they had not only handcuffed her hands behind her back but had also handcuffed her ankles to the chair; the worst was the loss of sensation in her hands and the pinpricks afterwards when the blood began circulating in them again. Though Danny had pushed her rudely in the cell and told her not so politely to sit in the chair, she had given him her back with her hands locked behind her but he had just shaken his head. She hated to admit it, but even when he hated her, he was still a bit of a gentleman.

She sat in the cold silence and wrapped solitude around herself, the only comfort that had never betrayed her. She had wanted to be angry and rage against Kono, but she just couldn't bring herself to. She had always been tightlipped about her vocation, she never wanted Kono to be sullied or shamed because of what Melissa saw and did on a day-by-day basis. Kono never had to live with the ramifications of the job, but Melissa did. She lost sleep at night; being haunted by the guilt of all of her failings, she lost her appetite when she thought back to all of the starving children she had seen thrown in the middle of gang wars and she sure as hell could remember the feelings of utter depraved helplessness when she had been caught in the crosswire of a shoot-out and watched as innocence died.

If she didn't sacrifice her life to such a thankless job, then no one ever would and the streets would be over-run even more than they already were. Being altruistic sucked but it helped ease the guilt away sometimes. She heard the damning sound of the lock sliding out of place and blinked rapidly a few times as light shone in the room.

She straightened her back and ignored everyone but Summers strolling in the room, "Are you okay?" He asked in rapid Arabic.

She blinked a few more times, letting her eyes settle on her saviour, "This is becoming a bad habit of mine, letting you come in and save me. If I don't stop this, I might start to rely on you." Melissa retorted in the same language.

Summers lifted a sardonic brow and stared at Danny, not moving or replying until Danny bent to unlock and free her from the handcuffs. "Sorry." He muttered.

After sitting in the darkness for what seemed like years, being shoved and treated deplorably and shamed by her own best friend, she was going to be petty. Hell, petty was healthy under the circumstances. "What did it take to free me?" She asked in Arabic, keeping her eyes only on Summers.

He opened his suit jacket and pulled out something, "You're still wanted but not a priority. Your badge." He handed her, her Bureau badge and she raised an eyebrow, "Why do you think it took me so long to get here? And may I ask why you keep a very important document, one that you should carry everywhere…in the bottom of your suitcase?" He bit out harshly.

"You make the Arabic just roll off your tongue." Melissa retorted getting up and accepting her badge from him. She began to follow Summers out of the concrete hell when she remembered something. She turned back, ignoring a scowling Steve, a chagrined Danny and a very still Chin to settle her eyes on Kono. She disregarded the look of utter humiliation marring Kono's face and dug her hand in her cutoffs.

"Melissa—"

"I don't want to be accused of grand larceny." Melissa said quietly, pulling out Kono's keys and handing them to her. Kono's lip trembled and Melissa felt worse than scum of the earth. But she was hurt, tired and cranky. Kono could handle herself.

"Jones." Summers called out.

She pulled herself away from the situation at hand and turned around. She had a case to hear about and maybe if she was lucky, she could convince herself that her time in Hawaii meant nothing to her. It was the first time in a while that she walked out on something meaningful but she just couldn't bring herself to look at Kono and forget the look of accusation burning in her gaze. It would take a while for her to forget that…if she ever did.

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"So…are we going to talk about it?" Summers asked quietly.

Melissa pulled her attention away from staring stonily out of the window as things blurred by, "Where are you taking me?" She asked.

"I'm going to give you a case, dump you somewhere and check myself into the nearest hotel." He muttered pulling up to a park a block away from her place. She glanced questioningly at him, "I know how you like to decompress in the open after you've been locked up."

"Being locked up doesn't bother me." Melissa replied nonchalantly.

"Sure and the loss of freedom is no less cloying."

Melissa smirked, getting out of the car, "The case file?"

Summers reached behind his seat and extracted a brimming manila folder, "Here. I'll talk to you at oh eight hundred."

"Sure thing boss." Melissa closed the door behind her, ignoring the sound of parents consoling their children that they could come back tomorrow, that the sun was starting to lose its light and the sky was dimming. She ignored the sand, the smell of the ocean, everything but sitting down on a park bench and opening up the file. This is what she was good at, this is the one thing that she could always turn to that could make the nagging bitterness ebb.


	6. The Honorably Debased

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**E**__very man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.__ —__Martin Luther King, Jr._

_**AN: **__There are suggestions of very violent themes such as rape and abuse. Nothing of the former happens but the latter does occur. If you have a delicate disposition, please skip the bottom part of this chapter. Thank you for your understanding.___

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Six**

**The Honorably Debased **

Melissa closed the folder and leaned back on the bench, rubbing her eyes. No matter how many faces of suffering she saw, she was still afflicted with the basic emotion; sympathy. Summers had told her implicitly and explicitly that being sympathetic was a folly of hers, it cost her too much. But the way she viewed it, the moment she stopped feeling was the moment that she should consider retiring. She knew what she had to do and though she felt deprived of the sunny essence of life; a calm serenity settled into her bones at what she must do.

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number, "Summers."

"Its not oh eight hundred." He sounded groggy.

"I know but…I think it'd be better if I get started now. The more time passes…there's just too many variables." Melissa stretched out her legs. The nerves and anxiety would soon overtake her limbs and she'd run into action but for now, she had to let her superior in on her plans. He was her umbrella, especially after the storm hit.

"What are you thinking?" He asked and immediately Melissa knew she had him convinced she could do the job.

"It's a gang that gets its funding by utilizing a prostitution ring…" Melissa commented waiting for him to fully understand. The many other times she had been a part of prostitution and pornography rings, she had always worked alongside the dealers or the men, never as a prostitute. But she didn't have months to spare, this job was teetering and unstable.

"No. Absolutely not." Summers snapped a second later.

Melissa sighed, "It's the only way that I can infiltrate them quickly, especially if you want me to get all of the names involved. In and out, bam and I'll be done." 

"No, I'm not letting you whore yourself out."

"Look, the moment you handed over this folder, it became my case!" Melissa snapped back.

"But you're a federal employee, there's no way in hell I'll let one of mine become a—" Melissa knew if she didn't stop him mid-rant, he could go on for hours. And she was burning whatever was left of daylight.

"This is a small gang Summers!" Melissa grimaced hating the fact that she had to interrupt her boss, "Its comparatively small but extremely violent and dangerous. They are relying on this ring to get more money. And the more money they gain, they recruit more and the more recruits they have…and we have a full blown gang war on our hands." She spelled out.

Summers sighed, "At any moment, if you aren't comfortable with _anything_, you get the hell out. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't be snide."

Melissa chuckled, "Can you get rid of all traces of my ownership to the loft and any records of Melissa Jones here?"

Summers snorted, "It's almost too easy. I'll change the names and pack up everything at your place. You will cease to exist." And for once, the oblivion of going undercover sounded like heaven. She made sure to write down the address he would be staying at. It was time to get things rolling. She still had a lot to do.

She got up and walked a few blocks to a clothing store, there she could buy some revealing things to wear and show off the Riverside emblem. The ups to getting inked were that it showed others that she was a part of something and could be trusted. With all of the coverage the fall of the Riverside gang was gaining, she could easily use that to her advantage. When the gang was brought down, a few of the members had gone AWOL and weren't caught; she could simply be one of them.

She picked the most ostentatious and revealing dress she had ever laid eyes on and made sure to change into it before leaving the store. In her real life, she would never be caught dead in a skimpy piece of red flaming fabric and platform heels that were evanescent of stilts. She made sure to slip a twenty-dollar bill in her bra before going to the post office. Her and Summers had worked out a perfect system. She would send her entire wallet and ID to where he was staying and she would become another faceless, victimized nobody.

Melissa ignored the strange and slightly rancorous looks that flew her way as she boxed up her possessions and signed them away to be shipped. "Thank you very much." She nodded to the woman behind the counter. In response, she only got a grunt that sounded like the woman clearly did not want to associate with her. It was odd and annoying. The moment an individual would dress less than professional, a person wanted nothing to do with him or her. But if the individual were wearing a suit, anyone would gladly discuss trivialities. She turned on her heel and walked out.

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One of the things Melissa appreciated about Hawaii was that there were bars and pubs that were very accessible, it was so easy for her to slip into one and pretend to get blindingly, spitting drunk. When her and Kono had walked to the beach on her second day here, she had looked inside of a pub and noticed some men sitting in the back corner of the room; she had made sure to memorize every detail, especially the tattoo on their arm. It was the same tattoo in her case file and it was the same pub where she now was pretending to be inelegantly tipsy in her chair.

Her plan of attack was stupidly simple, pretend drunkenness, meet one of them and feign unconsciousness. "Are you here alone?" Melissa swayed in her chair, pretending to focus on the man's face. When she saw his tattoo peaking out from his shirt, her smile grew exponentially. _Bingo._

"Not anymore." She giggled unintelligently when he winked at her.

"I'm Davy." He grabbed a hold of her hand.

"Amber." She bit back a shudder and squeezed his hand suggestively.

She made sure to remember every nuance and detail of him, still pretending to drink. When she saw him quickly glance at his watch, she knew it was time for her Oscar performance. "It's really hot in here." She leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table and leaning against them. When his eyes zeroed in on her chest that seemed to almost be popping from her dress, she bit back a disgusted curse. "I think I need to go outside."

Davy nodded, "Yeah, fresh air will help."

Melissa stood up fast and swayed on her feet, "I'm not feeling so good." She made sure to stagger a few steps before she fell. Never in her life had she wanted a man to catch her more in that moment. And thankfully, disgusting Davy caught her before she could hit the floor.

She had experience in becoming deadweight and feigning unconsciousness and poor depraved Davy never expected a thing when he threw her in the backseat of his car. She had already memorized his license plate number and as he weaved through traffic, she kept her eyes slightly open and peeled to soak up substantial details.

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"What do we have here?" A woman's voice asked as Melissa after the car had slowed to a complete stop.

"A new one for you. I think Tommy will like her." Davy commented.

"Oh, she liked being knocked around?"

Melissa could hear the shrug in Davy's voice, "Never know if we don't try."

"All right. Take her back, I'll send Tommy in to test out the waters."

"Will do." Davy started the car again and began driving.

She was slightly worried, though this had been her idea. Her impatience once again had sowed too much. She had wanted to pose as a prostitute but she sure as hell hadn't _actually_ wanted to become one. She'd have to pull major miracles out of her hat if she wanted to come away from this unscathed.

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They had turned two right corners, three left and down a stair case with Davy carrying her in his arms. She filed away all of the details and focused her mind on the test to come. Every time she went undercover, gangs and rings always tested the newcomers. Sometimes she was beaten up, other times she had been cut and her worst, she had been branded like cattle; thankfully her tattoo artist back in Virginia was also a miracle worker and they had covered the scar on her thigh with an awesome piece of art.

She was unceremoniously thrown on a small bed, metal springs stabbing her in the back. She waited in terse silence before breathing a sigh of relief when Davy left, slamming the door shut behind him. She didn't let up her pretenses though, it was guaranteed there were cameras taping everywhere; it was how the Johns' picked out their favourites.

When she heard approaching footfalls, she started gradually thrashing, lightly enough that it seemed a transition from unconsciousness to conscious confusion. "So…you're awake." A voice commented from the doorway.

A quiet, deep voice that resonated of darkness and despite herself, Melissa shuddered, "Where am I?" She asked hoarsely, slowly opening her eyes.

"That's a good question. But I don't think I'll tell you." He closed the door behind him and Melissa got a good look at him.

If she thought Davy was built like a rugby player, Tommy had nothing on Davy. He was three times the size of her and if she survived this, she was definitely going to take Summers up on his offer of a long vacation. "Please…please don't hurt me." She stammered.

He began unbuckling his belt, "Oh, come on Amber. It'll be fun…for me at least. I love a strong tattooed woman." He pulled his shirt over his head and Melissa forced herself to squelch the very real fear and panic. She just needed to turn his sexual huger into rage, then she could handle him.

"I'm not that strong, honest. Please just let me go, if you do, then…" When he made a move towards her she kicked her foot against his reaching hand. "I'll scream."

Tommy bared his teeth, "I love a woman that'll scream."

Tommy fell on her and she began fighting and grappling him. She fought harder and landed a hard punch to his nose when she felt a string on her dress tear, "Bitch!" Tommy shouted as blood squirted from his nose. He straddled her hips and began pummeling her with his fists. Melissa blocked as many as she could but after a while, Tommy began to tire and her last conscious thought was of him spitting on her, and the deafening slam of the door as he stalked out.


	7. Cyclical Cataclysm

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**A**__ person, who no matter how desperate the situation, gives others hope, is a true leader.__ —__ Daisaku Ikeda_

_**AN: **__Thank you to the reviewers!__ Really! And this chapter will be the last of her captivity. So please, hang in there. _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Seven**

**Cyclical Cataclysm**

Melissa became aware of another presence kneeling by her bed and tried swinging an arm to take down whomever it was, "Calm down Amber!" A girl's voice enthused.

Melissa groaned, "Stop it, Kayla. That freaking hurts." She grudgingly bit out. Speaking had become harder for Melissa ever since her first night in hell, her lip had a constant split in it, the insides of her mouth was repeatedly cut up from being rubbed against her teeth. Her ribs were cracked and she was turning into a blueberry from all of the bruises.

Kayla had been the one light in this mess, she was one of the only girls whom hadn't taken a liking to becoming a prostitute and she regularly spent all of her free time with Melissa. The other girls had accepted and taken a liking to the gang lifestyle but Kayla hadn't. She had the bruised look in her eyes; one that Melissa was sure was in her own eyes. Kayla had been kidnapped, beaten, broken and yet, she still rebelled. Melissa respected her and it didn't hurt that Kayla repeatedly nursed Melissa back to consciousness.

"I don't know why you let them do this to you." Kayla commented, wincing when she saw the gash marring Melissa's arm.

"Hey…" Melissa coughed, clearing her throat of dry blood, "If they want to get off by beating me instead, then that's fine by me." And it couldn't have been more true. Tommy had it circulated around that she liked being beaten and men from around the island with a perchance for inflicting pain came to visit her. Not one of the men had tried sexually abusing her and if it meant a few broken bones and constant beatings, then she'd pay the price. She wasn't sure how much more she could take but she needed a little more time. She needed to find out whom the leader was.

"We have to get you moving before they see you like this." Kayla and Melissa both knew that if they saw her weakened they would continue to break her and they probably could, but she would die before that would happen. Kayla tried to sound excited but Melissa knew she was dreading it just as much. The young girl hadn't even seen her twentieth birthday and yet, she was more mature than most of the older girls in the ring. Every day she tried to remain optimistic for Melissa's sake and everyday it broke Melissa's heart. Melissa knew there was a light at the end of this tunnel, she allowed herself to hope but Kayla didn't. Kayla believed this would become their lives for however long they lived. She had more reason and more at stake than if it were just her life on the line. Melissa didn't care if the other girls found their freedom, they wallowed in the filth and they weren't locked up nightly like Kayla or Melissa. No, Melissa was more worried about Kayla than she was of even herself. She had nothing left but her work.

"Fine, help me get up." Melissa bit her tongue, holding back the loud, painful groan as she eased out of the bed with Kayla's help; she didn't want to make the other girl worried about nonsensical things.

"What are you going to wear?" Kayla mocked earning a laugh and a wince from her cohort.

"Hmm, I think shorts and a tank top." The next morning of her second day undercover Melissa had roused herself from the unconscious grasps of a concussion and found herself in just her underwear. An older woman had told her that she was only allowed to wear what was given to her. Only short shorts and skimpy tank tops but Melissa couldn't and wouldn't complain. At least she felt marginally better covered up away from the eyes of the pariah men.

Now that she thought more and more about it, Melissa had only seen the older woman once besides the time she had heard the woman speak to Davy on the drive to this compound. She never bothered to question the older woman's existence because at the time, Melissa had honestly believed only a man could perpetrate such heinous crimes on women. Maybe she was wrong. She made a mental note to ask about the woman. She needed the name, and the position of the woman for proof to justify her instincts.

"Hey Kayla." Melissa asked pulling on her clothing.

"Yes, Amber?" Kayla asked going around the room and trying to clean up the garbage littering the room. At least the other women's rooms were clean, hers and Kayla's rooms resembled a room from a crack house.

"Thank you." Kayla moved across the room and hugged Melissa back.

"Are we having a party in here?" Melissa and Kayla pulled apart; Kayla looking down at her shoes and well, Melissa was never known for her humility, feigned or otherwise. So instead of pretending to be scared, she glared at Tommy leaning in the doorway of her room.

"Oh, you've got a loose canon." Davy remarked from behind Tommy.

"Come on, we're going out." Tommy took two steps into the room, wrapped his fist around Melissa's wrist and dragged her behind him.

"We're not even supposed to leave—" Melissa asked, genuinely crying out when she felt something crack in her wrist.

"Stop, you're hurting her!" Kayla shouted, wrestling in Davy's arms.

"Shut your bitch up!" Tommy snapped to Davy.

"Tommy, you know Delia won't us taking the girls out." Davy commented.

"I'm tired of taking orders from that old…I need a drink and we're going out. Enough talking."

Melissa held Kayla's hand throughout the entire drive towards the bar where Melissa had first met Davy. She cradled her wrist to her stomach, it throbbed deeply but Melissa could have cared less in that moment. It had been five weeks of beatings and fear but it was worth the pain for the vindication to know that her instincts were right. If Delia really was the leader of the prostitution ring and Tommy and Davy were the two dense thugs making a gang out of it all, then damn; they had the underbelly of Hawaii shivering in fear and it was all because of three moronic idiots.

She let go of Kayla's hand and gingerly climbed out of the back of the large car, "You're so screwed." She mockingly threw in Davy's face. He frowned and shoved her towards Tommy.

"You will shut you mouth and do as I say." Tommy whispered in Melissa's ear, squeezing on her mangled wrist.

Melissa swam through the greasy black waves of pain, this would be the only time she'd be subservient. But the pain helped clear her head and the moment it did, her eyes zeroed in on one car she recognized, Kono's.

She didn't know what to do at that moment but years of training and experience taught her one thing, there were certain things that she could control and certain things that she couldn't. She could control her reactions and that was the best that she could do. She was dragged in the pub behind Tommy and she blinked against the sudden dim of the room, trying to settle her eyes on Kono.

By the time her eyes cleared, they zeroed in on a table near the front corner of the pub, and she bit back a string of curses when she realized that Kono had company. In the form of Steve, Danny and Chin. She was royally screwed. It would seem that her cover was precariously close to ending.

Kono shoved her chair away from the table and made a move to get up; Melissa forced her gaze to pass them, making sure her eyes didn't linger in recognition. Though she knew Tommy had caught the look of recognition in all of their eyes, he passed them without an acknowledgement. Steve and Danny looked like cops, they smelled like cops and to a thugs' point of view, they were dangerous.

The only comfort Melissa allowed herself was the memory of Steve's face; she refused to accept the reason why her heart tripped or the way her stomach dropped or even the warmth that evaded her limbs. She refused everything but that slight memento, a comfort in the coming hours. It would get worse before it got better and through the fires she'd be forced to walk through, she would remember his face and his voice to get her through it all.

"We'll have two beers." Davy ordered to the waitress.

Melissa counted to three hundred slowly; it was the only way she could ensure sufficient time passed before she could feign a bathroom run. "I need to use the washroom." Melissa commented staring at her swollen and most likely broken wrist.

Davy sighed, "Whatever, but Kayla stays here."

Melissa nodded, winking slightly to calm a nervous looking Kayla. The poor girl might not fully understand what everything meant but she could feel the tension radiating from the men, and that wasn't a good thought.

She got up slowly, ignoring the looks that were strewn her way as she gingerly limped to the woman's washroom. As soon as the door closed behind her, she turned two sinks on and began searching for something to write on. She settled for toilet paper and waited, leaning against the sink.

"Close the door." Melissa quietly ordered moving farther away from any prying ears.

"Mel—" Kono began stepping closer towards her.

She held up a hand, she had no time for this, "Don't. You have no idea what's going on. Do you have a pen?"

Kono frowned, pulling her purse open, "Here."

"Thanks. You have to leave now and pretend nothing ever happened." Melissa quietly resolved.

"No, I can't leave you. You look like you should be going to the hospital." Kono shook her head.

"Listen, I'm working. Just get out and we can talk later." The desperation leaked through her voice and Kono nodded, breathing in deeply trying to calm herself.

She began writing instructions on the toilet paper for Kayla; she wrote down a phone number and an emergency code that only Summers knew. She wrote down instructions on how to properly tuck and roll after jumping out of a speeding vehicle and then pulled out her twenty dollars folding it in the toilet paper for the young woman. She was her only hope to notify Summers and she knew Kayla would do whatever she could.

She straightened her shoulders and left the bathroom, wiping her good hand on her tank top. It was one of her first rookie mistakes, leaving the bathroom without any evidence of actually using the facilities. It had resulted in a broken arm and a few ribs but after that, she made sure to be as convincing as possible. She sat back down at their table and glanced at Kayla; though the girl didn't know that salvation was imminent, she was smart and asked to use the washroom. Melissa had started it all and knew it was now Kayla and Summers part to deliver.

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"Are you sure?" Kayla whispered to Melissa.

"Hey, shut it back there!" Tommy shouted.

Melissa nodded to Kayla and waited until the car slowly sped up, it was simple really. All she had to do was throw herself towards the front of the car, ergo creating a distraction and Kayla could escape. It sounded simple; it _was _simple but she was guaranteed a beating from within the inch of her life.

When the car began accelerated in speed, Melissa nodded to Kayla and threw herself at Tommy; hitting, biting, scratching and punching with all of her might.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Get her off of me!"

Melissa grappled with Davy and glanced in the review mirror; making sure Kayla had survived the tumultuous escape. When she saw Kayla trying to dust off the pebbles and dirt, she felt a moment of elation before another tidal wave of pain washed over her.


	8. Finite State of Entropy

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**A**__ mental stain can neither be blotted out by the passage of time nor washed away by any waters.__ —__Cicero_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Eight**

**Finite State of Entropy**

Melissa blinked past the fog of unconsciousness and tried rubbing her aching head. She made a slight pained noise when she realized she couldn't, her hands were restricted. Well, life was like lemons rubbing itself into the wounds of individuals. She didn't know how many hours had passed, all she could really focus on was the throbbing pain in her head that seemed to be resonating to her bones.

"Ah, I see you're awake."

She turned her head and focused on Tommy leaning back in a chair by her bed, "What do you want?"

"I think you know. Tell me what you said to Kayla. Who are you?" He asked getting up slowly in his chair to menacingly stand over her.

"Screw. You." Melissa spit towards his face.

He laughed wickedly, "I hoped you would say that."

Melissa tried her best to remain conscious in the ensuing minutes and maybe even hours. She tried blocking the blows but there was a limit any human being could take, fist after fist, and after a while, he began to get bored with just pummeling her with punches when she still refused to answer any of his questions.

Melissa squinted out of her eyes, he had been fair enough not to punch her too brutally in the face…if she could even call that fair. "Now, answer my question. Who are you?"

This time she didn't even wait for him to come near her, she spit blood towards him, "Amber."

Tommy began to shake his head, almost manically when Melissa heard the most beautiful sound in the world. The sound of her saviors coming, in the form of shouts and gunshots, "You set us up, didn't you? I'm going to kill you bitch!" Tommy yelled, his face turning a hue of deep red; Melissa watched in horror as he picked up a knife laying balefully on the floor.

Melissa fought against the impending fog and began trashing, unawares her blood began splattering all along the walls, an imbrue of her conviction to remain alive. She fought against her binds and ignored the burning pain in her lungs, "They'll get you." She hoarsely shouted.

"Like hell." She blinked, ignoring the blood seeping into her eyes, and saw a glint of metal. "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me." Tommy mocked.

"Freeze! FBI!" A glorious voice shouted. "Put the knife down and step away from the bed."

Melissa knew the minute she was freed from the ropes, she would jump up and hug Summers. She couldn't have been happier to see him. "You under arrest…"

"Oh my god, Melissa! Are you okay?" Kono stammered worriedly forgetting about everything around the room but Melissa as she stepped around a few agents tackling Tommy to the ground.

"Danno," Steve nodded towards Kono and shook his head.

Danny nodded his understanding, "Come on Kono, we still have to search the premises."

Kono glanced one more time towards Melissa and sighed, "All right."

Melissa thrashed when she felt unfamiliar hands hesitantly touch her wrists and for a second she whimpered a plea, still caught up in the very real nightmare of Tommy standing over her with a knife. "Shh, its okay sweetheart." A whiskey laced voice calmly poured over her.

In that moment, Melissa believed Steve. She would have believed him if only he could keep talking to her. His voice chased away the pain, it chased away the darkness and for one insoluble moment, she allowed her self the acceptance that he meant a lot to her. But tomorrow? She could lie to herself again.

"I've got you, just calm down, I've got you." He lifted her up gently, trying not to let his worry show.

"I hurt." She began to whimper every step he took which jostled her wounds.

"I know, we'll get you all patched up." Warmth seeped into her bones, eradicating the terror and the cold, replacing only languish tenderness. Any other day she would have never allowed herself that one moment of repast.

Melissa faded in his arms, letting herself for once enjoy the feeling of being taken care of, the security of his arms wrapped around her. She made sure to lock this memory away, the way he felt, the way he smelled and the sweet way he murmured reassurances to her as she let go.


	9. Unexpected Meetings

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**O**__nce you choose hope, anything's possible..__ —__Christopher Reeve _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Nine**

**Unexpected Meetings **

"The Bureau would like to extend its extreme." Summers extended his hand towards Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett.

Steve glanced down at the hand, for Melissa's sake, he peacefully took Summers hand and shook it briefly. "I would normally say it was my pleasure, but under the circumstances, that would be lying."

Summers stared into Steve's eyes measuring him, "Well, thank you just the same."

Steve nodded, watching the most uptight man he had ever met, besides Danny, walk to the elevator and stepped out of view. "Good riddance." Kono commented from behind him.

He nodded, rubbing his neck tiredly, "Chin." He quietly called, they had spent the better part of three days loitering and waiting outside of Melissa's room. The Bureau had her room under strict lockdown and no one but the doctors and nurses were allowed past the two very large guards.

"Yes, boss?" Chin asked. They all sounded weary and tired, only Danny had went home and that was because he had picked up Grace after school to spend the weekend with her.

"Go home and take Kono with you." Steve ordered turning back to face what was left of his team. They had bags a mile long under their eyes and it was pointless for all of them to remain there when she was only conscious every few hours.

"No. I have to stay for her." Kono vehemently shook her head.

Steve ran his hand over his short hair, he could use a shower and a few pots of coffee, maybe then he would start to feel human again. "How do you think she would feel if she saw you like this? You can't even stand on your own without support." Steve resolved seeing the acknowledgement flicker in her eyes.

"Chin, take me home." Kono quietly conceded, breaking the staring contest with Steve.

Steve watched as they too disappeared in the elevators of the hospital and unceremoniously fell into a very plastic, very uncomfortable chair. But he had been a SEAL before and had learned to ignore comfort.

"Earth to Steve." A little girl giggled waving a hand in front of his face.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Grace. He might bite your hand off." Danny commented dryly taking a vacated chair near Steve.

He rubbed his eyes and playfully winked at Grace, "When did you guys get here?" He hadn't realized he had been dozing, he must really be more tired than he had anticipated.

"You don't look so good." Grace commented, tilting her head to stare more intently in his eyes.

"Okay, I think its time for a coffee run." Danny commented sighing like an old man as he got up. "You stay here and make sure he doesn't do anything crazy, okay?" Grace rolled her eyes but nodded to her father.

"So, how was school?" Steve asked as Grace took a seat closer beside him.

The little girl made a sound, "You are going to ask me how school was when we're at a hospital and Danno won't even tell me why?"

Steve grunted, "We're visiting a friend. He'll take you home soon."

The little girl began to chatter and normally Steve would have absorbed everything she said, he liked her more than he would admit. She was the embodiment of innocence and everything he would die to protect but he was so exhausted. He hadn't been this exhausted in a while, since his father's death to be exact and he refused to admit to himself, refused to even acknowledge why he was more harried and worried over a woman he barely even knew. He could still remember how she looked, blood pouring from cuts and gashes, her face mangled but she had held tightly to him. It was burned in his brain how she had felt in his arms.

He closed his eyes, head resting against the cold sterile wall and let the incessant chatter of a little girl instill innocence in him.

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Melissa groaned, blinking past the pain in her head and the low throb resonating throughout her body. She hated gaining consciousness, it was just too damn painful and since she was alone in the hospital room, she let out a string of curses.

"You shouldn't say that, you could get in trouble if anybody heard you." A tiny voice from the corner of the room commented.

Melissa's heart sped up and she blindly glanced around her room until she saw a little girl in the corner, near the closed door, "How'd you get in?" She asked, taking in the appearance of such a cute small girl. She obviously was not from the sick ward, she was dressed as any healthy five or six year old would be.

The little girl shrugged and Melissa almost smiled, she was still a little girl but she was already beginning to resemble a little teenager in attitude. "What's your name?" She asked.

"Melissa. What's yours?"

The girl moved closer to the bed, still scrutinizing Melissa. She didn't answer until a few minutes had passed and she nodded. Seemingly pleased with what she saw, "Grace. You don't look so well."

Melissa watched wearily as Grace moved even closer until she was leaning on the bed; she had to watch herself against the little tyke. She was small but she was damn keen. "Who let you in?" She knew there was a minimum of two guards posted out of her door, how Grace snuck in was beyond her.

"They let me in." She shrugged again.

Melissa tried not to frown, "They simply let you in?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, look at me. Its not like I'm a wrestler or something." Grace shook her head sadly as if Melissa was beyond her help.

She couldn't help it but she laughed then began coughing as the pain swarmed her, "Do you need me to get the doctor?" Grace asked worriedly moving towards the door.

"No. No. I'm fine. I swear." She hoarsely drew out. She enjoyed Grace's company.

"All right…what do you want to do?" Grace asked finally sitting on the bed.

"I don't know…I've never…" Melissa stammered.

Grace nodded, "Be right back."

Melissa watched the girl run to the door and after struggling a few seconds with its weight, she threw it open and passed through the door, closing it loudly behind her.

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"Steve! For god sakes, man! Wake up." Danny shook Steve trying not to panic. Whom was he kidding? He was having a meltdown.

Steve blinked a few times, clearing away the fog, "What? Where's Grace?" He looked around and felt his stomach fall. He got up, pushed Danny away from him and looked towards the guards.

"I can't believe I let you watch her. What was I thinking? Oh, I know, let's let crazy Steve watch my daughter!" Danny began earning an eye roll from Steve.

"You're such a drama queen. She couldn't have gone very far." Steve hoped. He looked towards the two guards, "Which way did she go?"

One guard swallowed, "Inside."

Danny started, "Inside? What do you mean inside? Inside the room? You let my little girl inside a room with a woman that looks like—"

Danny stopped mid-rant when said door was thrown open and his Grace was standing in the doorway looking supremely elated, "Danno, can you get me a pack of cards?"

Steve blinked, why was he surprised? Danny began stammering angrily at his daughter, and before he knew it, he was grabbing his ribs in mirth as Danny's face grew redder. One of the guards looked down at Grace and Steve could have sworn that he saw the burly man wink at her.

"Come on, Mel is waiting." She kicked her foot lightly on the ground.

Danny finally composed himself, "Okay, okay. Calm down." He looked towards Steve imploringly.

"No, you get them. I'm staying here." In part, Steve was too damn amused to want to ruin the moment and if he hadn't left this exact hallway in three days, he sure as hell wasn't leaving now. And he refused to admit to himself why.

Grace sighed looking at the nice man that had let her in earlier, "Billy-bean, do you have a pack I can have?"

The guard named Billy sighed, he was never going to live down Billy-bean but the damn girl had him wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. She was dangerous. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the cards, "I want them back." He quietly commented.

She nodded gravelly, grabbing them from him, "When we're done." She turned around and barely acknowledged the men as she went back into the room, "Melly, we've got cards! Can you teach me how to play poker?" She asked closing the door on Danny's outraged stammering and Steve's laughter.

"If she teaches my daughter—" Danny threatened falling into a plastic faded orange chair.

Steve rolled his eyes, "She's not going to teach Grace poker. You're such a drama queen."

Danny sighed, "I don't know where she gets her energy from. Like the freaking Energizer Bunny."

"I don't know, you Williams' pack a punch." Steve ignored Danny's retort and closed his eyes, letting his mind wander about what Melissa and Grace could possibly have in common.

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"So then I told him, no, I don't even like him!"

Melissa smiled despite her bruised face, "Did you sucker punch him?"

Grace shook her head sadly, "Danno wouldn't like it."

Melissa dropped her hand of cards, "Wait…what?" She thought she had heard Grace right but…oh, Danny would probably kill her for sequestering Grace away from him. "Is Danny your dad?"

Grace nodded sagely. "Then why are you here? He brought you to the hospital?" Melissa tried to temper down her outrage but she couldn't. She was appreciative of the fact that Danny had come 'visited' but she would have understood if he didn't because his daughter was in his company.

"We were supposed to go to the aquarium and out for dinner—hey! You can't get up, you're supposed to stay there!" Grace tried shoving Melissa back in bed.

But Melissa wouldn't have any of it, "Your dad isn't my biggest fan already and now he'll probably come after me with a gun for kidnapping you." Melissa threw the blankets off and slowly eased herself to her feet, making sure not to jostle her wrist enveloped in a cast overtly much.

Grace steadied her when she began to waver on her feet, "Come on, Grace, you're leaving to spend time with your dad. You don't need to hang out with a decrepit."

"Decrepit? I'm having fun." Grace stood in front of her, a frown marring her little face.

Melissa shook her head, "You're trouble."

"I'm not moving."

Melissa uttered a long suffering sigh, "Fine, next time I see you, we can do something. Okay?"

"Promise?" Grace reached out, extending her pinky.

Melissa knew she shouldn't promise anything to the girl, but damn, that girl had her wrapped up around her little finger and she knew it. "Fine." They pinky swore and Melissa slowly walked Grace to the door.


	10. The Decisions in Celerity

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**N**__othing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.__ —__ Napoleon Bonaparte_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Ten**

**The Decisions in Celerity**

Melissa reached for the doorknob ever mindful of her wrist enrobed and sculpted in white plaster, "Come on, can't we play one more game?" Grace asked for what seemed like the hundredth time from behind Melissa.

When Melissa threw a deadpan look over her shoulder, Grace sighed hugely, "I still don't understand why I have to go."

She didn't understand, how could anyone really understand? Melissa didn't really understand it all, either. How could she ever understand the constant need to want to fix other people's lives? The constant urge to try to make everything better for others? A damn altruistic curse, she knew but she couldn't change. And did she really want to?

"Come one, Gracie. You'll thank me for it later." Melissa commented before wrapping her fist around the cold metal handle; she heard a harrumph from behind her and had to force herself not to laugh. She didn't want to incur the wrath of _that _child. If she was anything like her father, than by god, she had more to fear than the boogeyman.

"About damn time." She heard Danny's voice comment as the door swung open. She bit back a rude retort; after all, she had a young child to think of—

"Bite me, Danno." A young voice chirped from behind her.

If one of her eyes hadn't been swollen shut and the other not ringed with cuts, Melissa's eyes would have fallen out of her head. Just the same, she settled for a laugh that ended in a fit of coughs and gasps.

All at once, chaos erupted. Grace began shouting at her dad for ruining her new best friend, Billy-bean, bent down at the waist so he could try to console the poor, upset girl. Danny took offense and began berating Billy that he knew what he was doing; he was a father and not a nonsensical guard.

Melissa's eyes watered as she felt a warm hand wrap itself around her elbow, "Shh. Your okay. Just breathe, in and out. Here, breathe with me." The warm chocolate voice enthused as he began exhaling and inhaling slowly.

Melissa felt Steve move closer to her and if she hadn't been winded, she would have pushed herself out of his arms. But for once, she let herself be comforted, cocooned in the warmth of a man's arms, let his worry seep into her cold, achy bones. It didn't help that he smelled great and felt fabulous…but that wasn't the point.

Steve pulled away from her, making sure he still was holding her elbow. She could fall over at anytime, he reasoned. Though he refused to acknowledge the real reason as to why he wanted to keep touching her. He glared at the chaos around him, "Enough!" And with the voice of Zeus, the chaos quieted. "Danno, take Grace away. This is no place for a child."

Danny threw a black glare Steve before nodding towards Melissa, "Get better."

Melissa nodded, accepting the cool solicitor statement. It was all she received, it was more than she had hoped for and it was the most he would ever give her. Melissa accepted the hug from Grace and tried to keep along with all of the chatter, but she was exhausted and slightly annoyed.

She didn't know what she was more annoyed at, the fact that Steve was now acting friendly with her, the time with Grace exhausting her or the grueling walk across her room. She was an agent for the Bureau, she wasn't weak but suddenly, it became work to forcefully keep herself on her feet. _Blame the damn injuries and drugs they're pumping me up with, _Melissa thought drowsily. She could get angry with Steve another time. She swayed a little, letting herself be held more firmly in his arms and let her eyes flutter shut. She didn't even bother examining the very alarming fact that for the first time in a long while, she actually felt safe in someone's arms and knew without a doubt that he'd take care of her.

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Melissa stretched her free arms, letting the lulling, drugging feel of sleep slowly ebb from her bones. It was a sad state when the only time she actually got to relax was when she was locked away in the hospital. Slowly, as not to shock her eyes, she let the light filter in, and took in her surroundings.

Her heart did a little pitter-patter when she saw a slumped figure sitting next to bed, one of his hands resting near hers. As if, when he was conscious, he had been holding her hand. She made sure that his eyes were still shut before she hedonistically indulged in something she would normally never be caught in the act of. Staring unabashedly. She watched as his chest rose and fell with each quiet breath and damn if she didn't know how sculpted he felt. Yes, she was injured and refused to even think about her feelings but she was still a woman. A rusty, self-denying one, but a woman no less.

His hair a rich chocolate chestnut that made her fingers itch with the need to run their way through the richness; to feel the tendrils through her fingers. It was all disgustingly hedonistic. She glanced down and studied his hand. Sculpted in the way that every man would be envious of and all women would lust over and it was stupid for her to ponder. But it was true; he had great hands.

Glancing up at him, to make sure his eyes were still closed and his breathing leveled, she felt a little at ease for what she knew, consciously and subconsciously she had wanted to do from their first meeting. Feeling the steady pounding of her heart washing away her logical nerves, she reached out and acted on a moment's weakness. She gently touched his golden hand, and if it was damnly possible, even his hand felt better than she imagined. And she stoically refused to contemplate why she was even sharing her imagination with him. Feeling bolder at his lack of consciousness, she outlined every one of his fingers indulgently; too preoccupied to have noticed his stilled breathing.

"Does the FBI know you take advantage of sleeping men?" A deep, whiskey voice drawled.

Melissa froze, hand still covering his, she glanced up and caught Steve staring intently at her before remembering herself. She ripped her hand away, ignoring the almost cold bereft feeling she was left with and cleared her throat. She refused to appologize, it would have meant she was wrong and her pride wouldn't let her. She settled for a shrug instead and tried to hold back a wince in consequence.

Steve frowned darkly, "I would think playing the Martyr is a little unimaginative." He said accusingly and Melissa knew without a doubt what he'd been referring to. Her job, her life…everything she was.

Melissa frowned, ignoring the pain, "What the hell are you talking about?" She growled out, feigning ignorance. It was always easier to side with ignorance than accept the truth; easier but no less contemptible. 

Steve shrugged nonchalantly, "Has it ever occurred to you that there are people in the world that care about you?"

"What?" Melissa asked laughingly, she knew Steve wasn't in that category and Kono…well, her personal life was on the backburner right now.

Steve opened his mouth to retort when the door of the hospital room opened and a pudgy nurse came bustling in, "I'm sorry to interrupt but I've got strict orders to come in every hour and make sure Melissa is fine." She commented, going through all the tubes hooked up into Melissa and checked all of the monotonous beeping monitors.

"Whose orders?" Melissa asked knowingly.

"A lovely man named Summers." The nurse replied, earning a very unladylike snort resonating from the bed.

Steve glanced at Melissa and she recognized the question in his eyes, Summers and her…they had a one-of-a-kind relationship. Borderline friendship-brotherhood, though neither of them would ever admit to such a travesty. And why should Steve care? He had been nothing but a judgmental proverbial thorn in Melissa's side, a demagogue that she couldn't even hate because…she was starting to feel a flutter in her stomach whenever she thought of him. No, it wasn't possible. She couldn't be that stupid…could she?


	11. Deciphering the Scribbles

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

_Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.__ —__ Emily Dickinson_

And to all the new/old and still with me (and for those that reviewed), I have to apologise and hope the next few chapters make up for my absence. 

**Chapter Eleven**

**The Arduous Task of Deciphering the Coded Scribbles on Our Hearts**

"What do you mean, you don't regret anything?" Steve asked, leaning closer to Melissa as he snagged her Jell-O away from her.

Melissa exhaled, ignoring the fluttering in her stomach when he had moved closer to her, "What I'm saying is that, I think it was all worth it. If no one wanted to do the dirty work, then the world would succumb to filth."

Steve stared at her, ruminating what she had said as he slowly chewed the bright cherry Jell-O; he would never admit otherwise, but he enjoyed her company. Since his father had died, he seldom enjoyed anyone's company, and sometimes; he didn't even enjoy his own. But with Melissa, he felt lighter, brighter; when he was with her, he felt like the luminescence outshone the darkness. He didn't know why and he sure as hell refused to wonder.

He watched her worriedly as she threw the covers off and on doe like limbs, stood up, "What are you doing?"

Melissa shrugged, ignoring his piercing gaze; if she looked in his eyes, she'd surrender. And she never surrendered. "I'm going stir crazy. If I don't do something, I'm going to go insane."

And so she began to walk around the room, pushing aside the delicious weight of his gaze and settled for the protesting aches from her healing wounds, "Don't outdo yourself now." She heard Steve warn. But she ignored him. If she didn't occupy herself, she'd start to throw chairs around and make the Jerry Springer show look tame or do something really stupid…like sit on Steve's lap. Not that she'd ever do that…it was ludicrous, preposterous and very dangerous. And it sounded oh so heavenly.

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"You have a someone here to see you." Melissa tore her gaze away from the magazine she had been reading for the tenth time in the past few days she had been locked in the hospital and sighed. She refused to regret sending Steve home, they were getting too close for her liking and if she were being stupidly honest, she was feeling a deep pull when around him. And he smiled too often with her for her liking; his smile was more lethal than a box of dynamite.

She cleared her throat and looked at the nurse she dubbed Thatcher, "I thought there were explicit orders that I was to be contained…?" She baited, knowing Nurse Thatcher would agree with protocol.

The nurse shrugged, "Apparently they were slackened because there aren't anymore guards outside your door. Do you want to see her or not?"

And at that moment Melissa died.

She didn't care or even bother to wonder why the rules had changed or the fact that the guards had left or even the sad fact that she was already missing Steve…and that he hadn't been gone long. No, she was focused on the verity that Kono was here waiting in the hall to be admitted past the nurse.

Melissa tried calming herself but it was too late, the memory of Kono turning her back away from Melissa, of Kono's look of shame in knowing that her friend stood with the gangs that…it would be mote to worry about the past. She had to move forward. And if Kono came here to spew hatred, then she would do as she had done in the past. Accept the wounds and move along. It was the only way she knew how to survive.

"Yeah, I'm ready." _Or as ready as I'll ever be_, Melissa thought nervously. It was ironic, she was more worried about what Kono would say and feel than when she was almost killed by Tommy.

She threw the magazine aside in disgust and fixed the sheets covering her battered legs, it gave her something to do. Melissa's heart began to painfully pound when Kono walked into the room and a warm greeting almost tumbled past her lips that she held it at bay. She loved Kono as her own kin but this time? She couldn't possibly forget the wrong done to her and she sure as hell wouldn't let Kono off easy either.

Kono pulled the absent chair closer to the bed and settled herself into the frame, barely making any eye contact with Melissa. She wanted to shout, to scream, anything to get Kono to meet her eyes.

She sighed and pulled her attention to the wall facing her, letting the disappointment seep into her bones. "I…I want to apologise." Kono began, swallowing her nerves back down.

Melissa turned her head to face Kono, "Look me in the eyes and say it." It was callous and it was harsh, but she needed there to be only truth and reality between them from this point forward. And if Kono couldn't face it…then Virginia would be her only home.

"I…I don't know why I didn't believe you!" Kono bit out, struggling to hold back her tears and failing miserably, "I believed Chin immediately and you…I failed you."

Melissa swallowed roughly, "Kono…"

Kono held up her hand, "No, let me finish this. I just accepted the slander against you and let them lock you away…let you get into this mess!" She motioned to Melissa's wounds. "I'm just so sorry."

She reached out and grabbed Kono's hands before she could cover her face in shame, "Listen to me. I did this because I wanted to. Everything I ever did was because I believed in it; so don't give me that nonsense about me accepting this case because of you. I love you Kono but honey, I still would have done all this without you in my life." Melissa finished kindly, waiting for Kono to compose herself.

"But…you still want me in your life right?" Kono asked hesitantly and Melissa's heart broke. She had only seen Kono this confused and desolate before and though her knee injury had cost her dearly, she had still been strong. But this time, what had it cost Kono?

"What time do you want to go for lunch when Nurse Thatcher releases me?" Melissa grinned.


	12. Silent Lies

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. __—__ Tad Williams_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Resounding Babel of Silent Inward Lies**

"You know, you didn't have to come and pick me up." Melissa commented throwing a frown over her shoulder.

"And who would have picked you up? Kono?" Steve uncrossed his arms and glanced at his watch, "because she's working now."

Melissa tried to ignore his tanned biceps bulge as Steve crossed his arms, or his damn honeyed voice and how good it sounded in the morning or that morning-tussled hair suited him very, very well…what was she saying? She was ogling him and she felt like an idiot.

Melissa had stayed in the hospital healing longer than she would have liked and Steve had been there for most of her stay. Hell, he had set up his own campground in her room and both of them refused to broach the subject. Even thinking about his reasoning behind his motives scared and pleased her…she just wasn't sure which one won out.

"Which is where you should be as well…right? I mean, last time I checked you were still the boss." Melissa winced as she watched him try and fail miserably as he folded his clothes. Crumpling being the proper term.

Steve shrugged nonchalantly, giving Melissa a broad grin, "Yeah but as you said, I'm the boss." Melissa huffed, ignoring his grin; "Anyway, I didn't want _Summers_ to have to come all the way down here to pick up your sorry butt."

She bit back a grin and quirked an eyebrow, had she ever heard Steve use such a sarcastic voice before? Was he jealous of her and Summers? No, he couldn't be. He probably was just…being the considerate and kind bastard that he always was. Damn it.

It was Melissa's turn to shrug nonchalantly as she zipped up her overnight back and sat on the bed facing him, stretching her already sore legs out in front of her, "Don't worry about Summers. He just left my place and is now on his way back to Virginia." Melissa glanced at the clock and nodded. Being Summers and already a pretty stubborn bastard, he had become even more stubborn and unwilling to bend for Melissa's wounded self. He had refused to go back to Virginia and would have stayed at some damp, kitschy motel if she hadn't put her foot down, it wasn't as if she was using her place and plus, knowing Summers…he'd probably have the entire place looking spotless. Which suited her very, very well.

Steve grunted trying to ignore the edge of uncertainty, the bite of confusion and the sting of jealousy…did he just say jealous? No, he couldn't be, he was probably just tired. He'd catch some sleep after work today and all of these feelings would be chalked up to lack of sleep. "He was staying at your place? That's…nice of you."

Melissa covered her smile with a slight cough, "Yeah, I figure it's the least I could do." Hell, she had to be honest; she was enjoying his discomfort and his very _subtle_ questions. She couldn't remember the last time a man acted the way Steve was and damned if she wasn't going to enjoy it. She just wouldn't read too much into it. He was probably tired and lest she forget, he was Kono's boss.

Steve dumped his stuffed overnight bag besides hers on the floor and sat alongside her on the bed, leaving a few inches between them, though to Melissa? She still felt the heat radiating off of him, "The least you could do considering…?"

And she knew that now, Steve had now become boss Steve, wanting to sniff for more details on her less than stellar past, "Considering that he has a tendency to save my ass all the time, or that he has bailed me out of hell more times than I can count. Or maybe that when no one else ever believed me and wanted to lock me up and throw away the key…his support and faith in me has never wavered. Got to respect someone like that." Melissa finished realizing that she really did owe quite a bit to Summers. Sure, they ribbed each other all the time and they were constantly at war to see who could confuse the other by switching languages constantly when they spoke. But at the end of the day? He has been her one constant in a life of variability.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each one of them surrounded by their own thoughts and ruminations. Steve wanted to argue his case, that at the end of the day, even when he knew she should be locked up, he hadn't wanted to do it. In fact, he had gotten Danno to arrest her because he knew that he never could. He had given the orders but hated himself for it. He wanted to confess to her that maybe, just maybe he supported her, even when he didn't really know her. But she'd ignore the comment and he would never let someone in again, especially after his father's death.

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"Don't touch the radio." Steve ordered, not even bothering to tear his focus away from the road.

Melissa snorted, "I wouldn't have to touch it if you actually played real music…I mean, c'mon buddy. Ever heard of a really great genre and one that I'm quite partial to…classic rock? No?" She smiled sarcastically at him and reach out to touch the radio knob.

And her hand was slapped away by Steve before she could even reach the dial, "What did I just say? My car, my rules."

"What? No, the passenger is always right. I'm your freaking guest!" She rubbed her hand, he hadn't slapped hard but her hand still tingled from where he had touched her. Gods, this was getting out of hand. Maybe if she were back in her own element then everything would right itself again.

Steve snorted, "No, it really doesn't work that way. I think all that hospital time addled your brains. You really don't listen to orders that well either."

"Your not my boss." _Not my boyfriend, lover, friend…not my anything_, Melissa thought and she knew as soon as the words hit the air between them, she shouldn't have said anything at all. Though everything was true, he had no right in her life to pretend or act like he cared, he was simply a very courteous person and somehow along the way, they had both forgot that they were nothing to each other. Sure, she felt something and she hoped Steve did as well but they could never be and he was probably just a really kind person.

They both sat in silence and for the first time since she had first met him, this silence was the most painful for her. Before when they lapsed into silence, it had been mutual and quite comfortable but this time? It was the resounding silence of guilt, shame, remorse, self-deprecation and the truth; that both were lying to themselves.

As soon as Steve slowed the car down and parked in front of her place, Melissa deftly got out of his car and reached over the back seat to grab her bag, "Thank you again for doing this."

He grabbed her bag with one hand and with the other grasped her elbow and pulled her along, "Don't worry about it. I'll walk you up to your place and make sure you get in fine."

She allowed herself to be herded inside and towards the elevator, but kept a tight hold on her wayward thoughts. She wasn't a child anymore where it was okay to daydream the hours by and she sure as hell didn't believe in fairytales. Steve was a nice gentleman and that was it. She dug her hand in her pocket and pulled out her keys, "I mean it, you didn't have to do all of this, and I could have done it myself."

He snorted, crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes upward, "I swear, just take the damn help once in a while, okay?"

She smiled and stepped into her place, taking her bag away from him, "Okay, thank you very much for the help Steve."

He leaned closer, an inscrutable look marring his face, "Say it again."

She reared back slightly, "What? Thank you? Umm—"

"No, my name."

She swallowed, her nerves and confusion threatening to boil over, "Why?"

Steve's eyes flickered over her healed but still bruised and scabbed face to stare intently into her eyes, "Because I don't think I've ever heard you say my name before."

Melissa licked her lips and pulled her eyes away from his intense gaze, missing his swallow and the trail his eyes followed as he watched her lick her lips, "Sure, I've said it before…haven't I?"

He shrugged and waited; the way he saw it, he could stand there all day and watch her, it didn't bother him that he was extremely late for work or that he was tired. He was going to wait until she said his name; it was as simple and as complicated as that.

Melissa swallowed, so very unsure of herself, "Thank you, Steve."

They stared at each other and for a screaming second Melissa was sure he leaned closer to her, his gaze flickering to her mouth. But when he pulled back, whatever was between them ripped apart and she watched as he nodded and turned away, walking towards the elevator.

She swallowed her nervous and her shock, closing and locking the door behind her, "What the hell was that about?" She asked aloud, leaning against her door for strength.


	13. Twisted Laughter and Broken Dreams

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O, The A-Team or anything you recognize from it. _

_**N**__ot all those who wander are lost__—__J.R.R. Tolkien_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Twisted Laughter and Broken Dream Catchers **

After the fiasco from the morning, the exhaustion from her little excursion home and the emotional strain, Melissa was exhausted. Her plan had been to shower and fall into bed but instead, she fell on her couch and decided that a shower would be a great idea after her nap.

Steve hung up the phone and threw it on the counter, disgusted with himself and with Danny. He couldn't believe the mistake he almost made and he was slightly pissed that he had spent so much time with her, forgetting work and forgetting about everything else. Danny had enjoyed mocking him when he had called to tell them that he would be by later in the day and any other time, he would have given as good as he got but he just couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and shut out all of the emotions. He stumbled into his bedroom, threw off his pants and shirt and fell into bed, trying desperately to hold thoughts of _her_ at bay.

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After a long shower and even longer to change into shorts and a tank top, Melissa was seething, disgusted and quite bitter. She used to be at the top of her health and now? Showering and dressing had exhausted her; there was no way she was going to cook in this state. She'd just go out for food.

She was disgusted at the way she fawned over Steve and closer towards the end, she didn't bother hiding it, and how could she be so stupid? How could she be so freaking transparent? And damn Steve for being so damn good looking, with his stupid rich chocolate hair and his stupid whiskey honeyed voice and his damn clear green eyes and his damn smile and his damn laugh…damn, damn, _damn. _

The point was mote, she could fight and pretend she was unaffected but the truth was, she was more affected than she had ever been in her life. What was wrong with her? No, she had to leave; go for walks…do anything but staying confined within four walls was enough to drive anyone towards delusions. Steve probably hadn't even tried to kiss her; he had probably just making sure she didn't have a concussion or something. She grabbed her loft keys, badge, and a few other items, throwing them in her bag and slammed the door behind her. Fresh air always did her good and she refused to let her mind torment her any longer.

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Melissa wasn't aware how long she had been walking for, all she knew was that she was sweating, out of breath and very tired. Which made her mad as a hatter; she knew it always took her a while to get her strength back after a stint in the hospital but nevertheless it still shocked her.

She pulled her phone out of her bag and hit speed dial, waiting to hear her friend's voice, "Kono."

"I'm outside your building now and I haven't eaten anything since last night." She glanced at the clock on the building and nodded, it was half past noon so she didn't feel so bad demanding Kono's company for lunch. Work meant more to them than anything but Steve wasn't an unfair boss, a slave driver sure but he wouldn't prevent Kono from going for lunch.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and began pacing, it was hotter than hell outside and her limbs were still tired from her mini adventure. She heard a laugh behind her and turned towards the entrance of the building, her heart stopping in her chest. She glanced lightly at Kono, raising her eyebrow slowly.

Kono shrugged, "I tried but they wouldn't listen to me, they don't really know the meaning of 'no' ".

Melissa watched warily as Danny, Chin and Steve trailed behind Kono, "You know…maybe this isn't such a good idea. I am really tired." She whispered under her breath to Kono.

Kono reared back slightly, eyes flickering all over Melissa's face, "This is the first time you've ever back down…I'm sorry, you're probably right. You just got back from the hospital."

She bit down on her lip swallowing her guilt back, their friendship had taken a great deal of beatings within the last month and someone had to give, it might as well be her. "No, you're right. I've been cooped up for so long, I'm just not used to all this fresh air."

Melissa grasped Kono's hand as the trio sauntered over, "Should you be in the sun? You look terrible." Danny commented.

Kono squeezed her hand, "She looks better than you do."

Melissa snorted and tripped after Kono as the girl pulled her along, "Where are we going?"

"There's this great ice place and near by they have a small little diner that I think you'd love." Kono threw over her shoulder.

"Cus, you should ease up. The way you keep pulling her arm, she's probably going to have to get it amputated." Chin called out.

"All of you are all such comedians." Steve muttered and regardless of the fact that he hadn't once looked at Melissa and was probably ignoring her, she had to bite back a smirk.

Immediately Kono slowed down her stride and walked along side them, talking quietly amongst Danny and once again, leaving Melissa to fend off Chin and Steve. In the deepest darkest recesses of her thoughts, Melissa was deplorably happy to see Steve. In fact, she felt lighter and more jovial than she had since she last saw him. But she was more than slightly annoyed that he was ignoring her, especially since she was so happy to be in his company. Something was going terribly awry and she didn't have the slightest clue how to fix it.

"Melissa?"

She shook her head to clear away the foggy thoughts of punching Steve in the face so he could finally look at her and glanced questioningly at Chin, "Sorry…was stuck in my head."

He nodded understandably, "You're looking pretty good."

She laughed sarcastically, "Considering how I looked the last time you saw me?" He grimaced slightly and she took pity on him; even if he didn't like her, she always had something akin to silent respect and admiration for Kono's cousin. "I've had worse hospital stints, this was like a mini vacation for me." She admitted nonchalantly.

She glanced at Steve in her peripherals and felt a surge of satisfaction when she saw a dark frowning marring his face, "You mean…this was a freaking vacation for you? Well, I'm glad you're enjoying your stay." Danny scoffed.

Melissa frowned; out of the three men, Danny had always been the most welcoming when they had first met and considering how Danny was rude to everyone, it was meant a lot to her. But now he was acting every bit of a jackass and she refused to grab his bait. "Yes, thank you for making my time so welcomed and warm, Danny." She retorted.

"Okay children, be nice, we're in public." Kono pacified.

Melissa pasted a smile on her face when she saw a heavier set man standing behind the bar in a little hut with a worn sign over his head, _Waiola Shave Ice. _He squinted his eyes at her and she knew the moment he recognized her tattoos, was the moment he froze.

"Hey, Kamekona. I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Mel—" Kono began pulling her closer.

Melissa stuck her hand out, "Lynch." She announced interrupting Kono and daring anyone to question her aloud. It was something she had learned from Summers and during her time when she worked alongside some Central Intelligence Agents; to take on an uninteresting safe name that many agents she knew all used interchangeably. It also didn't hurt that right now…she should be laying low.

He stuck out his hand and grudgingly shook it, "If you're friends here with my gal, then its nice to meet you."

She shook his hand and turned slowly towards Kono, a huge grin splitting her face, "His gal? Well, Kono, you never even told me!" She turned back to Kamekona and smiled, "So…how long have you two…been _pals_?"


	14. Paradigm Shifting Miscalculations

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**I**__ have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.__—__Umberto Eco_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Paradigm Shifting Miscalculations **

Melissa nodded and gave her thanks to the waitress as she placed her food down on the table in front of Melissa and continued chatting with Kono, paying the three men no heed. "What do you mean, you're bored?" Melissa asked loudly and winced when Kono kicked her under the table.

Steve pulled himself out of his reverie and cocked an eyebrow, "You bored Kono? I mean, by all means, we can—"

"No! I love my job, I was talking about something private." Kono explained embarrassingly.

"Melissa?" Chin asked quietly.

"Well, there was this guy who—" Melissa began, cutting off when a thud and a curse rung out.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" Danny cursed aloud.

"What?" Steve asked worriedly.

"Someone kicked me!" Danny frowned at all of the table's patrons.

Melissa shrugged and smiled at Danny, "Wasn't me. I was just going to explain Kono's latest exploit to Chin."

Another thud shook the table, "What the hell? Seriously!" Danny cursed louder and this time, Melissa burst out laughing, joining everyone but Danny at the table.

"I'm sorry Danny! Those were meant for Melissa." Kono shrugged, taking a sip from her drink.

"I can pass them on…" Danny offered.

"No! No I mean; they're more like kisses. How awkward would that be?" Melissa claimed.

She snagged a fry from Chin's plate and tried not to stare as Steve took a large gulp from his drink. She should have been bothered that Steve had sat away from her but after the way he was ignoring her, she refused to feel annoyed and Chin was actually a very cool guy once she got to know him, she had to admit, she was enjoying herself immensely.

"So…Lynch?" Kono asked after they all lapsed into a quiet lull and ate silently for a few minutes.

Melissa shrugged, "This is an awkward time for me…I don't think that I'm quite welcomed in Hawaii right now…especially after what all happened."

"So…its like a codename?" Kono asked curiously.

"Kind of. Keeps any inquiring minds away from the target." Melissa answered keeping her lips sealed.

"So what are you're plans? How long are you staying?" Danny asked cursing again when a thud rocked the table; he was going to have a killer bruise tomorrow.

"That one? That was for you!" Kono snapped.

"Why? You can't keep her here forever without her knowing!" Danny retorted.

"Are you still welcomed back in Virginia?" Chin asked quietly.

Melissa shrugged, "Why wouldn't I be? I'm thinking about slowly heading back actually."

"Why?" Steve asked.

Melissa's gaze flew up to his; she knew as he did that this was actually the first time since this morning that he was looking to her, not even including the fact that he was speaking to her. "My life's there."

Kono sighed, "C'mon, Mel. What do you actually have over there?"

_My job, my apartment where no one knows the address to, my clutches, my cases, _Melissa listed in her head. The sad thing was, apart from Kono, Summers was her only friend. And that was just plain scary.

"What do I have here besides you?" Melissa retorted, turning her attention away from the prying eyes and turning her focus to her food.

"How can you like doing that job?" Danny asked quietly.

"What kind is that, Danny?" Melissa asked exasperatedly.

"A thankless one where no one even knows your real name." Danny commented seriously.

She shrugged, "Do you remember accusing me of working alongside gang members that use child pornography rings to expand their power?"

Danny swallowed, guilt and shame crossing over his features quickly, "Yeah about that…"

Melissa waved the comment away with her hand and snagged a few more fries from Chin's plate, "That's why I do it. To help them get back what was stolen from them. When it matters most? I don't give a shit if no one knows me or if they think the worst of me. Because at the end of the day, they'll never know who I really am, and I'm completely happy that way." Melissa finished glancing pointedly at Steve.

He swallowed roughly and stared at down at his plate, "That's…almost noble." Danny commented, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Melissa snorted, "I don't think so. None of its noble." Melissa dug into her veggie burger and glanced over at Danny when she heard a beep emanating from where he sat.

"Damn it." Danny mumbled glancing at his phone screen with an inscrutable look upon his face.

"What is it Danno?" Steve frowned, instantly worried.

"Its Grace reminding me about a promise I made." Danny mumbled.

Melissa shrugged and slapped Chin's hands away from her fries, "Touch and die, Chin. Touch and die."

He harrumphed and stole the other half of her veggie burger when she wasn't looking, "What are your plans during your visit?"

Melissa noticed Steve glancing over quickly and turning back to Danno, the two quietly conversing. Kono leaned over, "I'll be back, restroom."

"Um, I honestly don't know. Maybe…get myself back into shape? Hope for a case or two to come my way? I don't know yet." She took a sip from her glass, reaching for her phone when it began vibrating. "Excuse me gentlemen, I must take this."

Steve and Danny barely paid her heed and Chin was too busy digging into her veggie burger, _bastard._ "Lynch."

She heard Summers snort over the line, "So, I see your actually being smart this time around and taking precautions…"

"Was there something you wanted…?" Melissa asked in German.

"Didn't he tell you yet? I got off the phone with him almost two hours ago." Summers explained.

Melissa glanced at Steve and found him looking at her; she cocked an eyebrow and went back to her conversation over the phone, "I highly doubt I'll ever hear it. Give me the condensed version."

Summers sighed aguishly, "You're being _asked_ to consult on a case."

And that was when Melissa knew. She knew the real reason why Danny was being so solicitous or why Chin was being friendly. Hell, the only reason Steve had tagged along was to get her comfortable before he told her that she would be their consultant…and it probably killed them all to know that they needed her help. Damn it, they were continuously confusing and using her and the real kicker? She kept falling for it, hook, line and sinker. "Later." She growled into the phone before snapping it shut.

She frowned at Steve and pushed slightly away from the table, "Was there anything you wanted to ask me?"


	15. Concierges and Lollipops

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**B**__elow a certain point, if you keep too quiet, people no longer see you as thoughtful or deep; they simply forget you__. — __**Douglas Coupland**_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Of Concierges and Lollipops **

"Next time, I would have appreciated being told before you try and butter me up." Melissa pushed away from the table and threw a few bills on her empty plate before turning around and walking away. Her entire life, it seems, has been built on lies wrapped in cotton candy kindness and soft punches. She got a few feet of fuming before she heard her name being called and the strangest thing of all occurred, it was Danny who was running up to her.

"Leave me alone Danny. I already said I'd help." Melissa bit out. How could Steve…no, it wasn't like they had something special going on. All it ever was and had been was just wishful thinking on her part and consideration and manipulation on his.

"No it's not about that…I know this is a really bad time—can you just slow down for a second?" He snapped, trying to keep up with her.

She did and they fell into step with each other, "I'm wary, what do you want?"

"Not me, its Grace." He commented.

Melissa whipped towards him and grabbed his arm, "What's wrong? Is she hurt? Is everything okay? What do you need me to do?" 

Danny smiled genuinely, "Wow, seriously, thank you for caring. Its pretty rare these days to see people actually giving a fu—"

"The point?" Melissa released him and began walking when she realized that Grace wasn't in dire need. Walking away from Steve, her delusions and her deepest wants she'll never touch.

"No, she just wants me to remind you of your promise to her." Danny commented, vaguely uncomfortable with being the messenger.

Melissa laughed, surprised at how light-hearted she felt just thinking about Grace, "Sure, sure. Since you probably don't want me seen with her in public—don't deny it," Melissa interrupted the words tumbling from Danny, "She can come over any time she wants. Its safe, we can do something fun like watch movies and bake cookies. A _safe_, nice night in. You decide." Melissa said barely glancing at Danny. As far as she was concerned, the ball was now in his court. She loved Hawaii, Kono and adored Grace but she wasn't going to bend over backwards and accommodate anyone any longer if they weren't going to give an inch.

She walked away, letting the salt drenched air flutter and flow over her body. She would consult the Five-O on the case, whatever it is but she would never forget. Oh, she'd forgive all of the players in the game, it was their nature to use and be used but she wouldn't allow herself to pretend any longer. She would be the consummate professional, ignoring all of the personal ties she had forged willingly and unwillingly with the men and do the best that she could with the case. She also refused to admit why Steve's machinations hurt so much; sure she was nothing to him but irrefutably, he meant something to her. Though she refused to examine what that _something _really was.

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Melissa reached for her phone, slamming her front door shut behind her, "Yes?"

"Mel, I'm so sorry! Look, you don't have to—" Kono began, her worried voice floating through the phone.

Melissa snorted, "If you think I'm going to back out of a case, you're crazy. And no I'm not mad at you. Honest."

Kono laughed, "We're a mess aren't we?"

"Pfft, you're the mess, I'm organized." Melissa plopped herself on the couch and leaned back, staring at the white ceiling, "What's the case about?"

Kono made an uncomfortable sound on her end, "I don't think…"

"We'll be working together won't we? So, why can't you tell me what's the case about?" She explained logically. For one, she was too curious for her own good and wanted a heads up before tomorrow morning and two, she didn't think she could stand there trying to be professional and listen to Steve. If she listened then she'd have to look him in the eyes and if she did, she would be a goner. If only he cut off all of his rich mahogany hair, got two black eyes so she wouldn't be able to see his piercing sea green gaze, wore a heavy jacket so she wouldn't see his muscle and chiselled physic and had a terrible cold so she wouldn't hear his rich whiskey voice slither over her skin. Maybe, just maybe then, she'd be able to stand his presence. She was losing it.

"Did you hear me?" Kono asked, her voice laced with annoyance, no doubt having repeated herself too many times already.

"No, sorry, I was just saying farewell to my self-respect and pride."

Kono snorted, "Two very overrated things but as I was saying, there is some heavy drug trafficking in the southern part of the island and there are definite whispers that this is the only beginning."

Melissa closed her eyes and tried whiting out the image of Steve's smile from her brain and began to catalogue everything Kono said. She let the other woman's words float into her memory as her mind began racing. If what she said were true, then it would only be a matter of time before an all out drug war exploded and she knew one person that could get her a deeper scoop.


	16. A Court of Fools and Jesters

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**A**__nd the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom__. — __Anais Nin_

_AN__: There is some mention of violence and gore in this chapter, no characters are hurt and the next chapter will have an extensive description dripping with gore. If you are not okay with it, please message me and I'll place an asterisk besides the gory parts, if not, please disregard this AN. Thank you. _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Sixteen**

**A Court of Fools and Jesters**

Melissa tugged on her short-sleeved blouse once more before pressing the elevator button and exhaling. She hadn't wanted to dress up and look mainland like Danny but truth be told, she was very mainland and she hadn't wanted to dress casual like Kono with blue jeans and a tank top. She was a professional damn it, an agent on loan from the Federal Bureau. Hell, she had gotten up two hours earlier than usual because she hadn't known what to wear, if she should wear make up, how she should walk into Five-O. Though this time she wasn't being arrested, she still wasn't comfortable just waltzing into their den but Summers had explicitly told her after she got off the phone with Kono and phoned him, that she had to be on her best behaviour. That or not bother coming home to Virginia afterwards.

Something also needed to be said that she still referred to Virginia as her home. She loved Hawaii but she was a pragmatist and knew without a doubt that she would never call this daydream land her true home. Nope, Virginia and Summers would be her home, they knew her and everything that she had to do in her life to survive and they still welcomed her. Sad considering Summers was her boss and admittedly her one friend, aside from Kono.

She sighed, realizing that she already spent the last few hours diddling and thinking about nothing in particular. The case was the reason why she hadn't left yet, screw all the other distractions; they could just go off themselves for all she cared. She slammed her way into her car and drove with a new sense of determination.

Deep down she liked Steve, she liked almost everything about him…from his whiskey honeyed voice, to his rich mahogany hair and she had been definitely losing more of herself to him as he was coming out of his shell but then he locked himself back up and she was finally allowed to breathe again. In a sick way, they were a lot alike, that they would blossom hesitantly but under a threat, they would shutdown and tighten themselves back into bulbs. Not that her and Steve would ever be something they were not. No, the reality of it all was that this was just a crush. Indeed, she was crushing, that was all…right?

Melissa wiped her palms on her black slacks and swallowed audibly as she stood under the morning sun and stared at the elevator. All she had to do was press a small button, enter the coffin-sized room and she would be lifted to the floor where their offices were. It shouldn't have been that big of a deal and yet, she was sweating more now than she had been when she had finally made it onto Summers' taskforce.

She shook herself out of her reverie; she was becoming a bumbling idiot, just standing in front of an elevator like a lunatic. She stabbed the button and growled under her breath, _damn it all, I really am a fool_, she angrily thought and stabbed the button a few more times for good measure.

Melissa straightened her spine as she stepped off the elevator with five minutes to spare before Five-O were expecting her. Through the window she saw Kono sitting on the edge of Danny's desk speaking to both him and Chin, laughing lively to whatever the two men were discussing. And though she refused to be nothing but professional, she knew without having to strain her eyes that Steve wasn't in the office yet. It was getting way too out of hand that she didn't even have to look for him to know if he was there or not…it was like her body knew! Oh, she needed a long cold shower and a colder drink.

Kono spotted her through the office's glass and waved enthusiastically for her to join them, "Now or never." Melissa muttered under her breath.

"Wow, you look really nice, Mel." Kono commented as the door closed behind Melissa.

She bit back a rude retort, she loved Kono but Melissa wasn't here on personal business, she was here as a FBI consultant and yet, Kono was treating this as a social call. She nodded instead and looked at Chin knowing he'd gladly shove aside the pleasantries to focus on the work at hand, "The logistics?"

She followed behind him as he walked to a table with its top covered in black glass and watched uninterestingly as he began pulling up the information on the touch screen. She listened intently as all three of the Five-O gave descriptions and details of what they had accumulated thus far. A slight frown settled between her brows when she realized that they were damn good but they still were missing a vast gap to connect everything. "This is all circumstantial." She pointed out, noting the dates between each killing and all six women were killed differently. Why had Summers designated her as a consultant for a few murders and not someone from the behavioural department? She made a mental note to phone him as soon as she could.

Danny grunted, "I know, so please, how does the FBI do it?" He commented sarcastically.

Melissa bit back an expletive, Danny must be a damn good investigator because his personality was severely lacking. She rolled up her sleeves on her blouse and began pulling up the crime scene photos on the screen. "Lose the attitude and then I'll begin treating you like an adult."

She glanced at Chin and Kono, "All the killings are made by a very violent and _very_ sadistic killer and yet, no traces of DNA were found besides the victims. Different murder weapons and the only way to connect all of the murders is that the MO for all six were very violent." She leaned forward, staring intently at the bloody remains, "Not gang related, though the amount of violence does have some resemblance on the torture methods used by some gangs in the Eastern part of the States. All single women, different builds, different professions and all killed differently. The only coherency between each scene is the brutality and though they were killed animalistic, everything around the victims' places seem staged."

Melissa pulled back, refusing to blink back the newly acquired victims to her already growing memory of death and frozen terror stuck on their pallid features, she glanced again at the ashen looking Kono and Chin, "See here—" She pointed to one of the photographs where a few objects were lying face up in the pool of red, "they don't all fall down with their labels facing upwards. There's a reason behind it. This is a very organized killer, if indeed all the killings are connected."

"It is." A whiskey voice commented from across the room and against her better judgement, Melissa tore her eyes away from the photos to drink in every detail of Steve as he leaned against the doorjamb. "We just got another call, they're holding the scene for us."

Noting the professionalism in his tone and in his eyes, Melissa shoved down the hurt and stood up, "Did anyone do an extensive background check of all of the victims, where they worked and what they were doing before they were killed? Who was in their lives and whom they talked to before being killed? I want to know what was in their fridge, what colour of sheets on their bed, what detergent they used and what they liked to watch on the television." Melissa commented over her shoulder as she walked to the elevator.

"Just like every other FBI agent I know." She heard Danny grumble under his breath.

She stepped into the elevator, not bothering to even acknowledge his presence, "Meaning?"

Danny snorted, "That you all just waltz in and take over the case."

"Shut up." Kono muttered.

Melissa swallowed back all of the curses threatening to break free, turned around and took a threatening step towards Danny, "I'm just doing my job and I suggest you do yours properly. You're not only disrespecting the dead by bickering, you're disrespecting the agency I represent, your badge and your CO. I don't care how much you don't like me, someone just died. Let's focus on that."

She turned back and glanced at Steve, "The address."

He nodded and pulled out his phone, firing a quick text before shoving it back in his pocket. Melissa didn't even bother asking how he knew her number, she pulled out her phone, opened the message and quickly memorized the address before calling over her shoulder as she walked out of the elevator, "Meet you there."

Kono watched as her friend jogged to her car and peeled away from the curb, no doubt in her mind that Melissa was breaking a few speeding laws. Though Danny was her partner, she was damned proud of Melissa and she finally realized why the FBI valued her friend so much. She was a hellhound.


	17. Losing to the Rising Tide of the Grim

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**I**__ am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do__. — __Edward Everett Hale_

_AN: Please be advised that this chapter has quite a bit of gore that is very detailed. If you are uncomfortable or do not wish to read it, please read until she pockets the shoe covers and skip the rest. Thank you very, very much. _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Losing to the Rising Tide of the Grim**

She reached over the seat and grabbed her phone as she waited at the stoplight, "Summers."

"Why was I chosen as a consultant instead of one of the agents from the behavioural unit?" She asked.

Summers growled into the phone, "You know, _agent_, you're stepping on your CO's toes here. I don't believe you have any say in the matter."

Melissa swallowed, "I know, _sir_. But this is the behaviour's department, they could get in the killer's mind easier and more efficiently."

"Last time I checked, you were in the violent crimes department. And as I was led to believe, these murders are of the violent nature. Is that all, agent?" Summers asked dryly, so dryly that his tone could cause forest fires.

"Yes, sir." She threw her phone on the passenger's side and violently manoeuvred her car to a stop. With a growl she slammed her car door shut and walked towards the yellow tape, "FBI." She muttered pulling out her badge to one of the policemen on watch, watching as he mouthed her name silently, tasting her name. She wasn't as confident as she would have preferred to be but she had excelled in the behaviour courses she had taken in training and she was damned if she would be proven incapable.

"I didn't know they called you guys in." He commented.

She glanced at him and barely paid any heed to his features, though if she weren't here on official business and if she couldn't smell the coppery tinge in the air, she would have stayed back and chatted with him. He was pretty damn good looking. She shook her head slightly to clear away the hormonal thoughts, "The ME here yet?"

He shook his head, "No, Mores had his hands tied so he sent his apprentice."

Melissa frowned fiercely, knowing that a Medical Examiner could make or break a case in court and she was damned sure going to bring in this killer. Her orders had been clear and she owed the victims that much. She nodded to him and began glancing around the grass, "Do you have a kit?" She asked him, cursing herself because the one time she left her field kit in Virginia is the time she actually needed it.

"Uh yeah, its in the cruiser, I'll go get it." The officer said jogging away.

She bent over as she heard the Five-O be briefed by a different officer and began inching through the grass like a feeble woman, "What are you doing?" The officer asked, placing the kit at her feet.

She glanced up, quick enough to read his nametag and began pulling out gloves and covers for her shoes so the crime scene would remain unadulterated. She shoved her hands in the gloves and pocketed the shoe covers, "You know, Rourke means 'champion' in Gaelic."

The officer nodded, "I know, my parents still remind me." He smirked.

She chuckled and stood back up, "Thanks for the kit, I'll give it back in a few. Have a few officers sweep the back porch and go through the dirt with a fine toothed comb…please." She added as an afterthought.

He nodded and began walking away before she called over to him, "I think it's a fitting name." She commented, turning around before he could see the slight colour to her cheeks. She met Kono at the front door, the other woman looking at her questioningly.

"What was that all about?" Kono asked.

"Nothing. Make sure all of your feet are covered." She ordered, taking the covers from her pocket and slipping her shoe clad feet into them. "Now, I want all of you to remember every thought and feeling you get as you walk into the crime scene. Don't over analyze anything the first walk about, just take everything in; there's a reason why every scene is staged and I want to hear all of your thoughts after." Melissa ordered before glancing to her right at Steve, ignoring the slight absent pang in her stomach, "Stepping on your toes?"

He shook his head absently, "You're doing a damn good job. I'll tell you if you are."

She nodded and opened the door, fighting back the instinct to cower and retch as the overpowering stench of death and torture assaulted her senses. She cut herself away from her humanity, the Five-O and all of the bustling noises around her and focused herself on the blood. She gulped down her bile as her eyes settled on the remains of the victim and crouched down alongside the shredded remains. She pulled the tape recorder from her pocket and pressed the red 'rec' button,

"Victim is missing an eye, all the teeth in the maxilla, right breast has been serrated off and it appears as if the victim's chest was ripped open. From the signs, it could be surmised that the victim died from the trauma. A ten-inch cut from groin to left thigh with bone peeking through and her right foot has been neatly sawed off. The amount of blood loss is evident and from the amount of blood splatter, the victim must have struggled through everything and probably died when her ribcage was cracked open."

She hit the stop button and closed her eyes, telling herself that there had to be a reason, because without reason, she would go mad. There was a sea of red; the entire room reeked of the sickly sweet coppery smell and the carpet was so drenched in the violence that every step someone would make, a resounding squishing sound would be heard. She bit the inside of her mouth and tried calming herself down, looking at the photos had been jarring enough but this? This was just too much. She was drowning.

"You're amazing." She heard an awed voice speak and opened her eyes to see the newcomer.

"You must be the new ME." She surmised nodding to the young man as he set his kit besides the gore and crouched along side Melissa.

He noted everything and cursed under his breath, "Whoever did this deserves to be—"

"Doctor." Melissa quietly said, pulling him back from the nightmare.


	18. Professional Shark's Teeth and Daisies

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_I must be cruel only to be kind. Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.__ — __Hamlet__, William Shakespeare _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Professional Shark's Teeth and Daisy Beginnings **

She didn't know how long she had been crouching for and the entire Five-O, save for Kono, had all circled around the ME listening to every detail. She absorbed everything and excused herself, hoping she didn't fall on her face from staying in the crouched position for long. Her legs and lower back screamed in protest and she shoved the urge to rub her sore muscles aside when she noticed her gloves were smeared with blood. She knew the horror would stick, regardless of soap or even bleach…it would be a long time before she would forget the sight of the victim's blood on her hands, gloved or not.

Melissa walked through the living room, making her way towards the kitchen where she saw Kono's figure. Taking photos and recording audible notes on the recorder, taking notice of every minute detail. She longed to rub her dry eyes, rub away the victims' faces frozen in terror and pain from the back of her mind. But she couldn't. She would be doing them a disservice and they were now her mantles; sleep and food would be lost in the battle, she knew but they would get their justice.

She noticed Kono standing over the sink, small tremors overtaking her shoulders, "Kono?"

"I can't, Mel." Kono quietly confessed. "There's just too much…"

Melissa nodded, stepping closer until her shoulders touched her dear friend's, "You'll never get used to it, Kono. The moment you do, you begin to lose compassion for the victims. From what I gathered, the Five-O handles everything and this falls in that category. You're the best of the best, of course you can handle this."

Kono rested her head on Melissa's shoulders, "I look at the woman's remains and think of her family…how will we tell them—"

"They're dead now and there's nothing we can do to bring them back. Our objective is to make sure they didn't die in vain, to give them a chance to tell their story and lay peacefully. If you can't handle that, then maybe you should go outside for a few minutes and remind yourself of your job." Melissa moved away from Kono, knowing her friend needed a firm hand, knowing in her heart that she too wanted to be as soft as Kono. But she couldn't afford to walk around with a bleeding heart and empathize with the victims. She would sympathize and work her damnedest to right the wrongs committed but she wouldn't…couldn't think about the loved ones left behind. She didn't want another mantle to destroy her. It wasn't her job.

Melissa closed her eyes against the slight hurt when Kono shoved past her but she refused to feel anything more. She had forcefully hurt her friend so Kono could get back into the job but she hadn't enjoyed it. She feared that no matter how long she blinked, this day would never end; she could drink herself into oblivion but this day would be forever imprinted under her skin.

She walked through the entire house, not even hearing the goodbyes from Five-O as they finally left, not hearing the shutters from the crime scene technician's camera or the buzz of conversation. She walked around and through the entire house until she was familiarized with every nook and cranny, every grass blade and windowpane, memorizing every detail and making mental notes.

She finally stopped to catch her breath by a sycamore tree, "Are you trying to show us off by working non stop?" A voice commented from behind her.

Melissa glanced over her shoulder and shielded her eyes from the burning sun, "What?" She asked Rourke confusedly. As far as she was concerned, she had only been here for a few hours, three tops.

"You've skipped lunch and," He glanced at his watch, "You're going to miss dinner if you keep this up."

Melissa shrugged, she had been zoned out for an entire eight hours, walking through a nightmare, "Yeah, I think you're right." Her foot knocked something and she ripped her gloves off, "Here, before I forget." She bent down to retrieve Rourke's kit and handed it back to him. "Thank you very much for that."

"You're welcome, you've had the chance to break it in." He commented bending under the police tape and holding it up for her. Melissa nodded her thanks and passed under the screaming yellow tape.

They both ripped off their respective shoe coverings, "How long have you been on the force?" Though their conversation was menial at best, it was soothing to Melissa's ravaged soul and apart from Steve; she felt light around Rourke.

"Transferred here from Arizona." He walked alongside her and both ignored the fact that he was walking with her to her car, the opposite direction of where his cruiser was waiting. "I was with the Arizona PD for six years as a detective before I decided I had enough of the Arizona sun."

Melissa snorted and chuckled, letting Rourke overstep the nightmare, "Well, that was well planned out…I mean, the Hawain sun pales in comparison." She smiled, noticing how his entire face lit up when he smiled. He was one of the few that was ruggedly handsome when he was serious and when he smiled? Eros himself couldn't compare.

"Yeah well…the beaches are amazing." He shrugged.

Melissa unlocked her car door and leaned against the burning metal, "Then why are you in uniform if you are a detective?"

He glanced around, leaning closer to feign a conspirator tone; "My sergeant thought it'd be funny to make me wear this for a few days before he gave me the detective position."

She smiled and shook her head, "You are absolutely ridiculous, Rourke."

"And you're way too serious, Melissa." He took a step away from her.

She sighed, realizing that reality had come crashing back to the two, "Where are you situated during the day?" Rourke asked.

Melissa's stomach began to flutter, "Why?" 

He shook his head woefully, "Are you always this suspicious?"

"I'm working with the Five-O." She said waiting to see if she would get a reaction from him. From what Kono had said, the Hawaiian police department frowned upon the Five-O, saying they were full of misfits and worked on the edge of the law. Sadly, she didn't get a rise that she was looking for out of Rourke.

"Aren't you going to say something despairing about them?" She asked, frustrated that she couldn't read him.

He shrugged and shook his head playfully again, "And now you think I'm some villain? They way I see it; they're doing us a favour by helping us out. I don't get why some of the guys hate them, they're lightening our load."

She blinked, "No, there has to be something wrong with you. Nobody can be that _nice._"

He threw his head back and laughed, Melissa frowned against the spike in hormones as the sound fluttered sensuously over her skin, "Just you wait and see, Agent Melissa."


	19. No Closure for the Damned

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**W**__e acquire the strength we have overcome. __— __Ralph Waldo Emerson_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Nineteen**

**No Closure for the Damned**

"Did you even go home after you came back last night? Have you had breakfast?" Kono asked, stepping into their office and noticing Melissa was still hunched over the table. After the five had left the crime scene, they all had went out for dinner leaving Melissa behind, came back to the office to put in another hour and noticed Melissa was back and pouring over the evidence. She hadn't really said anything besides grunting and one by one, they all had left, admitting defeat to catch a few hours of shut-eye. And yet again, Melissa was the last one…if she had even left at all.

Danny snorted, "Probably not, did you see her yesterday? It was as if she was in a trance."

"Ladies, if you're ready?" Steve asked walking to the table. "Anything?" Steve asked to Melissa, pulling up yesterday's crime scene photos.

She snagged a chair and fell into it, rubbing her eyes. Yesterday had been brutal, regardless of meeting a friendly face and letting Rourke add some sunshine to her dark day, she still felt emotionally exhausted. After each of them had left last night, she had clocked in five more hours, finally leaving at midnight and falling into bed around one in the morning. She had slept fitfully and finally gotten up at four realizing that sleep wouldn't come easy. She had went for a jog to clear the cobwebs from her head, tried to eat but when the food came back up, she realized she'd have to settle for a shower instead. She glanced at her watch, she had spent the past three hours hunched over the details and she wasn't even comfortable to write a report yet. What the hell was Summers thinking sending her here instead of the behavioural unit?

She leaned in the chair and stared up at the ceiling, letting all of her thoughts and ruminations about the killer flow off her tongue. She only stopped to accept the horrid coffee Kono handed her, chugged down the vile burning acid and continued on. She mentioned his skill and precision with amputations, his rage at sawing off certain appendages and each time, ripping them apart, literally. It was as if he were trying to reveal to the world what type of human being they really were. She jolted herself out of her state and bolted out of the chair, "Where's my phone…?" She muttered, ripping the table apart until her hands found the item.

"Melissa…?" Chin asked worriedly.

"Summers, can you patch me through to Thompson? I just want to run a few things by him." Melissa began to pace, waiting for the head of the Behavioural Unit to answer his extension, "Sir? Agent Jones, sir, did you get the case file I sent you? Yes, would it be correct to assume…" Melissa continued, walking towards the other side of the office, away from prying ears.

Steve frowned, "Kono? After she's done with her phone call, drag her out for lunch."

Kono nodded and watched as her friend ramble half-crazily on the phone, "She's really fantastic, you know?" She commented, elbowing Danny absently.

"She's terrifying." He admitted, a hint of admiration in his tone.

"You sure? Thanks, sir." Melissa pocketed her phone and glanced at the Five-O, "We're looking for a middle aged white male, who has a deep problem with females. Probably working in the food industry, we're looking for someone who cannot speak or even look at a female in the eyes, preferring to speak to men only. He fears the power he perceives women have and is frustrated at his powerlessness. He feels that they control him and the only way to take their power away, to show the world that they are nothing is to rip them apart." Melissa continued giving her report and finally, when she was done, she let out a huge sigh and fell into an absent chair.

"Okay, I'll send out this information through the PD and we can begin to look for him." Steve nodded, "Each killing happened a week apart, which means we only have seven days to find this guy."

"C'mon, we're going for lunch." Kono grabbed Melissa's arm and pulled her up, "I'm starving, how about you?"

Melissa blinked finally realizing that she felt a bit better and definitely more light-hearted now that they all knew what to look for. Whenever she got a new case, she was like a hound dog; not eating, sleeping or resting until she figured out everything and the accused was caught. Sure, she sometimes freaked out Summers and she had a propensity to resemble a zombie but she got the job done and at the end of the day? It was all that mattered. She finally looked at Steve and noticed he looked just as haggard as she felt but he was still handsome and disgustingly, even after everything that she had seen in the last twenty-four hours, he still managed to make her stomach fluttery. She got up, "I'm damned starve."

"Phone if there's any advances." Kono threw over her shoulder and ushered Melissa to the elevator.

0000000000000000

They both thanked the waiter as food was placed in front of each of them, "Don't you ever get tired of chicken fingers and french-fries?" Kono asked rolling her eyes when her friend made a sound as she bit into the chicken.

Melissa shook her head, "Are you kidding me? I could eat this for the rest of my life and I'd never get tired of it."

"You're disgusting." Kono playfully retorted before ducking out of the way when a fry almost hit her in the forehead. Both girls laughed and settled into their tested and true friendship.

"Excuse me, Miss…" Both girls tore themselves away from their conversation when the waiter approached with two drinks on his tray, "The gentleman by the window said to send them over here."

Melissa leaned back in her seat to get an eyeful of the man in question and almost fell out of the chair when her eyes settled on Rourke in his casual clothes speaking to another man. He caught her looking and grinned and damn it but she almost fell out of her chair again. The damned man had dimples! She was doomed. Between Steve and Rourke, she was a ball of hormones. "Thank you." She mouthed, earning a wink from him.

"Melissa, do you know him?" Kono asked as she took a sip from the fruity slushy.

"Yeah, he was one of the officers—" Melissa sipped the drink, a small smile playing on her lips.

"That you were chatting with yesterday." Kono finished with a touch of dreamy awe in her voice, "I have to admit, that man's looks are lethal."

Melissa stared at Kono and tried not to bare her lips in a threat, making Kono lift her hands up and laugh, "He's all yours." She pacified.

"Excuse me." She winked at Kono and walked up the table nodding to the man as he excused himself, "I hope I'm not imposing…" She said not taking the newly vacated seat.

"Shut up and sit down. He's just going to the bathroom and we only have a few minutes before he comes back." Rourke glanced over and winked at Kono, "You have a cute friend."

Melissa frowned, "Do you want me to bring her over here?"

Rourke laughed, "It'd be a waste since I'm not interested in her friend." Melissa glanced down at the plate and smiled, enjoying the sensations, "But I have to admit, I love it that you're jealous."

She smiled and shrugged, not bothering to lie, "I'm not above admitting it."

They both sat there, smiling intimately at each other when his companion made a coughing sound and she tore her attention away from Rourke to stare up at the stranger, "Sorry, I'll give you your seat back." She stood up and nodded to the man before glancing once more at Rourke to find him standing and making his way towards her.

She swallowed and allowed him to wrap his hand around her elbow, escorting her back to her table, where an excited Kono was grinning like a fool. "Say you'll have dinner with me tonight."

Melissa looked up at him and almost fainted, his eyes were the brightest grey she had ever seen, "If you're going to say you're busy, I'll just kidnap you and probably get life in prison for kidnapping a federal agent…so do me a favour and say yes."

She smiled and opened her mouth, Kono cutting her off, "Yes, I'll make sure she's done before six."

Rourke tore his attention from Melissa to smirk at Kono. She rolled her eyes as Kono gushed over him as they were introduced, "You can pick her up at my place at six." Kono wrote her address down on a napkin and handed it to Rourke.

"See you then." Rourke quietly said to Melissa before pulling away from the table and nodding his goodbye to Kono.

She fell into her chair and sighed, "What am I doing?"

Kono laughed, "I'll tell you what you're doing, you're letting lose. About damn time too."

They finally finished their lunches and left, both of them leaving dejectedly when they noticed Rourke's table empty.

The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully as each member of the Five-O discussed yesterday's crime scene with Melissa as she jotted notes. The lack of confidence she had fostered from earlier seemed so insignificant in the face of what they all had accomplished.

"Mind if I take a seat?" A whiskey voice asked. Melissa tore her attention away from her notepad and looked up.

"Sure." She went back to her notepad and tried steadying her breathing. Even though she was working alongside him, she had missed their easy banter, though she knew they wouldn't fall back into the way they were. They had both shutdown around each other and speaking for herself, she was working her way through getting over this_ slight_ crush.

He leaned back in his chair and stared at her, "What?" She asked, feeling his eyes pierce through her.

"You're an asset." He quietly commented.

She pulled herself away from her list, "What?"

Steve smiled, "Is that all you know how to say?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry but I thought I heard a compliment come my way from one Steve McGarrett."

"What? I can't say anything nice?" He asked innocently.

She laughed, "It's just not something I expect you to say."

He settled himself more comfortably in the chair, "And what would you expect me to say?"

"'_Get back to work', 'you're doing it wrong,' 'are you done wasting time?' 'Can we get back to work?'_" Melissa imitated, earning a slight scowl from Steve and a laugh from Danny.

"Oh, that just made my day." Danny laughed.

Steve threw a glare over his shoulders at the grinning trio, "Get back to work!"

Melissa jumped from her chair and pointed accusingly at Steve, laughing alongside the members of Five-O, "See! It's all you say! You're a slave driver."

Steve grunted, a slight smile on his lips, "I can see why Summers is so protective of you."

She sighed, realizing he refused to admit defeat, "You know I'm right." She nodded, more to herself than anything.

"You think we'll catch him soon?" Steve asked quietly.

Melissa swivelled around to face him, this was the first time she actually saw a vulnerable looking Steve and damned if that didn't make him adorable. But shallowness aside, she empathized with him, she knew what it felt like to be uncertain if they would catch the assailant; the uncertainty if they were doing enough, what was right and wrong, that the rights could never fix the wrongs, was sometimes too overwhelming.

And regardless of how many years she had under her belt, she still felt the pangs of uncertainty. But with those pangs came the realization that though they were fighting the rising tide, they were doing their best. And sometimes, it was all that mattered. "I know we'll catch him. We gave the PD the profile of what to look for, we know when he'll strike again and it's just a matter of time before we find him." She quietly said.

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes in a move that screamed of exhaustion and weariness, "When we catch him, I want a few minutes alone with him."

Melissa shook her head, she wanted the same but the truth of the matter was, no vindication would be found and they would still be left grasping for reasons. "You're not going to find what you are looking for."

"What do you mean?" He asked leaning in his chair to stare intently at her.

She swallowed, trying to ignore his piercing sea green eyes, "You are not going to get logical reasons behind why the killings were so brutal, you are not going to find anything but just hateful spewing. You should know being a military man, everyone is capable of killing; we are all capable of doing great and terrible things." She shrugged, leaning back and rested her head on the back of the chair.

"How many?" Steve asked, once again scowling. "You don't sound bitter or cynical and yet, you sound as if you have no hope."

Melissa shrugged, "I have hope, I hope that the violence we commit against ourselves will end or at least, that we'll catch each perpetrator. I sat with fourteen, each time realizing that I wouldn't find peace or justice speaking to them. We would have to look within ourselves or to the system itself for those things. One guy killed and ate his wife, I asked why and you know what he told me?" She looked at him.

"What?" Steve asked realizing that Melissa wasn't really looking at him, she was remembering. And immediately, he fought the urge to take her in his arms and comfort her. It would be mote, they all had mantles; they all remembered each victim and every drop of blood. Melissa was fantastic at her job but he began to wonder what it truly cost her, how long would she run before she burnt out and drowned under her burdens?

"He shrugged and told me _why not_. I used to rip myself apart trying to find all of the answers and reasons why but Summers made me realize that I'll never really understand. Because the moment I do, I'm on the wrong side of the law."

Steve smirked, staring at the ceiling, letting her words sink in, if he were being honest, he wouldn't mind having her around permanently. She eased the weight on his shoulders, made him feel human and real and damned if his stomach stopped its fluttering. It was like he was a teenager again and he hated that feeling.

Melissa sat in their own silence that they weaved, every time she thought she was over him, he pulled her back down under the waves and realized she wasn't even close to moving on. He made her feel human, he made the weight of aching humanity and failure seem acceptable and possible to carry, her stomach fluttered like it did when she was a teenager talking to her crush and damned but she hated that feeling.

"Are you ready to go, Mel?" Kono called over, grabbing her bag.

She nodded and stood up, standing next to Steve's chair but refusing to look at him, "We're all a wreck, Steve. But at least we're trying and that's all that matters."

She said goodbye to Danny and Chin, grabbing her phone and keys as she followed Kono to the elevator, "You're more excited than I am."

Kono shrugged, "He's really ripped up about this case, isn't he?" She asked quietly.

Melissa glanced over her shoulder to the still Steve, "He takes things personally."

"So do you." Kono retorted.

"No, I take the responsibility but I don't take the wrong doings upon myself and ask why I couldn't prevent them from occurring. He does." Melissa commented, stepping inside the elevator.

"I hope he gets closure."

Melissa shook her head, more to herself than anything; "He'll find it within himself. He'll talk to the killer and he'll get closure, it might not be what he's looking for but he will get it."

"Will you?" She asked staring at her friend.

"I've stopped looking for closure." Melissa quietly replied.


	20. Killing Reminiscent Time

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it._

_**D**__istance not only gives nostalgia, but perspective, and maybe objectivity__. —__Robert__ Morgan_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty**

**Killing Reminiscent Time**

"Girl, I never knew a little black dress could be that sexy." Kono commented staring at Melissa's reflection.

She tugged at her cardigan and stared at her reflection, it wasn't revealing as most of Kono's clothes tended to be but rather, it was tasteful and fitted and somehow, Melissa's confidence soared. She had decided along the way to Kono's place that she liked Steve but she was a pragmatist and the undeniable truth was, they would never be. She felt as though there was a glass partition between them and no matter how close she wished they could be; they would never be on the same side of the glass. They were both just wounded warriors trying to get by.

She liked Rourke and she wanted to see where things led but she wasn't going to pretend to be something she wasn't. It was with that reasoning that Melissa opted out of make-up, opted out of a red dress and decided to go for what she felt the most comfortable and confident in.

They both heard a car door being shut and Kono grabbed Melissa's arm, "Are you ready? You're going to kick some ass, dude. I just know it."

She smiled and hugged her friend, "Thanks."

Kono smiled and went to go answer the door, "Well, _hello_ officer."

Melissa laughed and joined her friend, her tongue almost falling on the floor when her eyes soaked up every detail that was Rourke. Clad all in black, slacks and a dress shirt rolled up on his forearms, the man looked positively dangerous and delicious…whoa, did she just say delicious? She shook her head and smiled broadly at him, "I think maybe I'm underdressed."

He snorted, "I'll return her before midnight." He said to Kono.

"Pfft, as far as I'm concerned, as long as she shows up to work tomorrow morning, I'm happy." Kono shoved Melissa out the door, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She laughed and accepted Rourke's arm, "What wouldn't she do?"

0000000000000000

Melissa heard a painfully annoying, high-pitched incessant beeping near her head and tried swatting at the sound, snuggling deeper into the covers. The beeping finally subsided and she sighed, smiling as she burrowed deeper. A chuckling sound emanated from her pillow and the events of last night crashed into her consciousness and Melissa opened her eyes.

Rourke was smiling sleepily at her, cradling her body to his, "Good morning."

Melissa pushed herself up, thankful that her cardigan was still wrapped around her, though she had slept over and had spent most of the night watching movies with Rourke, she knew that he wasn't ready to see her tattoos that littered her upper body. He hadn't pushed and she wasn't ready. This was the first time that she had ever slept at a man's house, spending the night to…well, to sleep. They had kissed but Rourke was perceptive enough that he didn't push anything. He seemed content with just kissing her and when the evening dimmed, she had passed out on him as they both watched a horror movie. He must have carried her in his bed and damned if that didn't make her feel light. Only she would actually go to a handsome devil's house and fall asleep in his arms without any hanky-panky occurring.

"What time is it?" Melissa asked groggily, loving the way Rourke's black locks were sleep tousled.

He stretched and flashed her his muscled stomach. She swallowed and met his amused eyes, "seven thirty."

"In the morning? Oh shit, I'm going to be late. Hurry, get dressed, you have to drive me to work." Melissa untangled herself and stood, taking in the mess that she was first thing in the morning. Her hair looked horrifying but thankfully, her dress' material seemed almost wrinkle proof.

"Use the bathroom while I get changed." Rourke ordered, slapping her butt as he passed her. "I'll even let you use my toothbrush."

"Damn straight. I should lock you up! Kidnapping a federal agent." Melissa muttered, smiling to herself. Any other time and the thoughts of using someone else's toothbrush freaked her out but she was going to be late if she made a spectacle out of it. She went through her morning routine, loving the feeling of being in his bathroom.

"Move along," Rourke commented, shoving her aside with his hip, "I'll be done in five. Are you going to go in like that?" Rourke asked as he began brushing his teeth.

Melissa shoved him over again and began splashing cold water on her face, "I really don't have a choice. It'll be fine, if I put my hair in a ponytail, I'll just look very professional."

Rourke snorted and threw a towel at her, "I bet you'd look professional naked."

"You'll never find out." Melissa flirted, running out of the bathroom when Rourke unzipped his pants to use the toilet. She heard him laughing and she smiled. She waited for him by the door and smiled her thanks when he handed her one of his hair ties. His hair wasn't long by any means but it hung nearly touching his shoulders and for Melissa, he looked like a dark warrior.

0000000000000000

Melissa shouted a bye over shoulder and waved absently, running to the building. She only had five minutes before the clock would hit eight and she did _not_ want to be late. Kono would already make a big deal out of the fact that Melissa was still wearing last night's clothes and she already felt like a teenager sneaking in. Rourke found her embarrassment highly amusing and after he calmly told her that they had done nothing wrong, that whatever occurred between them could never be judged by others and what they did wouldn't be 'wrong', she had agreed.

She tapped her foot as the elevator ascended, her mind already shoving the worries aside to focus on the day ahead. She wondered if any advancement had been made and for the first time she had stepped foot in the building, she wasn't worried about-facing Steve. She got off the elevator and walked confidently to the office, noting Kono leaning on Chin's desk, conversing amongst the two of them and Danny doing the same with Steve. She nodded to Chin and met Kono's eyes, "Shut up." She mouthed pushing open the office door and seeing the huge grin split Kono's face.

"Well, don't you look mainland." Chin commented as Melissa fell into a chair, glanced at the clock and let out a huge sigh noticing she had half a minute to spare.

Melissa knew it was rude but for the rest of the morning, she ignored everyone and everything but the case, grunting if a question was directed her way. Shoving her cardigan off, Melissa reached across the table for a map with all of the killings marked and connected. Frowning she asked Steve, "How far has the PD searched?"

Reaching over, he grabbed the map from her fingers, "So far just within the one mile radius."

She nodded, "Have them extend it a few more miles and concentrate on them. Killings like these, the killer tends to kill closer to home. He'd be drunk off the blood and the power."

Steve nodded and pulled out his phone, "I've never seen him take orders that well before." Danny commented taking Steve's vacated seat near Melissa.

She shrugged nonchalantly, "He's good at what he does but this is out of his element."

Danny opened a case file, "And this is yours?"

"Sadly, it is." She replied, missing his rattled look.

"So, Mel…" Kono began making sure both Danny and Chin was absorbed in their notes and Steve arguing with someone across the office on the phone. She sat in a chair and wheeled it to where Melissa was sitting. "How was last night?"

Melissa threw a pencil at her friend, glancing quickly to make sure no one was listening, "What about it?"

Kono smiled innocently, "Well, the way I see it, your car is still at my place and look at that…you're wearing last night's clothes."

"Shut up." Melissa retorted, hoping she was just imagining the blush she felt creeping towards her cheek. She pulled out her phone and rattled off a text to Kono,

"_We didn't do what you think we did." _

Kono glanced up at her friend and back at her own phone, scepticism rampant on her features,

"_You're kidding me right? C'mon, you spent __**all night**__ with him and there was no naked fun?" _

Melissa snorted and quickly glanced around again,

"_I hate to break it to you but he's every bit of the gentleman and we just slept. That's all." _

Kono rolled her eyes and bit her lip,

"_Any other person and I would never believe it but you…I sadly believe." _

Kono began laughing and didn't even stop when Melissa reached over and kicked Kono's shin, "What's so funny over here?" Steve asked coming to stand behind the two women.

Melissa shook her head and bent over the open case file, "Nothing, just discussing the weather."

Danny snorted, "Kono's giving Melissa a hard time because apparently, she's wearing last night's clothes."

Melissa stared at Danny, horrified that her personal life was just splattered in front of everyone to see and dissect. And the worst part was, a part of her felt like she had just betrayed Steve. That was ridiculous…right? She glanced over her shoulder at Steve, a shrug dying on her shoulders when she noticed he was still staring at her intensely. For a second she thought she saw hurt and jealousy flutter through his eyes but then he shut down and once again, Melissa was faced with a stone cold Steve. The cyborg Steve was becoming very familiar to her and this time, she blamed and hated herself for shutting him off.

"How about we get back to the case and forget about the soap opera reruns, okay?" Melissa asked them all waspishly.

"I agree." Steve coldly confirmed.


	21. Sliding into Hopeful Betrayal

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_I don't think I've stressed this enough but I really just want to thank the readers, reviewers, favourites, alerts…anyone that is still tagging along. Your support, enthusiasm and interest are the reason why this story keeps growing; this chapter is for you. Thank you, thank you and thank you. _

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Sliding into Hopeful Betrayal **

Melissa spent the entire afternoon replaying back how Steve looked, the way his entire body froze, the light in his eyes dimming to a glacier's edge. She tried to tell herself that it meant nothing, that Steve was nothing to her but deep down, regardless of how deep she tried to bury everything, he meant something to her. Though she refused to dwell on what that 'something' was. Every precious smile, how his voice had a slight husk to it and the way he sounded even when he was arguing with Danny. She would do her best to push him out of her mind, out from under her skin; he obviously wanted to be nothing to her and she would grant him his wish. She would let him go. Even if it killed her.

She sighed dejectedly, reaching over and grabbed her phone as it began vibrating, "Yes?"

"Aren't you even going to say hello?" A warm voice commented dryly in her ear.

She pulled back to look at the screen before putting the phone back to her ear, "Hello."

"What's wrong?" Rourke asked, concern lacing his voice.

She sighed, pushing away from the table to move towards the windows, facing away from any prying eyes, "Just feeling a bit down."

"Are you coming?" A voice asked from behind her.

"One minute." She said into the phone before turning around and watching as Danny and Chin said their goodbyes and left, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Kono smiled, "We're off now, I have to drive you to my place so you can pick up your car."

"Yeah, I'll be a minute." Melissa waited until Kono had left the office before putting the phone back to her ear. She was in such a state that she hadn't even seen Steve leave, "Sorry about that."

"No worries, look, I'll make it up to you."

She smiled, "You don't have to. Trust me, its not that big of a deal."

He made a harrumphed noise on his end, "It is a big deal to me. Whenever I'm down, the worst thing I could do is to stay at home and wallow. I will not let you wallow."

She chuckled, "Fine, fine. What are your plans?"

He rattled off an address, "Meet me there at five and wear something light. We'll be outside for a few hours."

She sighed, what was she getting herself into? "Okay, I'll meet you there." She closed her phone with one more sigh and stared out the windows.

"How long have you two been dating?" A whiskey voice asked from behind her.

She whipped around and almost tripped, a hand shooting out to grasp her elbow, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

She stared up at Steve, not wanting to even acknowledge the hand cupping her elbow in case he removed it and she'd be left feeling bereft. "Uh, since yesterday, I guess."

He nodded, quickly removing his hand from her elbow and shoved his hands in his pocket, staring everywhere but at her, "What does he do?"

She smirked dryly, "Believe it or not, he's a cop."

He stared unblinkingly at her, "What's his name?"

She smiled slightly; he didn't really care about her. He just wanted to make sure she wasn't gallivanting around with a crooked cop…right? "I'm not telling you, Steve. So you can just throw that idea out the window."

He chuckled, pulling his hand out of his pocket and reached over, grasping her hand, "You're amazing, Melissa. I just want to make sure you're with someone that deserves you." He squeezed her hand gently and let go.

Melissa watched him walk away from her, her thoughts and the sound of her heart beating almost too loud for her to bear. She frowned, now he decided to make a move? Now, after everything that has happened, after her seeing Rourke…now! What a jackass, he hadn't even fought for her; he had fought more for himself and just accepted the fact that she was no longer single with a calm nod. No, that was just unacceptable. She'd have fought the entire world for him and Steve? Too busy fighting with his armour and admitting defeat before even picking up his weapon.

"Hey!" Melissa shouted.

Steve stopped in the doorway, looking questioningly over his shoulder, "What?"

She walked up to him, her cardigan and phone in one hand and the other to shove him away from the door, "You have no right to even say those things. Who are you to me? Nobody! You are just someone I'm working alongside and you never wanted to change that!" She snapped, jabbing his chest once more with her finger before turning away.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to face him, "You're right, I have no right to say it but _damn it_…" They both stood there huffing angrily. He reached up with his other hand and gently pushed a few strands of her hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek.

She glanced up at him, her breathing becoming short for a different reason. "This is madness." She whispered, wishing he'd kiss her, wishing he'd do something besides staring into her eyes intently.

He shook his head and bent down, his lips a mere millimetre from touching hers, "If we were different people at a different time in our lives, you'd have made me very happy."

Melissa closed her eyes against the rising tides of hope and leaned in closer, making a sound when his lips brushed hers. He pulled back and released her, not meeting her eyes, "You should go…Kono is waiting for you."

Melissa nodded, not even sure if she could walk after what just happened. She walked past him and got into the elevator alone, leaving her resolutions behind with him.

0000000000000000

She parked her car and glanced once more to make sure she had the right address, "He's taking me to a baseball game?" She muttered under her breath, rolling up the sleeves to her thin long sleeved shirt. She had opted for shorts and the shirt; they were both thin enough and didn't reveal the dangerous tattoos she harboured.

"You must really miss me if you've resorted to talking to yourself now." She heard Rourke comment from behind her.

She turned around smiled at him, loving the fact that just his appearance eased some of the darkened clouds over her head, the monsters inside her calming down. She ignored Steve, all of the worries and hopes connected to him and just focused on the man standing before her. Without thinking she walked into his arms and hugged him tightly, "Thank you for forcing me to come." 

He laughed and tightened his arms, "I wish I could say it was altruistic but I wanted to see you again."

She smiled and inhaled his scent; there were few things better in life as far as she was concerned. She took his hand and let him drag her away to a spot on a bench, to watch a game that she didn't really care about but one thing mattered. She was with someone she was beginning to care for and he made everything else pale in comparison.

As the time grew longer and the end of the game neared, she glanced to the side field. She didn't know what had made her turn her head, she had been laughing with Rourke and sharing his drink when she felt compelled to turn her head to the left, near the edge of the field. She squinted her eyes and died.

For a blistering second Melissa tried fighting against her brain, telling herself that it couldn't be him. That there was no way in hell, that Steve would be at the same game with a skinny blonde hanging off his arm. They were both laughing and Melissa allowed herself to feel the pang at his carefree smile, his carefree laugh, the way his arm wrapped itself around the woman's waist. The blonde was a toothpick! How in hell's can that be attractive? Melissa watched masochistically as the woman leaned into his side and whispered something in his ear, earning a laugh from Steve. She squinted at them, wishing she had brought her gun and wondering if Rourke had a bazooka in his trunk.

Steve smiled at the blonde and caught her chin in his hand, pulling her to him. Melissa tried looking away, tried to fight against the rising anguish she felt burning from her toes to the top of her head but she was a masochist of the highest order and she had to make sure that he was indeed, twisting the knife deeper into her heart. She watched as the blonde and Steve kissed passionately before turning back to the field with a dark scowl on her face. "I've seen him before. What's his name?" Rourke asked from besides her.

It took every ounce of Melissa's training to quell the scorn; Rourke didn't deserve to be lied to, he didn't deserve anything but her sincerity, honesty and attention. She was doing him a disservice and Steve had so eloquently and kindly reminded her that she had no rights to him. That she was Rourke's and she would work to make him her first priority. For all she cared, Steve could go suck a lemon.

"He's the commanding officer of Five-O and a complete asshole." Melissa said without much interest. She smiled genuinely at Rourke, making sure he saw that she was going to be okay. He stared at her for a minute before nodding and returning her smile.


	22. Of Parasols and Expertise

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**E**__verything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do. __— __Denis Waitley_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**Of Parasols and Expertise**

Melissa went in the next morning with a new outlook, a fresher smile and the determination of the strongest metal. She was a professional, she had no right connecting her personal and professional life together and Steve was firmly planted in the professional life.

She was about to park her car when her phone rang, she growled and looked at the caller I.D, noting that it was Steve. "What's wrong?"

"They apprehended someone that fits the description and behaviour of the suspect." The urgency in his voice becoming prevalent.

"Where's he being held?" She asked.

"At the precinct."

"Good, we don't want to make him feel special by bring him to Five-O quarters. I'll meet you there." She threw her phone aside and drove with a new vigour. It hadn't taken them long to apprehend him and she knew they desperately needed a confession. Everything they had was circumstantial and a good defence attorney could easily rip apart the D.A's case.

She flashed her badge at the front desk, ignoring everything but the location the officer at the front rattled to her where the killer was being held. She weaved her way through, hearing Danny in the distance and smiled, they were just as eager as she was but definitely louder. This was now her jurisdiction, disregarding the fact that she was a mere consultant, she was a FBI agent and she would do anything and everything in her power to break the accused.

She knocked once before opening the door and nodded to a quite a few detectives present, her eyes lingering on Rourke. It was often the case that when a killer, highly stylized by a media, was arrested all detectives would pull rank to jam inside the room separated by a one-way mirror to watch the interrogation. She stepped inside and heard Danny curse from behind her, "Can I please see you four outside?" She asked politely, nodding to Five-O.

Danny and Steve both frowned but followed behind Chin and Kono, she smiled at the four, making sure she didn't linger on Steve. "Aren't you going to empty the room?" Kono asked.

Melissa shook her head and lifted a pacifying hand to stave off the arguments bubbling from them, "I want them to see how it's really done. I always hear from you all that the Five-O is treated despairingly and that the PD thinks its better than all of you. This is your chance to rub their noses in it."

Danny squinted sceptically at her, "Aren't you going to be doing the interrogation?"

She shook her head, "No but I will be orchestrating a few things. I want you, Chin and Steve in that room, go as far as you can without physically hurting him, got it?" She looked at the three men.

"What about Kono?" Chin asked.

Melissa glanced at her frowning friend, "She's going to be my pièce de résistance."

Steve smirked, "I thought you said he hated women, feared them. Are you sure you want to put Kono in the middle of it?"

Both women threw him a glare, though both for different reasons, "I'll be there with her. Don't you worry, just focus on what a big job you have ahead of you."

Chin nodded, "You make it sound like we aren't going to break him…"

"You're not." Melissa commented, "Oh sure, he'll allude, he'll mention ambiguous things but we need a concrete confession. One that can hold up in court."

"What about all of the evidence?" Kono asked.

Melissa shook her head; "We found nothing to tie him to the scene."

"Has he got himself a lawyer yet?" Steve asked.

"I didn't see one and make damn sure that he doesn't get one. He was read his rights but he's too arrogant to think we've got him." Melissa nodded to the three and opened the door for Kono.

The two women squeezed into the room and settled in front of the one-way mirror, Melissa smiled slightly to herself when she felt Rourke push past the rest of the detectives to stand beside her. His arm subtly touching hers.

Melissa had to admit, the three of them were highly unconventional but just as effective. They would definitely never be welcome in the Federal Bureau but they sure kicked ass as the Five-O. They pushed him and they made him sweat but just as she said, he wouldn't break. She could tell Danny was getting very frustrated and decided now was as good a time as any for the two of them to make their move. She pushed a button and a blinking red light illuminated a small box by Chin's arm, signalling they were to leave the interrogation room.

The two women left the room, closing the door behind them and met the three men in the hall. "That psycho wouldn't even budge." Danny snapped.

Chin rubbed a hand over his face, "We could sic you on him and he probably would enjoy it."

"What are you going to do?" Steve asked the two women.

Melissa shook her head, "Go in and get a good spot before they're taken." She looked at Danny, "And play nice, okay?"

Danny muttered a curse as he passed them and Melissa waited until the door was firmly shut before reaching over and pulling Kono's top lower, revealing more cleavage. Her friend slapped Melissa's hands away in outrage but stopped when she heard the plan, coldly and calmly dictated by Mel.

She unbuttoned a few buttons from her own shirt and ran a hand over her clothes, making sure she looked immaculate. "You understand what you have to do?" She asked Kono.

Kono rolled her eyes but nodded, "Why do I have to play that kind of a character?"

Melissa smirked, "Because let's face it, would you believe me if I played the vixen?"

"Hell no." Kono retorted, smiling.

"Ready?" Melissa asked and opened the door when Kono nodded.

She bit back a self-satisfied smirk as a bead of sweat slipped past the man's forehead, Barry Holman, a disgusting waste of space, as far as Melissa was concerned. But she was an agent first and foremost, she would break him, not only for her pleasure but she had distinct orders to hand him over to the Bureau's escort so they could take him back to Virginia and study him further. And the only way they could study him is if Melissa took him down a notch, at least proverbially.

She heard Kono laugh and lean closer to Barry, inwardly wincing. Her friend was going to punch her when this was through and she wouldn't even deny Kono the right to do so. It would make them both feel better. Melissa already felt like scum making Kono flirt with Holman but it was the only way to hammer a wedge of discontent in his brain and make his rage simmer.

The other three of Five-O's job was to create a sense of false hope, of camaraderie, Kono's job was to unsettle him and Melissa's job was the easiest. To stare unblinkingly at him and wait; he would crack under the subtle power Melissa was sending his way; he would crack and make a go for her. But at least then she'd have him.

Barry shuddered when Kono leaned even closer and clenched his fist, "That'll be all." Melissa dismissed Kono without looking away from Holman, making sure her voice reeked of authoritarianism.

Kono left the room quietly, probably wishing she could empty the contents of her stomach and shower but Melissa shoved the concern for her friend aside, tapping her fingers on the table.

"I know you aren't going to speak." Melissa commented staring at him. Barry looked down and she smiled darkly, "And the way I see it, I think all men shouldn't speak. It makes life so much simpler."

She watched as Holman's fists turned whiter under the pressure, "There were a few murders in Florida a few years back, I don't know if you recall," Melissa began conversationally, leaning comfortably in her chair, "But the nature of the…crimes caused the Bureau to send me there." She knew she might be stretching the truth a bit but it was the only way to make herself seem more important than she really was.

Holman looked at the wall but she knew he was enraptured by what she was saying, "There were five murders, each victim was a man; they all were pretty insignificant in their daily lives…they vaguely resemble you." She smirked when she saw him swallow angrily, "They each were castrated and eviscerated, drained of their blood. And do you know who killed them all?" She asked, raising a sardonic brow, "A woman."

Holman glanced at her and she smiled, "Can you believe that? I found her a few days later and do you know what she said to me, Barry?"

When he vaguely moved his head, Melissa continued, "She told me that each of those victims were exactly that, _victims. _They were born a victim and they spent their entire lives being victimized. That she did them all a favour, to die by a woman's hand just as a woman brought them into the world. It was a woman's world after all. At the end of the day, the power lies within us, not you." She finished quietly and knew she had him the moment he slammed his hand on the table.

"You're wrong, bitch!" Holman shouted.

"How am I wrong, Barry?" Melissa snapped, slamming her hand down as well. "You are nothing, those women weren't killed by a weakling like you. You have never surmounted to anything!" She yelled.

Holman shoved the chair away from the table and tried moving closer to her but thankfully the PD had enough foresight to handcuff his feet to the hook in the floor, "I liked killing them! I got to teach them all a lesson, showed them who has the real power in the world. Not bitches like you, but men! We are the key!" He shouted.

She sat calmly; taking his shouts and shook her head. She sighed and got up, making her way to the door when a question stopped her, "What happened to the killer?"

"She was put on death row and executed last year." Melissa said, "And Barry?"

He grunted, "What?"

"Her victims weren't men like you. They were decent, family men that were more successful than you could imagine. I place flowers on their graves every time I go to Florida and when you are put on death row and executed as she was…your death will be as insignificant as hers had been. We'll forget about you and remember the women you killed. Because at the end of the day, they're more important than you."

She closed the door lightly, shutting out his shouts and leaned against the wall in the hall. She felt nauseated but still she couldn't rest; she pulled out her phone and hit speed dial, "Are agents en route to escort him back?"

Summers snorted, "Am I to take it that you won't be coming back with him?"

Melissa rolled her eyes and repeated her question, "Yes, they were dispatched yesterday morning and should be there shortly." Summers explained waiting a beat before repeating his question as well. It was disgusting how much she resembled him, answering questions with questions.

"No, I think I need a vacation." She said snapping her phone shut.

She heard a snort and looked over, seeing Danny standing by the door. She watched as the detectives all glanced at the Five-O before spilling out into the hallway and walking away, "I thought you were on vacation." Danny commented.

Her eyes found Rourke and he winked at her before turning back and joining his fellow colleagues. "I need one away from all of you."

Chin laughed and patted her on the shoulder, "You did a good job in there."

She smirked, "Call me 'kiddo' and I'll take you down."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He replied.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" She asked Steve coldly, knowing he had wanted to be the one to ask Holman the questions and find the reasons behind his killings.

Steve ran a hand over his hair and watched as Kono, Danny and Chin walked towards the exit, "He never said why."

Melissa followed slowly behind the trio, letting Steve pick his own pace. "What were you expecting?"

"I don't know, craziness? Something in his eyes, maybe?" Steve shoved his hands in his pocket.

Her eyes once again found Rourke and a small smile found her lips when his eyes light up at the moment he found her staring at him. She nodded slightly and looked away, "He wasn't crazy, Steve. Nor was he some freak, he is just like you and I, a human being."

Steve snorted, hating the comparison, "I am not like him."

She shook her head, noticing that he had said 'I' and not 'We'. "We've both killed and in our minds, those deaths were weighed with logic and reason. And he did the same. Stop trying to blame evil for something that lies within us all." She left him behind and walked out into the afternoon sun, letting the heat banish the grime she felt under her skin.

Melissa saw Kono leaning against her car and she sighed, it was now or never. She walked up to her friend and opened her arms, "Go ahead. You can punch me."

Kono frowned slightly, "What are you talking about?"

"For what I made you do, it has probably left a horrible taste in your mouth and if it'll make you feel better, I'll give you a free punch." She explained.

"Stupid." Kono retorted and walked into her friend's arms, "I'm so proud of you."

Melissa snorted and closed her arms, hugging Kono tight, "I didn't do anything. You had the hardest job here and hey, if you ever want to work for the Bureau…I'm sure I could say a few nice things."

Kono pulled away and began laughing, "Are you trying to recruit me?"

She lifted her hands innocently, "Merely laying down the options."

"Come on, drive me home. I need a long shower and a big drink." Kono waited for Melissa to unlock the passenger side door before climbing in. "Why do you even bother? If they wanted your car, they would steal it, regardless if it were locked or not. So, what are you going to do now?"

Melissa snorted, "Hey, don't be sprouting off that nonsense." She waited a full minute before replying, "Shower, eat, hang out with my friend and considering the fact that tomorrow is Saturday, maybe kidnap my friend for some much needed surfing."

Kono smiled, "Damn straight. Your on vacation now?"

"Hell yes. And I'm going to do something I've never done before…loosen up and kick my feet back."

"What about the reports?" Kono asked, laughing when her friend cursed and did a quick U-turn.

"Okay, new change of plans. Get the reports out of the way, then we can celebrate the weekend, okay?" Melissa grumbled; for once not even happy at the thought that she had to tie up some loose ends before she could call it a day.


	23. The Growing Itch for Travail

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**T**__he purpose of life is a life of purpose. __— __Robert Byrne_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**The Growing Itch for Travail **

"Hold on, my phone is ringing!" Melissa stabbed her surfboard in the sand and sprinted over to where her and Kono's things were. She wiped the seawater from her eyes and hoped that whomever was phoning wouldn't hang up. She snapped open her phone and answered breathlessly, "Yes?"

"How come you never answer the phone with a hello?" Rourke's warm silky voice asked.

She stretched on the towels, resting her chin on her fists, "Long time no talk stranger. You never say hello when I phone you."

He snorted, "I have caller ID."

She rolled her eyes and waved Kono away when the other woman made a move to eavesdrop, "Are we still on for lunch?"

It had been two weeks since they had caught the killer, two long workless weeks where all Melissa did was hang out with Kono and go out on dates with Rourke. In all, it had been a pretty fantastical time but in the back of her mind, she knew she couldn't stay in Hawaii forever and not only was Summers going out of his mind waiting for her, she was starting to get the itch that signalled it was time for another case.

"Sure, listen, I'll be about twenty minutes late, so do you mind starting lunch? The key is in its usual spot." Rourke explained.

She rolled her eyes at Kono, "Let me get this straight, you invited me to your place so you could cook lunch for me and now your going to be late and want me to start making lunch at your place, for you?" Kono began to quietly laugh and Melissa had to bite her lip before she joined in the guffaws.

Rourke made a noise that resembled a laugh, "Yes. You have a problem with that?"

She snickered, "Of course." She hung up the phone and joined in the hysterics with Kono.

"Only you would find a guy like that." Kono commented.

"Tall, dark and handsome?" She retorted.

"Steve's tall, dark and handsome." Kono absently replied.

Melissa frowned and feigned disinterest, though truth be told, her heart was in her throat by the mere mention of his name. The past two weeks had been bittersweet for her; a part of her was gleefully happy to be away from Five-O, to be away from anything that brought the painful memories crashing down and made her miserably breathless. She still woke in the middle of the night, sweating not from the heat but from dreaming about Mr Stupid, with his whiskey voice, mahogany hair that she would kill to run her fingers through and eyes she could lose herself in. She could spend eternity with him and she'd still never understand that man. She had made sure to subtly ask Kono about Steve, soaking up every detail she could get from her friend; she felt like an addict trying to get high merely by the mention of him, but she was shaky at best.

She knew she was doing Rourke a disservice, she was disrespecting him and everything he was trying to do for their relationship but she honestly couldn't exorcise Steve from her thoughts and her memories; from the way he smelt, to the way he felt when he had carried her the time she had been brutally beaten by Tommy in her first case in Hawaii. She remembered it all but she also remembered the other woman, the one that Kono said he was still with. She wasn't angry or bitter but she was hurt and felt like a masochist for putting herself through the ringer and not giving up the habit, which invariably was Mr Stupid.

Rourke was a good man; he should have made her happy to be with someone like that, to want to take the relationship as far as it could go. He deserved to be Mr Right, first choice and last chance. But instead, he had become a substitute for her misery, he was her second choice and she felt shamed and guilty for lying to him and herself about her intentions. But it would have to change, she saw the wrong in her way and when she would see him at lunch, she would be the best girlfriend she could be. She was a wreck but at least she was trying her best, and that accounted for something…right? She would make Rourke her first choice and work her damnedest to rid Steve from her pores. Dreams were for the hopelessly romantics, of whom she was not.

"Hey," Kono called over from her car in the parking lot.

Melissa looked over the roof of hers to her friend quizzically, "What's up?"

Kono shrugged, "You've gone quiet ever since Rourke's call. Was it something I said? Was it my mention of Steve?" She ran a hand through her hair, "I know you don't like my boss—"

Melissa forced a laugh that became a real one, despite the dip in her mood, "Kono, I love you but sometimes you get these hare-brained ideas and just run away with them. I just realized that maybe it's time I go back to Virginia."

"What?" Kono asked.

Melissa smiled gently at her friend, "I have a life and I have a job. I can't just run away and pretend that I'm somebody that I'm not."

Kono sighed, "When?"

"Maybe Sunday morning?" Melissa made it sound like a question but she knew as soon as the words left her mouth that it was what she would do.

"That leaves you a day and a half. Fine, fine." She sighed, running a hand over her eyes, "But you'll come visit more often right?" Kono asked hopefully.

Melissa knew her friend would never leave this island willingly and she didn't begrudge her. Hawaii will always have a special, pained part of her heart. "Of course. I've got my best friend and my boyfriend here. It would make sense to come check up on your both from time to time."

"Have you told him yet?" Kono asked, carefully placing her surfboard in her car.

"I guess I'll tell him at lunch."


	24. Feigning the NonExistence

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**W**__here we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.__ — __Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr._

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**Feigning the Non-Existence of the Glass Encasement**

Melissa let herself into Rourke's house and breathed in deeply, letting the familiar scents wrap around her comfortingly. Her and Rourke would often spend the afternoon together, as it was the only free time he had on account of shift work. She knew he would be upset about her leaving but he would accept it. They were both practical people with jobs that meant more to them than anything else. He would accept it.

The time that they had spent together hadn't given her any time to look around his place and as horrible as it sounded, she hadn't had time to snoop. She knew it was deplorable but she made it a career to know everything about everyone. She went to his kitchen and began preparing the light soup and cutting vegetables for their salad; she glanced at the clock and sighed. Her soup needed to cook and the salad was already done, she didn't really want to snoop but she had time for it before he came home. And damn it, she knew next to nothing about him. What if he were some super Russian spy? Summers would kill her if it were true. With that vindication in her head, she walked over to a large cherry red desk and ran her fingers over it in admiration. She didn't know why it was the first place she looked, mayhap it had been the colour or the vast amount of drawers but she didn't really contemplated her reasoning.

She decided to start from the bottom and work her way up, opening a large drawer and giving it a hard pull when it hadn't wanted to give. She looked inside the cabinet and noticed a small picture face down in the empty drawer and picked it up. Her job as an investigator was to always question events, people and why they did what they did. She found it odd that a photo was in an empty drawer, lying facedown. She read the slanted scrawl on the back of the photo, tracing Rourke's handwriting, "Julie and Rourke, engaged—" Melissa cut off, throwing the photo back into the drawer and slamming it shut.

She went back to the soup simmering away and began stirring it absentmindedly, piecing together all of the details so far. She knew Rourke wasn't engaged any longer but she also knew that the evidence didn't lie and the way he kept that photo…it was clear that it still meant a lot to him. It was an odd sensation coursing through her, a slight edge of jealousy but the knowledge that maybe, just maybe she was the rebound. She leaned against the counter and frowned, they hadn't slept together yet and she knew they wouldn't before she went back home but Julie obviously had meant a lot to Rourke if he still kept their photo together. And damn it all, they were once engaged.

Melissa had never been one to be jealous of other people's past relationships and she had never vocally pried into their past relationships before, partly because the past was always a touchy subject for her and secondly, she hadn't wanted anyone to pry into her love life and its sordidly empty past. She knew she wasn't going to pounce on Rourke the minute he came home and demand answers just as she knew she was his second choice as well. In an ironically despondent sort of way, they were each other's second choices and they both had someone else on their mind. It shouldn't hurt since she was doing it to him but it still stung.

She shook herself out of her reverie and pulled out her phone, "Summers."

"I'm leaving Sunday morning." She told him, knowing that despite everything in her life, Summers had always been her constancy.

"Have you bought your plane ticket yet?" He asked amusedly, he knew her more than she liked to admit.

She sighed, "I was going to do that as soon as I got off the phone with you."

"Don't bother, I'll take care of it." He replied dully. She was about to hang up when he cut her off, "Jones."

"Yes?"

"It's good to have you back."

She nodded, "Thank you, sir." She closed the phone and prepared to tell Rourke with no hint of regret that she was leaving. Without a doubt in her mind, Melissa knew she'd come back to Hawaii.

0000000000000000

"So, what did he say?" Kono asked pulling out Melissa's duffel.

Melissa leaned against the car and looked around her, trying to absorb every detail before stepping into the airport. She had spent the afternoon in Rourke's company, laughing to his jokes, enjoying herself all the while knowing she had to tell him that she was leaving. And she had; he had gotten deathly quiet and a cold look had slipped into his eyes but after she had profusely promised to phone him every night and visit every few months, he acknowledged that she needed to go back to work. As he had said, "_What you do is too important to waste it here surfing the day away_." She had been resentful of the truth but knew it was only with truth that he had spoken.

She sighed, why was she looking around for someone? She wasn't looking for Rourke, he had a shift this morning and she knew Danny and Chin wouldn't come to say their goodbyes; none of the men in the Five-O were aware that she was leaving. No, disgustingly as it was and despite her resolve to try and eradicate him from her blood, she was looking around for Steve. Pretending that he was going to jump out, whisper something in his rich voice and pull her to him, kissing away her crushing doubts.

"Earth to Melissa!" Kono mused, handing her friend the duffel.

"Sorry." She shrugged, "He was okay with everything. We didn't really fight, he knew I had a job before we started dating and he knew that I'd go back to that job."

Kono harrumphed, "He didn't really fight for you did he?"

"What do you mean?" Melissa asked, trying to shove down the wave of hurt from the memory of Steve letting her walk away from him. She was trying to be strong, it was all that she had and at the end of the day, she was starting to think…it was all that she was.

"If he really loved you, screw the job and everything, he would have made you stay. He should have given you an ultimatum: him or your job." Kono commented, not knowing the war waging in her friend.

"He knew which one I would have chosen." Melissa quietly said, hugging her friend tightly, "I'll miss you."

Kono smiled and both neither mentioned the tears on each other's faces, "Ditto. But you'll come and visit."

Melissa nodded, took a deep breath and turned around. She let the air-conditioned air hit her in the face and let the flow of people in the airport soothe her; maybe Kono was right. No guy had ever fought for her, Rourke hadn't and Steve…he had given her up without even trying. No, the only one that had ever fought for her was Summers. Even when Steve had ordered Danny to book her, Kono had quietly acquiesced to Melissa's rap sheet, but Summers had believed her when no one else had. He had believed her when she told him of her childhood, he had believed her when she had told him why she had left New York and he believed in her even when no one else, herself included, had. It was a sad state of affairs when her boss was her best friend.


	25. Forgotten Lives and Easy Lies

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**T**__he least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand fold. __— __Aristotle_

_Please enjoy and Please Review!_

_Thank you to all of the readers, alerts, favourites and reviewers!_

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**Forgotten Lives and Easy Lies**

**Three Months Later…**

Melissa ran a hand over her face in abject weariness; threw the case file on her desk and leaned back in her chair. Sometimes, she was just too damn tired that there were times where she was afraid that she couldn't go on anymore, that the weariness had become apart of her bones, had settled so deep it had become her marrow. She stared up at the ceiling she shared with the rest of the individuals in her unit and let her mind wander.

It had been three months since she had came back to Virginia, three months since she had swam in the ocean, seen Kono and spent time with Rourke. She had slept fitfully each night, losing more and more sleep as each day passed, not because of Kono or Rourke, but with the one person who probably didn't even miss her, who probably hadn't even thought of her since. She had spent so many evening staring up at the ceiling in her bedroom, kicking off the blankets in commiseration, sweating in frustration; the levels of her misery growing but still she held Hell at bay.

She refused to admit to herself that she _actually_ missed Mr Stupid, she refused to admit that she missed the small smile that would brighten his face, the way his eyes would lighten her breathing, the very smell of him. Ugh, she had it bad. She was so miserable and wrapped up in her cocoon that she had almost missed a fugitive a few days ago as he ran by her. Summers had been livid, she probably would have been suspended if she hadn't chased after him and tackled him down.

She glanced at her watch and realized it was lunch, perfect timing to make her daily phone calls, apart of her begrudged the fact that she had to make very personal and intimate phone calls on her lunch break but with the six-hour time difference, she made it work. She made sure to work overtime and not take any coffee breaks, as she already felt guilty enough but another, much sadder fact was; she was alone in Virginia. And though Summers had offered to have dinner with her and keep her company, she had feigned exhaustion. She knew it was stupid lying to her boss, who adversely had worked in the behavioural unit before transferring to the Violent Crimes Unit but she didn't want him to see what a mess she was. All in all, she was screwed and drowning.

Melissa rubbed her face and bit back a sigh that resembled a sob; she was broken and she didn't know how to fix herself. But something had to give; maybe she'd hit the gym tonight and work out her loss of focus and frustrating misery. It was as if there was cotton balls in her ears and a blanket over her eyes. She punched Kono's number in her phone and waited,

"Kono." Her friend answered breathlessly.

"Hey, did I catch you at a bad time?" Melissa asked, trying not to feel too guilty. Who would have guessed that coming back from Hawaii, she'd be a nervous, emotional wreck.

"Uh…no…hold on." Melissa heard Kono whispering urgently to someone, "Okay, what's up?"

But Melissa wasn't a fool; all of her own problems flew out the window when she had heard a man's voice along with Kono's, "Who's there with you?" She asked, a huge grin splitting her face.

Her friend bit back a curse, "No one, I swear."

Melissa laughed gleefully, "Oh, no way. This is too good…did you, by chance, forget that I'm an FBI agent? I can get ninja on your ass."

Kono sighed, "He's just…a friend…" She heard someone curse and shout incredulously that they weren't _just friends_ and for a second, Melissa could have sworn that the voice sounded like Danny. But Danny and Kono? She knew they were close, when she had been there; they had almost always been attached at the hip when she weren't with Kono but Kono and Danny? Maybe she _really _was going crazy. She was starting to hear things.

They spoke for half an hour before Melissa took pity on her friend and finally said goodbye. Kono had sounded distant and harried and though Melissa was feeling miserable, she didn't want her friend to lose her chance at scoring. Altruism, thy name is Melissa.

She dialled Rourke's number and smiled when she heard his voice, "Hi." She sounded slightly breathless and frowned at herself.

"Hi yourself. What are you up to?" Rourke asked distractedly.

Melissa scowled, moved the phone from her ear to make sure she hadn't dialled someone else's number by accident. Rourke knew the routine and he usually didn't sound as distracted.

"Is everything okay?" She asked unsure of the protocol.

He sighed, "Something came up. A friend of the family is visiting, all last minute. Can I talk to you tomorrow?"

Melissa nodded, "Sure. Good luck."

"Thanks."

She hung up and stared at her phone in disgust. Yup, she needed a good workout to clear her head.


	26. Firecrackers and the Calm

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**S**__eventy percent of success in life is showing up.__— __Woody Allen _

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**Firecrackers and the Calm**

**Three Months Later…**

"How about next time we don't walk into a fight?" Melissa muttered to herself as she unlocked her apartment door in Quantico, Virginia and hobbled into her place. She knew it was risky but it had been the only way for her to salvage the ruins of their case; it also didn't hurt that Summers was probably ripping apart the newbie on account of his mistakes that had jeopardized the investigation but had also caused Melissa to intervene.

Melissa felt a twinge of pity for the newbie but in an instant, the emotion fled. They all made mistakes and they all, sure as hell, got shredded by Summers but it was their job and the unit demanded better than the best. He would learn and as he gained more experience, he wouldn't falter as much. She had been livid when the operation had been threatened and she had wanted to bite the newbie's head off when she had been in the midst of the fighting but after she had calmed down, she had realized that at one point in everyone's lives, they had been just as green. But if he screwed up next time, she'd roll up her sleeves and give him a stern talking to. She hobbled to the phone and bit back a few curse words when she realized that her good hand was encased in a cast, "Damn it all." She carefully punched in Kono's number and waited, rolling her eyes when she got her friend's voicemail.

She sighed dejectedly and looked at the envelope by microwave, she was leaving tomorrow morning at dawn for Hawaii and Kono was had promised to pick her up. She ran her hand over her face and swore when she poked her eye instead. She was a mess; two bruised ribs, broken hand, tore a ligament in her thigh and had more bruises than a boxer. She had already planned on taking a week vacation but Summers had forcefully _spoken_ to her and told her that she had a mandatory month off for medical leave.

She winced, remembering the memory,

"_Are you done yet?" Summers asked, scowling at the nurse standing over Melissa's bruised form. _

"_Almost." The nurse replied unfazed. _

_Melissa watched Summers out of her peripherals and nodded her thanks to the nurse. "You're a mess, agent." _

_She glanced at Summers, his arms crossed over his chest and a black scowl marring his face, "Take it easy on Browns, okay?"_

_Summers snorted, "Just because he's new does not excuse him for his mistakes." _

_Melissa tried to shrug but instead settled for a slight nod, "I stumbled a lot when I transferred." _

"_Is this your problem, agent?" Summers asked rudely. _

_She acquiesced, "No, sir."_

"_You get two mandatory weeks atop your vacation." Summers finally dropped the ball. _

_Melissa's jaw fell open, had she done something wrong, other than stepping on his toes? She had struggled the first three months coming back from Hawaii but after working out her problems and finding her feet again, she had gladly thrown herself into her work. Even Summers had commented on her almost never leaving the office. "Sir?" _

_He sighed, and gingerly sat down across from her. He glanced around the cold, sterile hospital room, "This is becoming the norm, Jones." _

_She sighed, "I can't help it, sir." _

"_I know…and that's why I'm giving you mandatory leave. You've been working so hard these past six months but I'm worried about you." Summers commented slightly. _

_Melissa tried to calm her erratic breathing and the loud pounding of her heart; damn profiler. She had slowly gotten over her misery of missing Kono and Rourke and she had finally made leeway into her addiction that was Steve. She no longer cared if Kono spoke about him or not and she hadn't thought about him at all during the work hours. Though, at night, sometimes he'd never leave her head and those nights she didn't sleep. To conquer her Steve-filled evenings, she pulled longer hours at the Bureau and would go for runs or spend the late evenings in the gym…anything to not go home and realize that her life really was empty. "Worried, sir?" _

_He snorted, calling her nonchalant bluff, "You're lost in yourself, Jones." _

"_When did you become the poet?" She asked annoyed. _

_He frowned, "Save the wisecracks for your leave. Go enjoy the sun and let go. But make sure you come back refreshed." _

_She nodded, knowing that he was right. Something had to give, she was too high-strung and pushing herself harder than she usually did. _

Melissa stared at the phone, over the past six months; Kono had become more involved with the mystery man and sounded more and more preoccupied. Any other time, Melissa would have called out her friend on her lack of interest in their friendship but she had to admit, she was slightly thankful for her friend's insensibility. If Kono had pulled away the blinds from her eyes, she would have known that there was something off with her friend. That she seemed like she was drowning but didn't know how to save herself.

She knew phoning Rourke wasn't that much of an option anymore, either. Three months ago, when she had phoned him and he had excused himself because of a visiting relative, she knew that it wasn't her imagination that he sounded distant. Despite her early reticence to get close to him and her addiction to Mr Stupid, she had still pushed forward and became the best long distance girlfriend she had ever heard of. But still, their phone calls had gotten shorter but she told herself maybe it was because he had forgotten her. Despite her suspicious nature, she had pushed it away and still planned an evening with him, where she would cook dinner for him at his house. He knew she was coming but the evening she planned was spontaneous. And who didn't enjoy a little spontaneity?


	27. Despondency City

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**S**__ometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. __— __Author Unknown_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

**Despondency City**

Melissa gingerly bent down to grab her duffel and coughed painfully when her body screamed in protest. She looked at her watch one more time and decided not to wait for her ride; she had already waited two hours for Kono and realized that her friend had simply been too busy to pick her up. She should have been angry and hurt at her friend but she just couldn't muster up any energy to care. She was depressed. It was as simple and as complicated as that.

She waved down a taxi and gave him her loft's address, ignoring his pleasure at driving her to such an haute place. She closed her eyes and let the wind blow over her face, sighing when her phone rang, "Jones."

"I am _so _sorry, Mel." She heard Kono exclaim over the phone.

She was grumpy, sweaty, pissed that she had waited for her friend and Kono had broken her word, she was apathetic and depressed…she was an emotional car crash. "Don't worry about it. Seriously, I caught a taxi."

Kono waited a beat, "Please forgive me? I was just so busy with a case—"

Melissa frowned when she heard a male's voice in the background ask Kono in a kind and concerned voice, _"What's wrong?"_

This time _it_ honestly did sound like Danny in the background; was Danny the mystery man? She shook her head; no, she couldn't say for sure since she had never even heard Danny sound remotely kind or caring. No, it had to be someone else…right?

"Kono, don't worry about it, okay? I honestly can't expect you to be there for me all the time. I'm an adult." Melissa commented dryly.

Kono made a sad sound, "Are you okay?"

Melissa shifted in her seat wanting the spotlight to be turned away from her, "Are you dating Danny?"

If Melissa had never taken behavioural and voice deciphering classes in the Bureau's academy, she would never have caught the slight glitch in her friend's tone. Or the very subtle inhale of air, "What are you talking about?" Her friend feigned incredulous perfectly.

"Save me the routine. When did you guys start seeing each other?" Melissa asked.

"Melissa…" Kono started.

She rolled her eyes, "It must have been when I left Hawaii. Were you ever going to tell me?"

Kono chortled, "I've been working up to it."

She snorted, "So all of those times we spoke on the phone, that wasn't sufficient enough time for you?"

"Look, I'm starting to think this isn't about me anymore." Kono snapped.

Melissa rolled her eyes, "You're right. This is about us, I try and try and you just ignore all my giving and just take."

Kono cursed and made a shooing sound to Danny who sounded as though he wanted to intervene, "Don't give me that! What about before you came to Hawaii? I kept asking for you to come visit, I would always be the one to phone you, it was always me giving!"

"You know what? I don't need this right now." Melissa snapped hanging up and turning her phone off. She sat there and caught the taxi driver looking at her through the review mirror.

"Bad breakup?" He asked sympathetically.

She chortled and shook her head, not wanting to divulge the screaming pain in her stomach. She honestly didn't know what the hell was wrong with her, she had willingly started a fight with Kono for no apparent reason and at this point, she wasn't even sure if Kono would ever forgive. She slammed her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, wishing she could cry. Willing the tears to come forth but instead, all she got was what had scared her these past six months; void.

"Ma'am?" The taxi driver's voice broke through her reverie.

She blinked back the dryness and knew without having to look in the mirror that her eyes were bloodshot, "How much?"

He rattled off her due and she gave him twenty dollars extra and stepped out of the taxi, her duffel in her unbroken hand. She wanted sleep, shower and tomorrow evening she'd surprise Rourke. She honestly needed to feel human again.

0000000000000000

Melissa reached over and hit whatever was making that incessant buzzing sound and realized it was her phone, "Jones." She mumbled groggily.

"We need to talk." She heard Danny's voice breakthrough her sleep roughened brain and knew without even having to see him that he was scowling.

She pulled away from the phone to frown at it, why was he phoning her? A part of her wanted to hurl the phone away and hide under the covers, but honestly, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "What time is it?" She asked.

"Four o'clock in the evening. Have you been sleeping all day?" He asked and for a second, Melissa could have sworn that he sounded…concerned?

"Hmm." She agreed, gently throwing the covers off her bruised body, "Look, I'm going to have to ask for a rain check. I have a date tonight and I'm really not looking forward to having my ass kicked afterwards."

"Jones—" Danny began.

"I'll see you later." She cut him off, taking the cowardly way out. Even she had to admit, she needed a good ass kicking.

0000000000000000

Melissa bent down and retrieved Rourke's second key under the 'welcome' mat, unlocking the door and placing it back under. It'd be hard but she was planning on making him her killer pasta dish. It'd blow him away and when he was reeling from it, then she'd ask him way he was so distant. She began preparing the dinner, moving comfortably around his house when she heard the front door open, "What are you doing here?"

She glanced over her shoulder, her smile dying and the elated delight shrivelling up when she saw his face. He didn't look happy to see her; in fact, he looked worried, "what's wrong?" She asked moving away from the stove.

"Did we have a date tonight that I didn't know about?" He asked hesitantly stepping into the kitchen.

"No…I wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd like it." She asked frowning; he looked different, like he was in a happier state of mind, definitely looked younger. She slowly felt the dread seeping in from her toes.

He shook his head, "Couldn't you call? This isn't really a good time."

She nodded, "Okay, I'll just chill everything and you can bring it to my place tomorrow for lunch."

He opened his mouth, "Mel—"

She raised a brow, waiting for him to answer when the doorbell rang, "I came at a bad time, I guess." She followed on his heels to see who was calling.

She passed the kitchen threshold and waited for him to open the door wider. She swallowed when she recognized the woman hugging Rourke. _Julie_. And she had a feeling that she was no longer his ex-fiancée from the way she was hugging him. Melissa felt her face grow warmer by the second and turned on her heels to grab her things from the kitchen. She was an unmitigated fool.

She grabbed her things and left food to burn, she didn't care and she sure as hell didn't want to stay behind and explain her presence. She brushed past Rourke and nodded to Julie, "Excuse me."

Julie looked questioningly at her, "Who are you?"

Melissa bit back a wince and smiled, "Just a housekeeper." She explained leaving Julie standing there gaping after her.

She walked away with a ferocity in her steps, she was hurt, confused and a burning had began to take over her anguish. In a detached sort of way, she was more furious about being lied to and the horrid selection of men in Hawaii than she was about Rourke pulling that stunt. She heard a slight thundering in the background and looked up at the sky, "Just what I need." She muttered; a thunderstorm was coming swiftly. The raindrops began to descend and Melissa wished the rain were her tears, she wished she could actually feel anything but pain and the void. She shivered slightly and quickened her pace when she heard Rourke shout her name.

"Leave me alone, Rourke." She ordered not bothering to look at him.

He jogged up to her, his hair plastered to her face, "Come back inside before you get sick."

She shivered again and stared up at the sky, letting the heavy rain whisper over her, there was something calming about the raging storm. It somehow made her misery seem arbitrary to the storm's epic shuddering. "Why should you care?" She snapped, wrenching her arm out of his grasp. "You know what? Just pretend I'm another stranger on the street…you don't owe me anything."

Rourke ran a hand through his wet logged hair, "Don't say that…please, let's go back inside."

Melissa snapped, "You know what…what am I saying? You owe me an explanation, it's the least you can do for me."

"Let's go back and I'll tell you everything." Rourke beseeched. When she made no effort to move he cursed, "We dated for seven years…she's the reason why I transferred from Arizona to here. We were supposed to get married but she called off the wedding and I couldn't take it. So I moved here." Rourke explained loudly, trying to speak over the storm.

"She sounds lovely." Melissa sarcastically commented.

"She came back and told me that she wanted to try again." Rourke added, unfazed by her sarcasm.

"And you're giving me up to go and have another round with her?" She muttered realizing that she wasn't even worth fighting for. She recalled her earlier conversation with Kono and how her friend had joked that no man had ever fought for her and despite the light-hearted comment, in actuality, she had been correct. Steve had never fought for her and Rourke didn't want to fight for her anymore. She was worthless, broken and she had no one.

"When were you going to tell me?" She asked still staring ahead of her.

"Mel—"

"When?" She yelled.

"I was trying to find a way…despite everything, I care for you, Melissa." Rourke confessed.

She threw his hand off her arm, "But not enough. Goodbye, Rourke." She said walking away. And realized that Hawaii wasn't a place of dreams, it was a place of heartbreak.


	28. Redemption from the Stygian Void

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**H**__ell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person__. __— __Tennessee Williams_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

**Redemption from the Stygian Void of Destitution and Hopelessness **

Melissa walked; she walked until the hurt burning in her gut became numb, the shivers racking her body became inconsequential and the pounding rain and thunder were but a distant echo in her mind. She didn't know how long she walked for, her clothing soaked through, becoming a second layer of wet logged skin. But she didn't want to stop; she couldn't stop. Because if she did…she wasn't sure what would happen. Would the void turn to scorn, would she actually feel anything but stygian hopelessness?

She walked until the sun had fallen, the streets shrouded by the night and though she knew she couldn't walk forever, it was her way of running away from everything. Was this really her life? Of adoring men but never having them fight for her, of having one close friend but not being worthy enough for her time and being pushed aside? She didn't have the answers anymore but a small voice in the back of her head screamed that she'd have to find them for herself. That no one would save her and her job depended on it; in a sick way, her job was who she was. It was thankless, bloody and all consuming, but it was the one place that she didn't falter, that she knew where she stood; she knew the truth.

She glanced up and noticed that she was near her place; maybe she'd sleep tonight. Maybe, just maybe she'd sleep and not have any nightmares of hell or any dreams free from the crushing loneliness. But she knew the truth. She realized what she had to do; she'd pack up her things, sell her loft and pretend that Hawaii and her time spent on the island never existed. For the rest of her leave, maybe she'd go somewhere exotic, free from the weight of violence. But she didn't know where and she saw violence wherever she went. She'd have to do some research in vacation spots before she'd leave. With a new resolve to burn whatever was left of life here to the ground, she walked with a new vigour to the entrance of the building, stepping under the shelter from the rain and stopped dead in her tracks.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice rougher than sandpaper.

Danny pushed away from the entrance, a slight shiver emanating from him, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you? How about five hours, huh? Where the hell were you? And why are you soaking wet? What happened to you anyway? You look like you tried to stop a moving car."

Melissa frowned at him, her mind too sluggish to respond properly to all of the questions he posed, "It's raining." She said pointedly, nodding towards the unsheltered area.

She moved around him and swiped the key card through and opened the door, "Go home, Danny. I'm not in the mood."

Danny cursed, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the elevator, "I don't care that you're not in the mood, you need a good ass kicking and I'm starting to think that I'm the only privileged one."

She unsuccessfully tried to wretch her arm away, being dragged behind him, "What, did Kono send you?"

He ignored her jab, grabbing the keys from her frozen fingers. He tried to ignore the paleness to her skin, the slight blue hue to her lips or the fact that her hair was dripping a steady stream; he could be concerned later. "You need some sense shaken into you."

She finally ripped her arm from his grasp and stepped further into her place, "Get out."

Danny slammed the door shut, locking it and throwing the keys on a nearby table; it was now or never. "You know, when I first met you, I hated you."

Melissa snorted, "And I you."

"But then I got to see you in action, see the way you not only took on the case but you made it personal, you—"

"I never made it personal!" Melissa snapped.

He ignored her, "You did and you know what? You impressed me, my respect and slight admiration for you was growing."

She made a disgusted sound, ignoring the way he was pacing in front of her, "Please, save the crap for another time."

"Shut up!" Danny snapped, "But then I saw how you treated the people around you, how you didn't really see anything but the case. You're mind is constantly working, even when you're supposed to be on vacation. Don't you ever get tired? Don't you ever just stop? You're hurting yourself, Melissa and the people that care about you too!"

She rolled her eyes, "This is starting to sound like an intervention." She knew it was immature and petty but she couldn't handle the fact that Danny was finally ripping away her clutches to the pseudo-reality she had weaved.

"See? You act like you're some kind of superhero, infallible and impartial to feelings. Do you want to know what Kono did after you both had a little spat over the phone earlier this evening? She cried; she was inconsolable!" Danny shook Melissa.

She pushed away from him, "I can't control how much she feels; that she is an emotional creature." In the back of her mind, it finally triggered that Danny was Mr Mystery Man.

Danny cursed and shook her violently, "No, Melissa. She's normal! That's what normal people do, they feel, they cry, they get upset!"

She pushed away from him, tripping on her feet and trying to right herself, "What? I know I'm not normal, okay? I know that I don't cry or that I don't feel! That sometimes all I want to do is stop fighting because I'm so freaking tired of this. I don't want to look at another victim and hear their story; I don't want to tell family members how their loved ones were brutally killed and all the while, inside I feel nothing but void. Have you ever thought that maybe I just want to be normal? That maybe I want a man that'll burn the world for me, if I asked?" She finished in a shout, her stomach twisting.

"Have you ever thought of talking to someone?" Danny asked quietly.

She made a derisive sound, "Who do I have? Kono? I don't want to put her through what I deal with everyday and if I go to someone at the Bureau, my objectivity goes into question."

Danny stepped closer, "You need to let go."

"I don't know how. And if I try, I destroy every chance I get." She confessed.

He made a move towards her but she lifted a hand to stop him, her stomach churning, "I think I'm going to be sick."

She rushed towards the bathroom and fell to her knees, retching in the toilet, wishing that she didn't feel like a battering ram. She hated vomiting and she especially hated doing so publically. She gagged painfully, not even aware of Danny gently pushing her hair away from her face, all she knew was the fire slowly seeping into her, the cool tears of pain running down her face. She finally became aware of her throbbing wounded hand, realizing that she had must of hit her broken hand on the way down, her bruises screaming in protest.

Danny laid a hand on her forehead and muttered a dark expletive and for once, Melissa didn't mind being touched. She leaned into his touch, letting his hand cool the burning that seemed to be taking over, "You're burning up with a fever. We've got to get you out of these freezing clothes and try to warm you up."

Melissa feebly tried to slap away his hands, wanting to fight the delirium, "You're Kono's mystery man." She commented deliriously.

Danny objectively began to strip Melissa of her clothing, the entire time trying to find a reasonable and calm way to tell Kono he stripped her best friend of her clothing. He cursed under his breath when he took note of the bruises littering her body; the cuts and scrapes and then he saw them, white faded scars marring her back. He traced one and realized that the only way they could look so clean was if a knife created them. He'd tie her up if he had to but he would find out whom the bastard was that did it to her.

He reached over into the shower and started it, making sure it was hot enough to heat her through, "Come on now, Jonesy."

She muttered and tried swatting his hands away but inevitably, the fever took over and she allowed herself to be placed under the steaming spray of the shower. He held her up with one hand and fished out his phone from his pocket in the other, "Danny?"

"Babe, I've got her." He explained, hearing the relieved sigh emanate from her.

"How is she?" Deny everything that he could, he had to admit; Melissa and Kono were complete opposites but they loved each other and were closer than sisters. And he knew regardless of the little spat they had earlier, not even a day would pass before one of them would admit wrongdoing.

"Well, she looked as if she were taking a stroll in the rain when she finally came back and we had a little…conversation before she hurled and I realized she had a fever." He explained.

"You argued with her? Danny, she probably became sick because you argued with her! You're both hard headed, knowing you two, she very well could have died from pneumonia if it weren't for her vomiting!" Kono snapped.

Danny snorted, "You're blaming me for her getting herself sick?"

"Where is she now?" Kono asked, deflecting the conversation.

"In the shower." Danny offered no explanation.

"Good, I'll be right over." Kono said.

Danny blinked, "You don't even care that I saw her naked?"

Kono laughed, "Why would I? She needed to get out of those wet clothes and plus, you and I are an item, I know how you two _feel_ about each other."

Danny acquiesced, "Don't bother coming here. Just go to work tomorrow and tell Steve that I'm too sick to move. I'll take care of Melissa until you get off from work."

They said their goodbyes and Danny stared at his closed phone knowing that he'd have to tell Kono one day how he really felt about her. But she was a free spirit, how would she react to hearing the four-letter word that began with the letter L? It wasn't like he was planning it either but it just sort of…happened!

Melissa shook herself from the sweeping delusions that threatened to take over and let the warmth seep into her, "It hurts." She muttered, her body shivering from the temperature changes.

"I know." She heard Danny's concerned voice comment from the other side of the shower curtain. She watched as his hand reached down and turned the nozzles off and her luxurious hot shower stopped. He pulled the curtain back and moved towards her with a fluffy ivory towel in his arms.

She stepped into the towel knowing full well this was one of the only times that she'd ever let herself be vulnerable. But she threw aside the doubt as another shiver racked through her body. Danny closed his arms around her and she let herself be rocked, the nearness of another human being calming her soul. "Danny…?"

"Yes?"

"Thank-you." She whispered.

He kissed her on her forehead and she closed her eyes against the pain, tears welling behind her eyelids, "I hurt so much."

Danny pulled back and looked at her worriedly, "Where?"

She pointed to her heart and a sob fell from her, "My heart. It hurts, Danny and I don't know what to do."

He bent and picked her up, carrying her to her bed, "Who hurt you?"

"He broke my heart." She confessed, tears falling freely. Danny settled her on his lap as she clung to him.

"Who?" Danny asked wishing he brought his gun. In an innocent way, Melissa reminded him of his Grace in that moment, looking like a drowned kitten, so vulnerable and lost.

"I came back here to visit and I wanted to surprise him with dinner tonight. I was preparing it and he came home and you know what? He looked upset that I was there!" Melissa curled around him, tightening her arms around his waist. "Then someone was at the door and he opened it and you know who it was?"

"Who?" Danny asked.

"Julie!" She tightened her arms around him and cried.

"That cow." Danny retorted, "But honey, who's Julie?"

"His once ex-fiancée but now his real fiancée." She explained wishing he'd follow along.

"But you don't love him, I mean, you two only dated for six months or so. He couldn't have broken your heart." Danny tried to reason.

She pulled back and frowned at him, "Its not about time…it's about the fact that he lied to me but maybe I lied to him as well…we're both liars! But he never fought for me!"

Danny suddenly wished he hadn't told Kono to stay home; he needed help with this conversation. "What did you lie about?"

"I pretended to like him as much as I like someone else. He was my second best choice." She muttered.

Danny ran a hand through his hair, he had no plans of understanding anything tonight, "Wait…you like another person? Then why date Rourke?" Danny realized as the words left his mouth that she wasn't just upset about Rourke, the floodgates had finally opened up and she was feeling things that she probably hadn't felt in a long time. Closure had finally come.

"I like him a lot and I thought if I lied to myself and tried to make Rourke my number one choice, I could get over my little _crush._" She explained, wiping a hand over her wet face.

"Do you love him?" Danny asked quietly.

Melissa pulled back and thought about it, horror marring her face when she realized why she had been feeling so miserable all along, "Oh my god, that stupid bastard made me fall in love with him!" She actually loved Steve? As in, _"I'm in love with you." _The horror turned into terror when she realized he was the first person she had actually fallen in love with and boy, had she fallen hard. "No, it has to be a mistake, right?"

Danny solemnly shook his head, "I'm afraid not. You love him all right."

Melissa threw her arms around Danny and cried harder, "I don't feel too good now. I thought I'd feel better."

Danny smiled tenderly, glad she couldn't see his face, "That's because you have a fever. If you get in bed, you can sleep it off."

She nodded, moving off of him to slip under the mountain of covers, "Danny?"

He fluffed the pillows for her, asking absently, "Yes?"

"Thank you." She quietly affirmed, closing her eyes.


	29. A Fellow Conspirator of Matchmaking

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**L**__ove is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.__ — __Mark Overby_

_Please enjoy and __Please Review!_

_**AN:**__ A quick disclaimer to all of you, this chapter mentions: rape, the abuse of a small child and torture. If you are of the faint of heart, please skip to the end part of this chapter. Thank you very much. _

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

**A Fellow Conspirator of Matchmaking the Broken Hearts**

Melissa stirred, groaning as she shoved away the heavy covers, "Easy there, tiger." She frowned slowly opening her eyes, unsure of reality…had she just heard Danny?

She opened her mouth but stopped when pieces and fragments of the night before flashed in her mind, "You're still here?"

Danny shrugged, handing her a glass of cool water, "Have a drink. You sound like the cookie monster."

She smiled, despite her feeling physically weak and overwrought from the emotional tsunami that had ravished her insides, "Thank you."

"Stop saying that." Danny retorted.

She took a small sip but a second later gulped it all down, realizing how parched she truly was. "So…how are you feeling? Are you tired?"

Melissa shook her head, moving closer to the edge and patted the empty space beside her, "I don't want to sleep anymore…I don't even think I can."

Danny moved from his perch on the edge of the bed and settled in besides her, "Well then, let's play twenty questions."

"Fine. How long have you and Kono—" Melissa began only to be cut off by Danny.

"No, I want to ask the twenty questions." Danny said.

"That's hardly fair."

Danny shrugged, "Its my rules."

She sighed, "Fine."

"How'd you get hurt this time?" Danny asked, thinking it'd be unreasonable to shake some sense into the sick woman. He'd seen the bruises and scrapes, hell, her hand was broken but he wanted to know more. He wanted to know about the white lines littering her back. And why he'd just noticed them now. They were very faint but they were too precise to be anything but something malicious.

"The case we were working on became jeopardized and the only way to save it was by creating a scene…by beating up some very dangerous people." She shrugged and winced when she felt her muscles scream in protest.

Danny nodded, proud that whatever glass Melissa had surrounded herself in since he knew her and had grown thicker as time went, was now shattered. She no longer looked lost in translation, her eyes were clearer and she seemed to be focused on the world again. This was the Melissa he had first met at the beach and lost thereafter when she had gotten her first case in Hawaii. He knew her job was costly but he didn't think she had encased herself in glass for that alone.

Danny sighed, "You need a new job."

She shook her head, "I love my job."

"You apprehend criminals, very violent and crazy criminals. You go under cover in the most dangerous undergrounds. You profile violent crimes…hell; your speciality is violence. How can you handle it? How can you leave work knowing that you're making a difference?" Danny asked quietly.

Melissa squirmed in her seat but knew she was going to answer. She didn't feel disjointed, she didn't feel 'lost in herself', as Summers had so aptly put it. Maybe breaking down in front of Danny had helped her. Maybe it had finally brought her back. "I don't know why I do any of it…because I think that someone has to do it and if everyone didn't want to get a little dirty, our world would be overrun with the violence."

They sat there in the silence they created and Danny realized that it was the very same answer she had given him when he had first asked her months prior and he knew that it was what she honestly believed. She was no longer disillusioned or drowning in whatever limbo she had been stuck it; she was finally back.

"There was this case I was working a few years back where little girls, were being found around the city." She started, lost in the memory. She didn't want to say how their deaths had been brutal, or that it was a serial killer with a very specific type and MO. She wanted to tell him her thoughts and feelings that still haunted her. "Their lives had been so colourful and all had a pretty great childhood but they were ripped away by some disillusioned psycho. The Behavioural Unit were called in and so was the Violent Crimes Unit. I didn't know what to expect, I was so nervous of failing a case like that."

"Did you guys catch him?" Danny asked, his hand tightening to fists. The things she'd seen would probably fuel his nightmares for a long time and when he saw Grace this weekend, he'd lock her up so she never left his sight.

"No, not immediately." She quietly confessed. "He went underground for a few months and then began taunting us, making his killings a game, telling all of us that the killings were our fault. That we were the reasons why the little girls were no longer alive; could no longer go home to their family." She dejectedly commented, wiping away the falling tears on her face.

Danny inhaled deeply, "You know it's not your fault."

"If I could have done something differently—"

"He would have kept killing. You guys caught him a few months after because you're all that good. You stopped the killing. Don't let him for one second make you feel guilty for doing your best." Danny patted her knee.

She nodded, breathing brokenly, "You're right…its just sometimes, I can't stop the guilt from burying me alive."

"We're all guilty of something or another." Danny replied, waiting a beat before asking, "How'd you get those scars on your back?"

Melissa nodded, knowing she should come clean. The only person that knew was Summers and even then, he was aware of the scars but never mentioned them or asked; he had read her file, he knew. "When I was younger, I was walking home from school one day and I saw this man pulling on this little boy's arm. I didn't know what was going on at the time but all I knew was that he didn't want to go with the strange man." She quietly began, Danny held his breath knowing he would be graced with hearing about her past, something he guessed she never spoke about and the horrors that shaped her into what she was now.

"I yelled after him and tried to pull the boy away. I don't know what happened next, I just remember waking up, tied stomach down to a bed and the little boy was in the corner crying. I tried calming the boy down, all the while not knowing what was going to happen next…" She shook her head, lost in the memory.

"Did he rape you?" Danny asked quietly.

She shook her head, "Sometimes I think maybe if he did, then he would have left the boy alone, that he wouldn't have broken me emotionally."

"What happened next?" Danny asked, not wanting to hear more but it would be cathartic for her and he needed to know what had shaped her into Melissa Jones.

"I told the little boy that any chance he could get, whenever the man was too busy with me, just to bolt. Run as fast and far as he could until he could call for help." She breathed in, "The man came in a few minutes after that and began tearing at the boy's clothes. He didn't want anything to do with me, he was too interested in the boy but he brought me along because I saw his face. I was so mad that I couldn't protect the boy, that I was tied to the bed that I began thrashing, screaming at him that he was a coward and sick…that the only way he could get his kicks was by little boys, that he could only get it up was by the boy and not a teenage girl like me." She shuddered, suppressing the urge to retch.

"He left the boy and turned his attention to me," She inhaled sharply, not even aware of Danny holding her broken hand in his, "He began ripping away my clothes and I think he tried but he couldn't. He…he began beating me and raging at me that it was my fault that he was doing this; that _I _was the reason that he couldn't get turned on."

"You know that's not true, right?" Danny asked quietly.

She nodded, "It took me years to understand that, it took me so many years…Summers told me that it was his way of absolving himself of his sickness."

Danny nodded, making a mental note to personally thank her boss, "Go on."

"The little boy snuck out and the man was so mad, he pulled out a knife and told me that if I didn't call him back, he'd cut me." Melissa didn't continue; she didn't bother. They both knew from the many scars littering her back that she hadn't called the little boy back.

"What was his name?" Danny asked, wishing he had been there and shot the man.

"Charles Picot." She replied, glad that she hadn't cringed at the mere mention of his name.

"The little boy?"

"Is in college and very much living healthily and happily." She didn't mention the fact that he sometimes still phoned her, that they would exchange birthday and Christmas gifts. She had been worried the first time she had sent him a birthday gift that he wouldn't want any association with her and what happened that awful day and for a while, she had heard nothing from his end. Until one day he called her at the precinct when she was still in New York and asked to see her. He explained that sometimes he would remember and have no one to talk to about it, that sometimes his friends wouldn't understand and he didn't want to remind his parents of that horrible day. So she had acquiesced, glad that he was on the mend. Years later and now they talked openly about everything; she was the older sister he never had and he was the younger brother she wished she had.

She yawned and realized that she was exhausted, "You should get some rest."

Danny waited until she had passed out before gingerly climbing off the bed and stepping into the kitchen to phone Kono. 

"Hi." She answered.

"How are you?" Danny asked, hating that he couldn't see her.

She sighed, "I miss you." She whispered and he smiled, she was at work and there was no way in hell she'd loudly confess a thing like that.

"I miss you too. You stopping by to relieve me tonight?" He asked.

"Of course."

"I have a favour to ask you." He asked quietly.

"Go for it." She replied.

"I want you to find out about Charles Picot's arrest and what happened to him. Keep this between you and me." Danny stated. He needed to know that Picot had very much been caught and hey, if someone had shot him, he would feel a whole lot better.

"Why?" She asked.

"Kono." He warned.

She sighed, knowing he wouldn't divulge anything more. "Okay, I'll see you tonight."

He said goodbye and hung up; Melissa hadn't let what happened to her ruin her in any way but it sure as hell helped her in deciding what she had wanted to do with her life. He suddenly respected her more than he thought he could, he realized now that what she did had a deeper purpose…even if she refused to acknowledge it or not.

0000000000000000

"You should eat that, Jonesy." Danny pointed to her bowl. She pushed it towards him and he shrugged, accepting it from her, "Thanks."

"How's work?" She asked, realizing that for the entire time he had been staying with her, she hadn't even asked Danny how his life was going.

Danny shrugged, his mind too wrapped up in what she had said earlier, trying to digest everything. He thought of the long days at work where Kono dragged her feet until dinnertime when Melissa would phone or how Chin sometimes would stare off into the distance when Kono mentioned something about her friend. And Steve? He was a cantankerous son of a bitch but even Danny noticed very odd things about his friend lately. When Kono had come into work the day after she had seen Melissa off and told everyone that her friend was now back in Quantico, Steve had excused himself for the entire day, citing a 'stomach ache'.

Prior to Melissa leaving for Quantico, Steve had begun a short relationship with the blond girl when Melissa had been consulting with them for the Barry case and Steve's relationship had quickly dissolved a few weeks later. If he didn't know the guy, he'd say Steve was avoiding something very important to him but he knew the guy and he was starting to get to know Melissa as well.

The puzzle pieces began to coalesce and Danny had to fight the urge to shout his triumph when he saw the final picture. The reason why Steve had been hell to work with these past months, refusing to shave, shower, eat and only spoke in monosyllable grumbles was because of Melissa leaving Hawaii. For the same reason that Melissa was now miserable. They loved each other, even if they refused to see and affirm it, they needed each other and he would make it his job to glue them together. At least then, he'd finally get his old partner back and not the old bastard he was now working with.

He shoved away the urge to laugh maniacally, he was spending too much time with Gracie watching those dammed stupid shows—

"Danny?"

He glanced up to see Melissa watching him concernedly, "You were saying something?"

She shook her head, "No, I asked how work was going…"

He knew it was time to put his plan into action, "I'm thinking of handing in my resignation." He lied effortlessly, thinking about how prickly Steve was because of her departure.

"What? You can't be serious!" Danny felt a slight edge of guilt when he realized that he was lying to Melissa and though they had disliked each other upon their first meeting, he could tell that she genuinely cared about him. Jonesy was starting to like him.

"It's just that…" He ran a hand over his face, he should get an Oscar for his performance, "Work has been miserable…Kono drags her feet all day, Chin is more silent than usual and Steve!" He feigned a shudder and dug into his food, trying not to smile when he saw how concerned she grew at the mere mention of Steve's name.

Melissa swallowed, trying to downplay the hurricane inside; she was miserable because of Steve but she refused the satisfaction in knowing he was miserable because of her. "He probably is having a rough patch in his relationship."

Danny shook his head, "They broke up the week after you left. Steve said she was too clingy but you what to know what I think, Jonesy?"

She shrugged, all the while soaking up every mention of him, "What?"

"I think its because he was just dating her to take his mind off of someone…or something. These past months, he doesn't really eat, he doesn't even shave! Can you believe that? The commanding officer of Five-O looks like a hobo and is starting to smell like one too; hell, I think he's been wearing the same shirt for the past couple of days now." Danny explained in a conspirator tone.

Melissa shoved herself away from the table, "Well, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all that. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go shower."

Danny waited until Melissa disappeared into the bathroom before smiling broadly; part one of his plan was now complete. Now, for part two.


	30. Forgiveness and Mending of Broken Hearts

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**T**__he friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.__— __Elbert Hubbard_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty**

**Forgiveness and Mending of the Broken Hearted Fools**

Melissa woke with a start, hearing Danny answer the door to whoever was knocking. She roused herself from the lulling tendrils of sleep and gingerly sat up, she ached and despite Danny dropping the bombshell earlier, she had slept like a baby. It wasn't possible that she was the reason why Steve was so miserable, right?

Despite everything; from being beaten up, realizing that she was more upset about being lied to and made a fool of than being betrayed by Rourke, her fight with Kono, her breakdown in front of Danny…hell, he'd held her hair up when she had vomited and damn it, he had even seen her naked. Her life was a complete mess but she knew one thing, that despite the wreck, she knew hope. She'd fix things because now, she was back in control. She'd talk to Summers later, not so much to say anything but just for him to hear her, that she was back and the glass that had encased her before, was just a little misery in her life. She had fought back, she had fought for herself. And that was all that mattered, she had conquered herself, she had vanquished her own demons and that victory? Not even the darkest days could ever take that away from her.

She opened the bedroom door and immediately wished she had made a sound, finding Kono in Danny's arms, "Okay, break it up you two! I'll get a hose, if I have to."

Kono pulled away from Danny and took in the mess that was her friend, "You look like hell."

Melissa took a few steps towards Kono, "Kono…I'm sorry."

"Melissa, I'm sorry."

Both girls began to laugh the moment they apologized at the same time and Danny moved away from them to make a cup of tea for Melissa. Both Kono and him had to get back to work tomorrow but he knew Melissa would be fine. This was the same Melissa Kono had spoken about; this was who Melissa really was. He knew that the Melissa he had gotten to know had been under a great amount of pressure and he also knew that no matter how hard she pushed herself or how heavy her mantles were, she had simply tried to cope and in coping, she had cut herself away from the living. He knew they all coped differently; she had pushed herself too hard, too fast and in doing so, it was just a matter of time before she broke. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that the next time around, she would find someone to talk to; in her line of profession, he was surprised that she had lasted as long as she had.

Melissa pulled away from Kono and smiled at her friend, "Just like old times, huh? Except now, you're dating a grumpy, old leprechaun!" She finished in a whisper.

Kono slapped her friend's arm and tugged her to the couch, trying not to worry about her friend's injuries. When her and Danny would leave for the night, she would make him list all of Melissa's injuries; at least then, she knew she'd get the truth. Her friend had a propensity to downplay things. "Shut up, tell me about Rourke."

Melissa sighed and leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She told Kono everything that had happened and it pained her to admit that she had acted like a fool but she was trying to get over it; she wanted to move on and forget everything that had happened and the only way to do so, was to alleviate the pressure by speaking about it.

Her life was a mess but she was slowly mending the frayed threads and soon, she could go back to Virginia, forget all about Rourke, try to move on from Steve and work alongside Summers again. She had first thought that by confessing to Danny that she might…love Steve, something big would happen. That maybe the answers would fall from the sky, Steve would suddenly be able to read minds and they would fall into bed together. But none of those things had happened, in fact, by admitting her strong feelings for Danny's boss, she felt worse and even more unresolved. Ugh, she had to get over him.

She listened to her friend tell the romanticised version of the beginning of her and Danny's relationship and for once, she didn't have to feign interest or force herself to laugh. She thoroughly enjoyed poking fun at Danny and watching him squirm; she would have never thought that he'd be the one to bring her back from the brink. But he did and she owed him more than she could ever admit.

She yawned helplessly, "Sorry, I'm just a little tired."

Kono got up, "Of course you are! You're still sick and your body is trying to mend, we'll get out of your way."

Melissa hugged her friend and nodded to Danny before she remembered that not only had he helped her from the brink, he had also seen her naked. The man deserved a hug. She stepped into his open arms, "Thank you." She whispered.

He kissed her forehead and nodded, "Now get some rest, okay Jonesy? We'll come visit tomorrow night."

Melissa walked them to her door and said goodbye once more. She leaned against the door and sighed when the silence of her aloneness became almost too unbearable. There was a time in her life when all she desired was the resounding silence of being alone but after everything she had gone through the past few days, she didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted to hear someone breathing, to feel the radiating heat emanating off of them, to laugh with someone rather than to laugh by herself. She went to her bedroom and glanced at her cell phone. She knew there was one person in her life that regardless of personal circumstances or time zones, he would be willing to indulge her.

She heard his grumble and smiled, "Summers."

"Am I catching you at a bad time?" She asked.

He snorted, "Would you care if I said yes?"

She didn't even feel an ounce of remorse, "Not particularly but I could pretend to be rueful."

He chuckled, "Good to have you back, Jones."

"It took a while, Summers but I just had to choose my own path." She sighed and fell into bed. They fell easily into conversation and despite him not knowing that she had started dating in Hawaii, he knew that it hadn't worked out. She didn't even want to know how he knew. She listened when he told her that it could never have worked out when she was hung up on someone else, that Rourke was just a surrogate for someone that had her heart. She swallowed and for once, let him have this victory. He knew without even a hint of arrogance, he had used his stupid profiling skills and won this battle. She'd retaliate later but for now, she just listened to the advice her best friend gave her and let his voice lull away from the resounding silence.

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"I can't believe that I never noticed it. But now that you mention it, I remember all those looks those two shot each other…it all makes sense. At first, I thought they just hated each other or that neither of them wanted to work with each other but…love? Are you honestly saying Steve loves Melissa?" Kono asked with a hint of steel in her voice.

Danny ignored the subtle, unsolicited threat; he knew Kono was protective of Melissa but for his plans to work, she had to back down a little. "Trust me on this, Kono. I know what I'm doing."

She sighed, "Fine. I don't like it…but fine. She deserves an Oscar for her performance."

Danny snorted, "She goes undercover all the time and is a profiler…I'm pretty sure she deserves more than just one Oscar. Don't feel bad, Kono, she's made it her life's work to never reveal more than necessary."

Kono nodded and took his hand, "Did I ever mention that Summers was the Unit Chief for the Behavioural Unit before starting up his own unit and recruiting Melissa?"

Danny sighed, "No wonder she had such a strong façade, could you imagine working for a profiler?" 

Kono laughed when he made a few suggestive remarks and squeezed his hand, "I got the information you wanted on Picot."

Danny frowned, "Good. Thanks, babe."

She nodded nonchalantly, "Can I ask why?"

"Yes but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you." What Melissa had told him was strictly between the two of them and though Kono was her best friend and his lover, he refused to say anything. If Melissa wanted her friend to know, she would tell her. What went on between him and Melissa was strictly their business.


	31. The Reoccurrence of the Mustard Stained

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**C**__ourage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.__— __Winston Churchill_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty-One**

**The Reoccurrence of the Mustard Stained Galahad **

"How are you feeling?" Chin asked Danny as they both got on the elevator.

Danny stretched, "Feeling a little bit better. But I know that the criminals won't be so kind as to give me a few days off."

Chin snorted and slapped his friend on the back, "Tell me about it."

Both men got off the elevator and walked towards their office, "Is Steve feeling better?" Danny asked.

Chin sighed, "I'll tell you man, I don't know what's gotten him like this but that man…he's maudlin. And I never thought I'd actually get to see The Steve McGarrett maudlin."

Danny held the door open for Chin and shoved down the urge to smile. He had forced Kono into secrecy and now he could get to the second stage of his plans.

"Hey, Kono, you look exhausted." Chin commented when he saw the way his cousin dragged her feet to her desk.

She grimaced at her cousin, "Melissa flew in and is sick, so I was spending some time with her."

Chin straightened up at the mention of Melissa, though he had treated her deplorably, she was still a part of his chosen kin and despite his early reticence, she was now a part of his family.

"Morning." They all called out to Steve when he entered the office.

He grunted and made his way to the coffee machine; Chin caught the look between Danny and Kono and he smirked, leaning back in his chair and crossed his arms. He knew that despite them trying to sneak around and be subtle, they were dating and he also knew that Steve was maudlin for a reason…he'd find out what that reason was and then he could poke his boss and enjoy the show. Every chance he got, he poked and prodded his cousin and Danny and loved to watch them both squirm. He didn't even think television was _that _amusing. He wasn't worried about Kono dating Danny, they both could handle their own.

"So, why did Melissa fly in?" Chin asked.

Danny watched as Steve straightened and a sliver of awareness went through his friend, "She was supposed to visit me and her boyfriend for a week but apparently she was forced to take a few weeks of mandatory leave." Kono replied and three pairs of eyes shot to Steve when he spilt hot coffee on his hand. She shoved down the urge to smile and instead, leaned back in her chair nonchalantly.

Danny frowned; he didn't know that, he knew she was hurt but what other reasons had her boss made her accept? "Why?"

She shrugged, "Though she said it was because of her injuries, I think it was more of the fact that Summers was starting to get worried about her."

Steve frowned and took a sip of the lava coffee and once again cursed, "Are you okay, boss?" Chin asked.

He grunted to Chin and took a seat at his desk, opening a few case files and trying to absorb the information, trying to ignore the tempering rage that threatened to boil over and make him shake some sense into Melissa. Danny watched the internal confusion his friend struggled with and decided that he needed a stronger push, "What do you mean, worried?"

Kono shrugged, "She started working longer than she did…and before, Melissa _always_ worked overtime but it came to a point that she spent every night at work, she skipped lunch…she became a ghost. And now she's sick!"

"What do you mean, sick?" Chin asked, glancing at Steve in his peripherals; the other man had his hand fisted by his coffee cup and a full-fledged scowl was sitting between his brows.

"I caught her walking around the night we had that storm." Danny piqued in.

"Seriously?" Chin asked.

Danny nodded nonchalantly, "Her heart was broken and so she thought it'd be a good idea to walk it off during a storm."

"And now she is sick." Kono finished.

All three turned to Steve when they heard his chair crash to the floor, "I'm taking the rest of the day off." He muttered, rubbing his bloodshot eyes and left the office, all three gaping after him.

"The rest of the day? It's not even eight yet!" Danny shouted after him.

"What the hell just happened?" Kono muttered, realizing Danny had been right all along.

Chin smirked, "Think I just found my reason." He muttered to himself. He swivelled his chair to face Danny, "Now you're going to tell me everything."

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Melissa squirmed, muttering to herself when she heard a pounding, "Jones." She grumbled and shook herself awake. She realized there was someone at her door and groaned, "What time is it?" She muttered.

She groggily got up and stumbled to the front door, trying to rub away the blurring remnants of her sleep from her eyes. When she still couldn't see, she shrugged and opened the door, "What?" She snapped, her eyes trying to focus on the figure in front of her.

"You shouldn't answer the door without checking who it is first. You could have let in some maniac." Steve instructed, shoving Melissa inside and locked the door behind him.

"Yeah, I think I already did." She muttered, trying to clear her foggy brain. "What do you want?" She asked.

Steve sighed, leaning against the door; the raging storm inside him calming at the sight of her, "I'm here to take care of you."

She snorted, "Don't need it, I already had two people do that."

Steve chocked down the jealousy, "You look like hell."

Melissa glanced down at herself and grimaced, she was in ratty old shorts and a FBI shirt that screamed ancient, her hair probably resembled a rat's nest and her face was still grimy from a night of sleeping. But she took in the sight before her and the aching in her bones ceased, though her heart was working overtime. He had a wrinkled shirt on, wrinkled khakis, his hair was more tousled than usual, he harboured three days of beard growth and his eyes looked painfully dry. In all, he looked marvellous.

"You look like hell, too." She caught sight of a stain on his shirt and pointed, not trusting herself to go near him, "Is that a mustard stain? Ugh, you look worse than I do. What did you do, roll out of bed this morning like that?"

Steve shrugged and sat on her couch, "You don't sound as sick as I heard."

"Sorry to disappoint." She frowned, still not sure why he was even here or was this an elaborate dream? She pinched herself and cursed under her breath, rubbing the aching spot of flesh and caught him smirking at her, "What?"

He smiled, "Thought you were dreaming? I might have that affect on women."

She snorted, was he flirting? "No, thought I was in the middle of a nightmare."

He shrugged, "What happened?" he asked nodding towards her scraped knees and casted hand.

She took a seat opposite him and ran her good hand over her face, "You know how it is, one thing leads to another and—"

"The real reason, Jones." He ordered, steel lining his every word.

She sighed, this wasn't the cyborg Steve she knew, "A new recruit did something that not only endangered our investigation but also the agents that were on the inside. The only way to fix the screw-ups was to intervene and say that I was the only undercover agent—"

Steve cursed, "Do you know what gangs do when they find out someone is undercover?"

She frowned, "Gregory Fas was an undercover agent that I worked with briefly; he was strung up to a tree, the soles of his feet were cut and they burned him alive. Do you want me to go on?" She asked, she was aware but she knew something that no one else knew, that Summers wouldn't let her end that way.

Steve blanched, trying not to tell Melissa how to do her job. Regardless of what she said, she'd still go undercover but _damn it, "_You can't save the world."

She snorted, "pot calling the kettle black." She got up and glanced at him, "I'm going back to bed."

Melissa turned on her heels and left him sitting there staring intently at her, she refused to turn around and join him on the couch. She didn't know the rules to the game he was playing and she sure as hell wasn't ready to jump him yet. She might feel strongly towards him but she was still the only person that actually cared about her heart and she didn't feel like being rejected yet. She was sore, hot and cold, shivering and trembling from her ailment, she felt sweaty and grimy and most of all, she was exhausted. Not even the love of her life could make her feel marginally better.


	32. Romancing the Blindly Wounded

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**Y**__ou have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip__. — __Jonathan Carroll_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

**Romancing the Blindly Wounded**

Melissa stirred awake, letting the smells of coffee and the smells of something cooking waft over her; she couldn't remember the last time she had actually felt hungry and she knew she was finally settling back into her skin. She peeled open her eyes and let the events of the last few days wash over her; the case, Rourke, Kono, Danny and now Steve; she had spent the last six months being bitterly reminded that she stood alone and now, there were people bustling in and out of her life at an alarming rate.

She grabbed a few things and stumbled into her adjoining bathroom and started the shower, knowing the water could wash away the cobwebs still lingering in her mind. She didn't know what to make of Steve's appearance…if she could actually call it that. The man looked like he was barely alive, pallid and unshaven, his clothes wrinkled and stained and his once luxurious hair was an unkempt mess. She thought she looked like hell but he looked like Cerberus and still, she couldn't deny the tumble her stomach took upon seeing him. These past couple of months she went to hell and back and suffered greatly and despite all it, she couldn't deny that her heart froze and burst every time she thought of him.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and grimaced, Steve had seen her at her very worst and he hadn't bolted. Neither had Danny or Kono…something had to be said about that…but she just wasn't sure what any of it meant yet. She stepped into the shower and let the water wash away all of her worries and lingering sickness from her bones. Showering with a cast was the epitome of tedium but her career with the Bureau had certainly forced her to acclimatise; it wasn't her first cast and she knew without a hint of doubt that it wouldn't be her last.

She stepped into her towel and began her bathroom routine, all the while listening to the sounds of someone clattering around her place. She didn't know if it was Danny or Kono but she wasn't really worried. If they hadn't made food, she'd be much more annoyed.

Melissa hesitantly stepped out of her bedroom and poked her head into the kitchen; more shocked to see whom it was than anything. "Ah, I see you're finally awake. Had a good sleep?"

She nodded, completely blindsided by the fact that Steve was in her kitchen, cooking…Steve. She felt pleasure at the idea that Steve had gone grocery shopping and made himself at home…in her own place. And he looked washed, clean and happy? The utter domesticity washed over her and she stepped into the kitchen, accepting a mug from him and inhaled the steaming goodness that was coffee. "I knew you'd want some the moment you woke up."

She nodded her thanks and watched him move around her kitchen effortlessly. He had faded jeans on and damn if she hadn't almost spilt her coffee. Up until Steve, she was un-opinionated about men in jeans and the way they hugged the hips and the butt region. But now she was converted; she had a very large opinion now…maybe she hadn't had that much sleep, if she only kept ogling his butt. All she could do was soak up every nuance and every detail about the way his faded jeans hugged his thighs or the way his faded blue t-shirt hugged his chest and his biceps. She was absolutely doomed. It wasn't her lack of sleep; it was her lack of common sense. He looked brighter now, the way his eyes lit up when they looked at her, the slight smirk playing his lips, ugh. She had the urge to pinch herself and check if she really was dreaming but pushed down the urge to; Steve had a big enough ego as it was.

"Did you hear me?" He asked amused. She gulped down more coffee and shook her head, "Are you just going to nod or shake your head? Did you lose your voice in the shower?" Steve joked, his whiskey voice clouding her thoughts.

She didn't know the rules and she sure as hell didn't know how to handle this lighter, more jovial and homey Steve, "What are you doing here, Steve?" She asked, pushing away from the wall and walking to the sink where she washed and rinsed her coffee mug.

He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms and if she didn't know better, she would think that he did that just to spite her. He was the CO of Five-O and a former military man, he damn well noticed the way she ogled his biceps and for once, she wasn't even ashamed. That man could probably lift her with one arm and not even break a sweat. Steve was a lot of things and he was definitely male; he exuded raw masculinity and her once spacious kitchen seemed smaller than an elevator with him in it.

"There wasn't any food and the place looked like it could use a good clean up. You must have left in a hurry." He looked at her and she swallowed trying to ignore his intensity.

She knew of what he was inferring to, when she had left Hawaii six months ago in a flurry, not bothering to tell anyone but Kono. She didn't regret it at the time because she honestly didn't think he'd care. "So…what are you making?" She asked moving towards the pots and pans that smelled heavenly and leaned over the stove trying to smell and memorize everything about this moment.

Steve pushed away from the counter and walked up behind her, placing his arms around her on the handles of the stove, effectively caging her in. He leaned in and her knees threatened to buckle under her when she felt his chest rest against her back, "We _will _talk about it later."

He moved away and she started breathing again knowing that despite releasing her, they were going to be talking about why she left Hawaii in such a hurry six months ago, "We're having soup and hot sandwiches."

Melissa watched him move around the kitchen, preparing the utensils and plates, she took them from him and began to set the table, "You know, when I was a kid, my dad would make soup and sandwiches on the weekend when he didn't feel like cooking dinner and I always hated it. I would always tell him that it wasn't really a meal." She commented absently, smiling at the memory.

She glanced over and saw Steve leaning against the entrance of the kitchen, his arms crossed as he stared at her trying to decipher something, "What?" She asked self-consciously.

He shrugged and shoved away from the wall to step closer to her and when his chest almost touched hers, his hand creeping down to grab her uninjured one, she knew she was lost, "You have a bad habit of ignoring people's bubbles." She commented sardonically.

He snorted and squeezed her hand, "Tell me more about your childhood."

She reared away and shook her head, moving to the kitchen to grab the food, "Why?"

Steve sighed angrily, "You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?"

She smirked sarcastically, "You've only ever had it easy." She grabbed a plate from him and once again cursed her cast, "And I'm not interested in making things easy or more difficult for you. I'm simply being me." She added taking a seat and letting him push her chair closer to the table.

Steve sighed and took a seat directly across the small table from her, "For this to work, you have to give and take equally."

Melissa took a sip from her spoon and almost died as the flavours of the soup burst over her tongue. The man had killer looks; a deliciously rich voice and he could cook. "What is 'this', exactly?" She asked, wanting and needing him to spell it out.

Steve took a bite from his sandwich and chewed slowly, contemplating with his damn poker face in place, "What do you think?"

She bit back the urge to throw something towards his smirking face and instead, shrugged, "The way I see it, you're just wanting to be my friend. I mean, I went out on a limb for you, offered myself to you and you just shrugged me off. So, excuse me if I'm not rushing to the press in excitement." She explained, getting slight grim satisfaction when his smirk fell from his face.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry and that I screwed up? That I should have given you a chance—" He broke off and took a large gulp of water.

Melissa nodded more to herself than anything; at least now she had the truth. She wasn't the only one feeling things and he was just as clueless and confused as she was. "You know, when you get annoyed and angry, you're voice gets huskier…its quite sexy." She added, throwing him a bone.

He smiled at her, "Are we finally on the same page now?"

They shared an intimate smile, "Yes but you do realize…it'll kind of be like the blind leading the blind."

He snorted, "This isn't my first rodeo and I'm pretty sure it's not your first as well."

She tilted her head in acknowledgment, "But this is the first time I've ever felt like this…" Never in her life had she said something so gutsy, she refused to be remorseful when she was being honest and it was about damn time that they were honest with each other.

Steve stared long at her and she swallowed down the nerves, trying to come up with comments that could break the tension, "For me as well." Steve quietly confirmed.

She smiled brightly at him, "Great…so now what?"

Steve leaned forward in his chair, a devilish smirk marring his lips, "We eat."

They ate in the peaceful silence they weaved together, forgetting the world outside of the kitchen and for once, Melissa really enjoyed herself. Sure, even before her little 'breakdown', she had always enjoyed herself but invariably on every occasion, there would be a niggling tug at the back of her head reminding her of her mantles and her burdens. But when she was with Steve? Nothing existed but them.


	33. The Confessions Made at the Bottom

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**W**__hen love is not madness, it is not love.__— __Pedro Calderon de la Barca_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

**The Confessions Made at the Bottom of the Bottle**

"Let me get this straight…you two have been seeing each other every single night for the past week and a half and what's the problem again?" Kono asked, reaching over and snatching more nachos from the platter.

Melissa chugged the last of her beer and signalled the bartender for another, "He hasn't even made a move on me!"

Kono quietly burped and chewed thoughtfully, "Maybe he's being the gentleman."

Melissa slammed her head on the table and Kono winced, "I don't want him to be…I want him to ravish me!"

The two girls stared at each other before bursting out in a fit of bellowing laughter, "You are so smashed; your head is going to hurt tomorrow." Kono muttered, not even aware that she was slurring as well.

"Not that smashed." Melissa mumbled, coming to the horrifying conclusion that someone had stuck super glue all over her body and in consequence, she was now stuck to the table and the chair, "At least I don't have work tomorrow."

Kono snorted and squinted at the small numbers on her phone, trying to remember what number she had set Danny on her speed-dial as, "You have to come pick us up, Melissa has had too much to drink." She slurred, telling him where they were and hung up the phone when Melissa let out a gasp of outrage.

On the other end of the phone call, Steve stared at the phone in confusing, had Kono just drunk dialled him? He got up from the couch, dialling Danny, "Hey, you have to go pick up your girlfriend, she's a bad influence on mine."

Danny cursed, when Melissa and Kono were together, they could burn the world down and when they were drunk? It was a national security threat; "They're together…where?"

Steve rattled the name of the bar and grabbed his car keys; "They're there at a bar…together, at this time of the night?" Danny shouted hanging up.

Steve smirked and jogged to his car, the entire while thinking that he finally saw Melissa as his and whether she liked it or not, he would definitely share his opinion on what he thought of her getting drunk without warning him first.

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"Uh-oh, who phoned the infantry?" Melissa squinted, trying to blink away the image of Danny and Steve both wearing black scowls as they made their way over to them.

"Quick, pretend you don't see them." Kono ordered and began to stare everywhere but at the two approaching men.

"I can't, I'm still stuck." Melissa commented.

Kono gasped, "Still?" She then proceeded to spend the remaining seconds of their freedom trying to wrench her friend from the chair.

"What the hell are you doing?" Danny asked, breaking Kono's hold on Melissa, "Jonesy, you okay?"

"Jonesy?" Steve asked, the edge of jealousy growing.

Danny shrugged him off and checked Melissa for any wounds when his Jonesy failed to move or say anything, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's stuck." Kono commented.

Steve shoved Danny out of the way, "Help your own girlfriend out." He bent down and ran his hands over Melissa's form trying to find any wounds, "Honey, why can't you move?"

"Someone glued me to the chair and table." She said obviously, her cheek still glued to the scarred wooden table.

Steve shared a look with Danny and watched as the other man half dragged, half carried Kono out of the bar, "Okay, well…I think I should be able to help you with that." He muttered, grabbing her bag and slinging it on his arm. She definitely was going to hear what he had to say about tonight, he hoisted her in his arms and carried her out of the bar. "Talk about dead weight." He muttered to himself.

"What did you say?" Melissa asked, her head lolling around.

He rolled his eyes, "How much did you drink?" 

"Just enough to find me some answers." She slurred.

Steve frowned, "To what questions?"

"Why Steve doesn't like me." She snapped, her eyes closing on their own accord.

Steve frowned; she was so drunk she wasn't even aware that she was speaking to him…about himself, "What did he do now?"

"The man hasn't even made a move on me yet!" She grumbled, her head hitting his chest.

Steve bent down and buckled her in the passenger side of his car, "Maybe he just wanted to go slow for you…you know, not rush anything."

Melissa snorted, "I'm ready, willing and damn it, able. What if he changed his mind?"

Steve sighed and pulled out his phone and dialled Melissa's home number, waiting for the answering machine to pick up, "Hey, Mel? It's me, Steve. There's just some things I want to clear up and the main reason why I didn't tell you any of this before you went out for drinks with Kono is…you're blasted drunk. So, I'll tell you this now, I haven't changed my mind, I'm very much into you and I was trying to take things slow so you wouldn't change _your_ mind. And…next time you decide to get drunk, tell me in advance so I won't worry so much and have to carry your damn bag."

Melissa snorted, "You think that's funny?"

Steve chuckled to himself, "I think I'm hilarious."

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"I'm not going to hurl, I'm not going to hurl." Melissa repeated her mantra once more and wished she could move the blinds and shut out the damn annoying piercing sun. She fuzzily remembered Steve tucking her into bed last night and that was it, she had no recollection of where she had gone or how much she had drank. But the way her stomach was rolling and the deep, throbbing pain in her brain, she surmised she might have had too much to drink. She slowly moved her head and saw a note lying on the pillow beside her and slowly, as to not upset the delicate balance her body was in, grabbed the note so she could read it.

_Sorry I couldn't be there for you this morning but I'm picking you up at noon. Hopefully you should feel human by then. Wear something comfortable and your sneakers. –S._

She muttered a few choice words and slowly sat up, repeating her mantra before acknowledging the rising bile. She made it just in time to empty the contents of her stomach in her porcelain friend and wished she were dead instead.

Melissa had no recollection of how long she had sat with her head resting on the toilet bowl, heaving and wincing every so often. After what seemed like the twentieth dry heave, she began to feel remotely better. She somehow managed to chug a few aspirins, half a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and dragged herself in the shower.

By noon, she was dressed and feeling exponentially better; she even managed to scarf down a granola bar before someone unlocked her door, "Where did you get my key?" She asked, crossing her arms and scowling as Steve walked in with a grin, not even bothering to look contrite.

He shrugged, "I have my ways."

She didn't bother asking for the key back; she had to admit, she got a slight trill at the idea of him being able to come and go unannounced at her place. She bent down and tied her sneakers, "Where are we going?"

Steve stared at her, "Just like that? You don't even give me hell for making a copy of your key? Are you feeling okay?"

Melissa rolled her eyes and sauntered over, standing right in front of him, "Some jerk once told me that sometimes you have to give a little, its called 'compromise'."

"A jerk, huh?" He asked, smirking. Steve reached out and snaked her arm, pulling her up against his chest, "You always keep me on my toes." He mumbled, lowering his head.

Melissa stretched up and caught his lips, groaning when she felt something ignite and seep in from her skin. She never believed Kono when her friend said Melissa would feel fireworks exploding, the entire world would burn away and she'd be left standing there with him but damn it, all of it was true. The fluttering in her stomach, the nervous beating of her thoughts, the pounding of her heart simply fell away and she let herself be devoured by him. It was more than she had ever imagined, the bite of his teeth as he sucked her lower lip, the sensual swipe of his tongue as it grazed hers; if his kisses were fazing her, she didn't think she'd ever survive him in bed. She was being decimated and she couldn't get enough. She was just as hungry and damned if she couldn't get enough of him.

Steve groaned and pulled back, breathing deeply as he tried to catch his breaths, "Damn."

She rested her head on his chest, "Do we have to leave?"

He hugged her tightly and rocked her back and forth for a few seconds, contemplating something, "Yes, I made plans." She laughed and followed him out of her loft.


	34. Chances Lost, Chances Gained and in Hope

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**T**__he way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.__ — __G.K. Chesterton_

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

**Chances Lost, Chances Gained and in Hopes of Teasing **

"I took Danny up here a while ago and he had trouble keeping up." Steve commented as he and Melissa hiked higher up the hilled mountain. One day he would tell her that he had broken his arm, that he had almost fallen from the cliff's edge and had also found a dead body. But he didn't want to overshadow the effervescence of this day with the realities of their world.

Melissa snorted and dogged a wayward rock, letting the fresh air seep into her lungs. She loved Virginia but Hawaii was fighting for her heart…it also didn't hurt that Steve already had her heart and his home was in Hawaii, "Do you want me to pretend exhaustion so you can show off your manliness?"

Steve chuckled and grabbed her hand, "Are you wooed?"

Melissa laughed and sped up her pace, trying to memorize every detail to this moment. She was truly enamoured and desperately happy to be alive and with him, "I'm so happy I could die." She commented quietly.

Steve squeezed her hand, "Me too."

They shared a quiet smile and hiked for a few more minutes in silence before Steve said, "I wanted to show you this view." He pulled Melissa closer to his side and settled an arm around her, both of them resting in the lull of the mountain.

She glanced around and her breath caught in her throat, Steve had taken her to a platform on the mountain where she had the perfect view of a forest and other neighbouring mountains. She inhaled deeply, letting the wild air shock her city lungs and walked into his open arms, still not tearing her attention away from the sight. "It's beautiful up here, Steve."

He squeezed her, "My dad would take me up here growing up and we would just stand in awe of this place."

She kissed his neck, hearing the emotion in his whiskey voice and looked up at him, vaguely remembering Kono mentioning his felled father. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

Steve pulled her closer to the trees and sat down on a patch of blinding green grass, pulling her down beside him, "Come here." He quietly said, gently tugging her chin up so she looked up at him, "How do you say we get a blanket and take a nap?"

Melissa rolled her eyes, knowing full well what the mischievous glint in his eyes meant. The way they had been looking at each other…even a blind man would know they were desperately in lust with each other. Hell, if their kiss was any indication, she didn't even know if she would survive Steve at his most passionate. "Biggest euphemism ever, I can't believe our first time is going to be in the wilderness like some damn hippies."

Steve laughed and pulled a blanket from his backpack, laying it down on the grass, "Did you honestly think I'd wine and dine you for our first time?"

She knew he was extraordinary, she knew he never did what paradigms dictated but rather of joining in the norms of society, he carved his own path. She laughed and launched herself at him, speaking in between kisses, "Thank god you hadn't. But you should know—" She gasped when Steve did this miraculous thing with his tongue, "That the Bureau has a very unforgiving stance on hippies."

"Melissa?" Steve muttered, pulling her shirt off.

"Steve?" She gasped, arcing into him.

"Shut up."

"Okay."

0000000000000000

"Who knew that you were such a hippie, hey?" Danny teased a scowling Steve.

Chin smirked, "I'm pretty sure that's a violation."

Melissa rolled her eyes and pushed open the door leading the Five-O headquarters, her legs still sore from the gymnastic session her and Steve had done that morning before he went off to work. It had been one glorious week since she and Steve had first christened the forest with their nudity and though she still refused to say 'making love' aloud, she knew it wasn't _just sex, _that it was something deeper than she or Steve had ever felt before.

She quickly glanced at her watch, he always worked overtime and for once, the entire team had done the same…though from the way they were all ganging up on him, it was only to tease and annoy him. "Lay off, you're all just jealous." She snapped, smirking at them.

Chin eased of his desk and winked at her, "You got our boss running in circles."

"Your boss is still here." Steve replied sardonically.

"I never pegged you for the wilderness type, Jonesy." Danny teased, grabbing his coat and keys.

Kono winced when she saw her friend scowl at her, "I didn't mean to say anything…I mean, I thought Danny knew it was private."

She shook her head and smiled at her friend, "Get out of here before I commit murder."

She accepted hugs from the trio and watched as they laughed amongst themselves and sauntered out, "Hi." She finally acknowledged a scowling Steve as he leaned against his desk and stared at her.

When an entire minute passed and he had made no move, she began to perspire, was he really upset? "Look, I only told Kono because she kept bragging about Danny and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry." She said biting back the three-worded confession of her feelings of love; she hadn't ruined the magical moment on the mountain. Had she?

Steve pushed away from the table and walked up to her, towering menacingly over her, "What we say and do together is between us. You had no right to go and splash it across the tabloids."

Melissa bent her head guiltily, "I'm sorry. I really am." She didn't know what else to say and if he asked for her head on a wooden spike, she'd gladly cut her own head off to make him jubilant like he always was around her. "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

Steve waited a beat, it had annoyed him that Kono had told Danny and it had pissed him off that Danny had splattered it all over the office. He never regretted making love with Melissa in the woods, it was a perfect beginning to their physical relationship but damn it, how many more jokes was he going to have to hear from his immature employees? Melissa quietly sniffled and he froze, feeling lower than scum, he was mad at Five-O, not at her; if Melissa had told her friend something in confidence, it must have been huge to confess something so private. He was beginning to finally understand how her mind worked and though it confused him sometimes, he was finding out she was more tight-lipped and private than he was. "Did you make sure to rub Kono's face in my prowess?" He asked quietly.

She nodded, the sun once again shinning, "Damn straight I did, I even told her that my legs were still jelly for a day after."

"That's my girl." Steve kissed the top of her head and smiled when she laughed huskily.

They stood like that until Melissa's stomach admitted defeat and grumbled, "Sorry."

Steve laughed, "Don't apologize for something you can't even control. Have you even eaten yet?"

She shook her head, "We ran out of food, so I just came back from buying some groceries. I had to stop off at home to unpack anything before I came here."

Steve smiled secretly and didn't bother pointing out the fact that it was his home, he should pay for the groceries because he was too damn elated by what she had said. It also didn't go unnoticed by him that she said 'home' and not 'his home'; that subconsciously, she now saw things as 'theirs'. Over the course of the week, she had been spending more and more time at his place until her entire suitcase was occupying one small corner of his bedroom and damn it, he loved knowing that she was making his place, hers. That they were making a home together and he couldn't be any happier…in fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he had ever been so happy. "Ready?" he asked, his entire body seeping with contentment and utter happiness.

She took his hand and nodded, "Let's go home."

They drove quietly, each stuck in their own world. Steve contemplating his future with Melissa and Melissa worrying about how in hells was she going to say the three letters. She knew in her bones that she loved him but feeling something and saying it aloud were completely different animals. She didn't care if Steve would say he loved her or not, she knew without a doubt that he felt just as strongly and since she had runaway from Hawaii and him those six and something months ago, she came upon a slight epiphany. She loved him and she would tell him, the societal relationship advice and paradigm could go off themselves for all she cared.

"Why did you leave Hawaii without saying goodbye?" Steve asked quietly.

Melissa quickly glanced at him before returning her eyes back to the road, it was jarring at times the way they both were on the same track, "I didn't think at the time that you would care or not."

Steve rested his head against the headrest, "I remember Kono mentioning it one morning and I felt like the carpet had been pulled out from under me. Though I didn't see you every day when you were here, I still knew that you were in Hawaii and I felt better knowing I still had a chance."

"And then when I left?" She asked quietly knowing they had to talk about it, he had promised a while ago and they had simply forgotten about the conversation until now.

"I knew I had lost my chance. I had let some random guy take you away from me and I simply let you go, knowing I wasn't ready to face the truth." He confessed and she was about to ask for more clarifications as to what the truth was when he kept going, "I didn't sleep or eat for a few days after. Every time Kono would mention you in passing, I felt physically ill knowing I hadn't even tried and one day she came in the office a wreck, saying how different you sounded, that you probably hadn't ate or slept at all since leaving, I felt hope for the first time since you had left." He ran a hand over his face, "hell, even Chin and Danny were moping around for a few days."

She felt something in her stomach unfurl and a warming sensation swept through her heart. She had people that cared for her…how had she been blind so blind? She reached over and took his hand, "What fools we made of ourselves, huh?"

Steve chuckled quietly, "Never again, Melissa."

She nodded, knowing she would never dare to leave Hawaii without his acquiesce first, "Never." She pledged.

Later that night, when they were both satiated from dinner, Steve became relentless in his passion. He hadn't stopped but rather, just kept demanding more of herself to him and Melissa didn't even question him. She knew he still felt sore about the six months she had left and her wounds were still healing and sometime in the night, she had finally confessed her love to him when they both were catching their breathes from the heat of their feverish ardour.


	35. Fixing the Frays in the Metal Casing

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**I**__f you want to be happy, be.__ — __Leo Tolstoy_

_This is the second last chapter, so please, please, please enjoy! _

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

**Fixing the Frays in the Metal Casing**

Melissa quietly sat up, staring over her shoulder at a very naked and very delicious looking Steve as he slept on his stomach, sprawled across the bed. Wanting to run her fingertips over his tanned, hewed back but knowing that it'd wake him up. If it were any other morning she'd take a bite out of his very nicely shaped butt, but not this morning. After she had told him, "I love you", his lovemaking fever had only grown exponentially and she hadn't even had an hour of sleep and even if she had more, she wouldn't be able to close her eyes. It was as if he couldn't get enough of her, that he was afraid she'd leave him again and that if he closed his eyes, it would all be a dream.

She didn't regret telling him that she loved him but she needed time to decompress and think, to reflect and be by herself…even if it were for a few hours. She didn't know what to say or do if she were to face him this morning so she had waited until the sun began to rise and he had finally passed out before she slowly snuck out of bed and quickly shoved herself in her clothes, grabbed her house key and left his place.

She drove aimlessly until she found a secluded part of the beach where the salty air wrapped around her and the wind blew her hair out of her face. She loved the man and though she didn't know what their future would hold, they were stronger together than separately. She leaned against the car and smiled at the crashing waves; she was happy, regardless of running out of Steve's place that morning. She was happy.

With a sense of calm, she got back into her car and drove determinedly back to her place and slammed her way into the building. Steve had always been there for her, even when he refused to admit it to himself and to her, he had always been with her…even when she fought his memory. She had to face it, he was irrevocably under her skin, deeper than any tattoo she could get, he was a part of her. She walked to her bedroom and kneeled by the bed, reaching underneath it to grasp a wooden box that only one other person knew about. When she had first come to Hawaii, she had stashed her FBI badge in the box and unfortunately fortunate for her, Summers had known it was there. In a way, she wasn't as surprised as she should have been; Summers was a profiler and he had always been damn good at seeing things that no one else saw. The box had been a perfect representation of whom she was; at first, she had been empty and just getting by, using the box to place things she didn't want to lose but didn't want to be reminded of. But now, the box was brimming with memories that she refused to forget; most of the items had reminded her of Steve. She grabbed the cassette from her voice message machine and placed it in her voice recorder, pressing play. She let her head rest against the bed as she smiled to herself, listening to Steve's husky voice order her around. When she had awoke that morning hung over from the binge drinking night of entropy that she had spent with Kono, she had absently pressed play on her voicemail machine. Even in her hung over stupor she had been deeply happy and grinned like a mad fool as she listened to his husky dictatorial voice and knew that if she were ever worried about 'them', all she had to do was listen to his voice and know that someone would tear the world apart for her.

She sighed and placed the tape gently back into the box, running a finger over a singular leaf she had foolishly grabbed from the hilled mountain he had brought her to. She would never tell anyone of this box, with little tokens and mementos she had taken along the way that reminded her of Steve. A button that had fallen off of his dress shirt the time he had made dinner for her, a leaf from the hilled mountain where they first loved each other and even the silly message he had left her with her slurring in the background drunk. All of these things reminded her that she was loved, that she wasn't alone anymore and damn it, if she was every feeling sullen or down, all she had to do was open the locked chest and see the evidence that she was wrong.

She was wrong and she knew what she had to do to fix her mistakes. It was now make or break it time.

0000000000000000

"What has gotten into him this morning?" Kono whispered to Danny as she saw Steve tear someone apart over the phone.

"My guess…my Jonesy." Danny replied, quickly glancing over his case file to the caged lion.

"Does anyone have the Hardwick case file?" Steve demanded and grabbed it from Chin's hand, "I wanted this two hours ago."

"Sorry, boss." Chin apologized, sharing a look with the other two hostages in the office.

Steve slammed the phone shut and opened the file, his brain refusing to absorb the information screaming at his eyeballs. This morning he had woken up, reaching over for Melissa only to find her spot empty and cold. He had thought maybe she had been making breakfast or going out for a morning jog but when he found her car missing, he let out a string of expletives so foul, the air blackened around him. He hadn't slept much last night; after their discussion in the car and the realization that he had almost lost her, he had been too hungry and raw to let her go. When she had reached up and rested her hand on his cheek, whispering her love, he knew they both wouldn't sleep at all. But then his exhaustion took over ad she had snuck out; he didn't think it was because she was shy or nervous; maybe she had just needed some time to herself. But damn it, couldn't she have waited for him to leave for work before having a freaking meltdown?

Steve glanced up and watched Melissa step off the elevator and hungrily absorbed the way the navy military-style dress clung to her curves, by gods, he adored that woman. She must have went back to his place to shower and change and damn if that didn't start another round of heart flutters. He was in the military, he was the commanding officer of Five-O and he was having heart flutters? He shoved his attention back to the case file in his hands and scowled, trying to calm himself; who knew it'd take a FBI agent to reduce him to stomach and heart flutters.

Melissa opened the office door to Five-O and nodded to the trio, taking in their haggard and worried faces, "Are you okay?" She mouthed worriedly to Kono.

"Yes." Her friend wordlessly replied before nodding to Steve and making a stabbing motion with her pen.

Melissa smirked and walked up to his desk, knowing he was aware of her presence but was still ignoring her. That man sulked more than she did. "You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?"

She signed when she realized he hadn't even blinked, "Chin?"

"Yes, Melissa?" Chin asked pretending to look busy.

"Is the interrogation room unoccupied?" She asked not tearing her attention away from their boss.

Chin smirked, "We were waiting for you."

"See to it that we're not disturbed." She ordered using her best Bureau voice.

"Yes, my Special Agent Jonesy." Danny replied earning a passing scowl by Steve, he waited until Melissa opened the metal door and all but shoved his boss into the room and slamming it shut before grinning like a relieved fool.

"Why do you keep calling her that?" Chin asked, swivelling his chair around to face the other man.

"Because I always get a reaction from Steve." Danny replied, sharing a grin with Chin.

"Children." Kono remarked more to her self than anything.


	36. No Longer a Refuge but a Home

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it. _

_**W**__here we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. __— __Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr._

_Please enjoy and __**Please Review!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

**No Longer a Refuge but a Home**

Melissa watched as Steve leaned against the nondescript table, feigning nonchalance but she knew him and she knew he was aggravated. "About this morning…I'm sorry." She waited for Steve to make a move or even a sound but when he didn't she began to fidget with her hands, walking towards him like a criminal would walk towards their executioner. In hindsight, she knew she shouldn't have bolted, hell, she knew he would wake up in a near panic but she had freaked out at the gravity of what she was feeling. It was all too much, especially since she had never felt like this before.

"I know I should have stayed or something but I wasn't ready for it, I just wanted some time alone to think and I knew that you would pick up on my distress if I stayed around." Melissa explained, stepping between his outstretched legs.

Steve shrugged, staring at the wall behind her, "You're making a habit of it. What about what I want?"

Melissa stared down at her feet, she was lower than plankton at that moment, "I'm selfish and I'm a wreck but damn it, I'm trying." She argued.

He shoved away the urge to take her in his arms, he knew she was back to herself the moment she came out swinging, "Did you come to a realization then?"

She nodded and took a few steps closer, her arms brushing his thighs, "That I'll fight for you and that I'm not going to hide behind my doubts any longer." She smiled up at him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I love you, Steve McGarrett."

Steve stood up, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I love you, Melissa Jones."

She smiled and kissed him, feeling more secure and content than she had ever felt before and though she didn't know what their futures held, she knew they were going to be okay.

* * *

_This is it, folks! I just want to say THANK YOU to every single one of you, for tagging along, reading, letting me know what you think and being a part of something more than I forethought at the beginning of this story. This is the end of Refuge for Ourselves but it is not the end of Melissa and Steve's story. A sequel is in the works, so please keep your eyes out during the winter months for it. Thank you again. More than you'll ever know. _


	37. The Inconsistencies in the Rain

_Hello, readers! I know I promised you a sequel during the winter months but I couldn't wait that long, so now, I present you the sequel. I posted a snippet here so anyone that doesn't have me under their alerts can be reminded to check out the sequel: **A Home for Ourselves **_

_Also, I am also writing an original suspense/romance/horror story on the sister site (fictionpress) under the name: strawberry-cactus. I would love to hear what all of you think, as you are all very dear to me. Cheers!_

* * *

Melissa crouched down and watched the white cotton sheet that the medical technician had haphazardly thrown over the remains; slowly ebb into red as the sheet absorbed the residual violence from the carpet. Though it was inappropriate of her to focus on the coppery red leach into the cotton fibres, it was apropos. Considering the white was once pure and unadulterated but now stained by the truth of the world, it was a fitting epitaph to the broken remains. She shook her head trying to dislodge the maudlin thoughts swirling and besmirching her brain.

She leaned in closer and lifted the corner of the dense sheet with her stained gloved hand, and gritted her teeth when the overpoweringly sickly sweet, coppery smell assaulted her senses, and forced herself to breathe in through her mouth. It didn't matter how many times she had seen the dead; seen the remnants of lives brutally taken away by the jarring violence of the world, she still was always slightly shocked by the amount of blood, the brutality and damn, the smells. Some days, if she were lucky, it didn't bother her as much but for some reason, today…it was all she could do not to claw her way out of the rising tide, scream and rage as she tore herself apart.

"Find anything, Jones?"


End file.
